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Annesha Dey: Okay, it should be recording. So I'll go ahead and start. Hi, I'm Annesha and I'm a researcher on this project. Alika Jimenez: Hi, I'm Alika, I'm also a researcher on this project. Lorissa Saiz: Hi, I'm Lorissa Saiz. I'm a PhD candidate at the University of Houston in the Southern Molecular Biology program. I identify as Mexica and I'm being interviewed for this project. Annesha Dey: Cool. So the first question we have is, do you have any tribal affiliation? And if so, what?

00:00:40.000 - 00:02:21.000

Lorissa Saiz: I don't have tribal affiliation. So like I said, I identify as Mexica. There was like a lot of, well that's Aztec, right? Everyone calls us Aztecs, so there was a lot of migration from Central Mexico up into the Southwest and into Texas as well. So I might also have Pueblo or Diné ancestry, but I don't know. So I tend to just identify as Mexica. Annesha Dey: That makes sense. The next question we kind of have is we want to know a little bit about your childhood and where you were born, where you grew up, and if you've moved around a lot in your childhood – but where really is home to you? Lorissa Saiz: So I was born and raised here in Houston, Southeast Houston, Texas. So I have not moved at all really. My parents just live down the street from where I'm living right now, so haven't really moved anywhere. I feel like I have really deep roots in Houston, even though my family is relatively new to Texas. I'm second generation born in Texas, so Houston really feels like home. I have done a lot of traveling and I love traveling, but nowhere feels quite like home like Houston does. Annesha Dey: Where have you traveled to, just out of curiosity?

00:02:21.000 - 00:03:23.000

Lorissa Saiz: I've traveled around the U.S. I've been to Arizona. I just went to Ohio last month, Florida, Louisiana, other places throughout the U.S., California too. My favorite place that I've been and the only place that I've been outside the US has been Ecuador. So I've been to Quito and I've also been to the Galapagos. Annesha Dey: Cool. And is it all just travel to, who do you usually travel with or what's usually the reason for travel? Just for? Lorissa Saiz: Yeah, so I'm academia, so a lot of the times we have to travel for conferences and stuff like that, but I actually went to Galapagos for a learning abroad thing that we have at UH. So I went first as an undergraduate in 2019, and then I went again in 2023 as a teaching assistant. Annesha Dey: Cool. So research or stuff?

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Lorissa Saiz: Yeah, research or conference-related stuff. Annesha Dey: Cool, cool. Very cool. Coming back to the topic of childhood a little bit, would you be able to share maybe some memories that stand out to you from your childhood? Lorissa Saiz: I was thinking about this in the context of indigeneity and in reality, I think for myself and a lot of indigenous people in Texas who aren't very connected to our roots, through our family, you do things or have things that are indigenous, but you don't know that they're indigenous. So I know growing up, my grandpa always had silver work. The belt buckle that he wore had bear claws on it and turquoise and silver, and he would bring us beaded stuff, but I didn't really know what it was until I grew up and then I realized, wait a minute, that's Diné silver work. I did not know that when I was little at the time, or my mom's side of the family is in San Antonio right now. So whenever we would go, my tia has Texas Mountain laurels in her front yard and they drop these little red seeds, actually have some, they drop these little red seeds and we would always play with them. And I didn't realize until later I went to the museum and saw, oh, the indigenous people of this region used Texas Mountain Laurel Seeds for this stuff. And it's like, wow, that's so cool. That's something that I grew up with, but I didn't know it was so meaningful until later on. Annesha Dey: That sounds really cool. Thanks for sharing that with us. Next question I have is more about family traditions and potentially stories or any traditions your family really has that has been passed down, if there are any.

00:05:45.000 - 00:09:31.000

Lorissa Saiz: Yeah, I think it's really difficult because my family isn't super close, so my mom's side of the family is pretty close, but it's hard for me to be close to them. Since they're in San Antonio and I'm in Houston, I do try to go visit as much as I can, and they definitely have traditions and recipes and stuff like that that they've passed down, but I am just now learning because I'm making a conscious effort to learn. And the other thing I think is that my family is now very Catholic, so there's a lot of Catholic traditions and stuff that they have and it's very colonized, and I think I'm one of the first ones, if not the only one in the family that's trying to pull away from that and look at other traditions that we need to be observing, like solstice, et cetera. Lorissa Saiz: So I would say we don't really have a lot of traditions in the family. And I'll also say that a lot of my grandparents passed away when I was kind of young. So both my mom's mom and my dad's dad passed away within a year of each other when I graduated high school. So right before I really started making an effort to learn more about my family and asking questions and trying to figure things out, I didn't have that opportunity to talk to my elders and know more about my family history. So now I'm kind of in a situation where it's just like, well, that's cut off now. If my parents and my aunts and uncles don't know about it, then that's just something that was lost and it's really unfortunate. Annesha Dey: Yeah, I can totally understand that. And I'm sorry about the loss of your grandparents as well, but I don't know, how has all of that made you feel in terms of what are your now ways that you try to seek out this kind of knowledge that is traditionally supposed to be a lot more accessible with family lines, but how have you made maybe efforts to try to learn about or what are your new or different sources of learning? Lorissa Saiz: So as far as family stuff, I try to talk to my aunts and uncles and see, “Hey, do you guys remember anything that my grandparents told y'all when y'all were growing up? Or do you remember anything?” And it's kind of difficult because they don't remember a lot of stuff, but something that I've had to make peace with, it's just like, okay, well if I want to find out something, then I'm going to have to go somewhere else and it's not necessarily going to be my family ties. That's why I say I identify as Mexica because there's not really a way for me to know what other tribe that I'm from. And when I talk to other Natives, they kind of talk to me with kind of pity because they're like, oh man, you really don't know where you're from. You really don't know who you are.

00:09:31.000 - 00:11:33.000

Lorissa Saiz: And it's like, okay, well you kind have to make peace with that at some point and just if you want to learn, then go find elders. Go find people who will teach you and learn then. So in 2021, I reached out to Houston Aztec Dance and I started showing up for danza and everything, and they also do ceremony and stuff like that. So I just started coming around and showing up for that as much as I could. And that's how I met Lucille, who's the CEO of Texas Tribal Buffalo Project because she was my teacher's teacher. So that's how I know them, and it's been nice because I'm kind of connecting with something that is my culture in a different way. My family doesn't know about any of this. My family never practiced ceremony or anything like that, so it's a different way to reconnect if you don't have family ties. It's like, okay, well there's other ways that you can connect back to this knowledge. You just have to go out. And I really went out of my comfort zone to find it. Annesha Dey: That sounds really cool. And we've had a lot of people talk about danza, it sounds really, another person on our team actually had, she was the president of the Indigenous club at our school, and then she got some, I can't remember which group it was, but they came and performed and we had a whole cultural fair thing with food and everything, and it was really cool to watch. So it takes a lot of effort. It looks so tiring because you're dancing for so long. Lorissa Saiz: Yeah. Annesha Dey: It's really cool. So that's awesome to hear. As a follow up to that, I was wondering how has this whole process of reconnecting especially recently impacted your own view or conception of your identity and yourself?

00:11:33.000 - 00:14:43.000

Lorissa Saiz: I think before I went on this journey, I guess – I'm president of the chapter of the Society for the Advancement of Chicano Hispanics and Native Americans in Science. So I had some people kind of question my leadership of that club because they said that I wasn't native and I was like, okay, I might, I identified as Mexican at that time, Mexican - American, and I was like, we're Native too. If I get a DNA test right now, it's going to say that I'm mostly Native, probably. So I went and I got a DNA test and straight enough, 47% indigenous American, and then a couple 1% North American and then 2% South American, so it's like over half of my DNA has markers for indigenous DNA. So I was like, that's a fat lie. You can't come in here and tell me I'm not Native and I have no right being where I am. Lorissa Saiz: So that's when I kind of started reconnecting and stuff like that. I realized I don't know anything about my culture, I don't know anything about our traditions, I don't know anything about anything, so if I want to be in a space where I'm advocating for indigenous people, I need to know what I'm talking about. So that's why I kind of started on that journey and it's been really empowering, I think because I'm not just doing this for others, I'm also doing it for myself. So I feel like I've been able to feel more confident in myself and my identity by going on this journey and figuring out what I need to figure out. So it's been really nice. I think I feel better in my own skin now than I did before. Lorissa Saiz: Oh, I will add something to that. Sorry, cut y'all off a little bit. But I'll also say that I'm pretty brown. I look brown. My family is pretty white passing, so if you look at my dad or if you look at my brother, they look pretty white. They could go out on the street and look white. So it's been, I think even more difficult for me because I look different. I have the nose and everything, I have the brown skin, so it's been a little bit more difficult for me because I'm out there looking some type of way, but I wasn't able to identify with the way that I looked. So it was really difficult for me growing up. Alika Jimenez: Yeah, thank you for sharing that. It sounds like it's been difficult.

00:14:43.000 - 00:15:50.000

Lorissa Saiz: She's breaking up a little. Annesha Dey: Hey, Alika, breaking up a little bit probably. Lemme text her. Annesha Dey: [technical difficulties] Okay, you're good again. Alika Jimenez: Can you guys hear me?

00:15:49.000 - 00:18:41.000

Annesha Dey: Yeah. Alika Jimenez: Yeah. Sorry, my zoom was, I don't know what happened. My internet just went down for a second. Whoops. But sorry. I was just going to ask, you mentioned Danza and just various ways of trying to reconnect and empower yourself, right? Understand your identity more. Can I ask how you keep your culture and your identity alive in your daily life? Lorissa Saiz: Yeah, I think something that I've really learned over the past couple of years, whether it be through Danza or through ceremony or through other indigenous professionals that I've come in contact with, for example, SACNAS, like I was talking about before, I'm on the board of directors for the national organization. So through that I'm able to also be in touch with other indigenous scientists from across the country. And I think that's been a really powerful thing for me as well because I have been able to start shifting my mindset to where I'm thinking about things from a more indigenous perspective than I did a few years ago. So I think that's been really powerful for me just to be able to think about things from a different perspective. But I think also something that people who identify as Mexican-American think about a lot is that a lot of our culture is steeped in indigenous culture, whether it be Mexica or Mayan or whatever, whatever else it is. Lorissa Saiz: So if you use a molcajete , that's indigenous. Molcajete is an indigenous invention, or if you're eating corn tortillas, that's an indigenous invention. You're eating tamales at Christmas dinner, that's an indigenous invention. So there's a lot of things that you don't think about that is part of the culture that you had already embraced that is indigenous. I remember one time, even my little cousin, she asked me what even is indigenous food? And I had to sit her down and I was like, think about what you eat for Thanksgiving. You eat corn, you eat pumpkin pie, you eat Turkey. All of those things are indigenous food, like beans, the three sisters, the beans, the squash, and the corn. So just kind of not even having to change anything in that aspect, just recognizing the pieces of my life that are indigenous and that I hadn't realized before that were indigenous.

00:18:41.000 - 00:22:31.000

Lorissa Saiz: And then also I've been incorporating a lot of indigenous jewelry or indigenous clothes into my wardrobe. So I actually make ribbon skirts now, and that's been another cool way for me to reconnect because ribbon skirts, maybe they're not a real traditional form of indigenous art, but it's a symbol of indigenous resilience because it's like, all right, well the colonizers took our buffalo and everything, so we can't make clothes out of that anymore. But now we have cotton, we have ribbons, we have satin, so let's make something out of that. And with beading too, it's the same thing. It's just resilience there, symbols of resilience there, symbols of resistance. And that, incorporating that into my wardrobe has been a pretty core reminder of like, Hey, we're still here. Alika Jimenez: I'm hearing you talk a lot about different forms of art. Can you tell us more about how art plays a role in your culture and your expression? Lorissa Saiz: Yeah, I like to paint a lot. And when I first started danza , we actually also did an art show to honor one of the founding elders of our Calmecac. So our Abuela M'api was encouraging us to do art to showcase or to showcase art that we've already done. A lot of the people in the Calmecac are artists, and I would consider myself an artist I guess, but I hadn't done any work that was directly related to dan z a or directly related to indigeneity. So I, like, painted mother earth, like a woman in regalia, but holding the earth. And then Abuelo Fuego , which is the Grandfather Fire, and I painted a guy in dance regalia holding up popoxcomitl, which is the representation of the fire. And then I also did a four elements series where I was like, okay, the shell represents the wind, the drum represents the earth, the water is representative of the water and the popoxcomitl represents the fire. Lorissa Saiz: So I did that and we're also really encouraged to make our own regalia for Danza. So I did start sewing a couple of years ago and that was one thing I did learn from my grandma. So I have one grandma left and I learned how to sew from her. So I started making ribbon skirts and then lately I've been like, oh, well I want to try something harder. So I made a regalia for myself and I really like it. And me and my dad have also done some stuff with woodwork. So I have this shield, cause you can wear a shield and Danza and it's called a Chīmalli. I can actually show it to you if you want to see it, I have it.

00:22:31.000 - 00:25:23.000

Lorissa Saiz: So we made the wooden part, that's Quetzalcoatl, he laser etched this part, he's the guardian of the north and my whole regalia is based off of Quetzalcoatl. So we made that and we also made a frame. We have drums, they're big drums that you play standing up, they're called huehuetl. So I can play it, but I don't have my own yet. We made the frame for it, but I don't have a hide to put on it, so it's kind of pending, but that's also some stuff that it's like, okay, my dad knows how to build things and he's taught me how to build things my whole life. So now it was just another way for me to bond with my family through making stuff for danza or making stuff that I figured out like, oh, that's cool, I want to make that. Annesha Dey: Yeah, that's really cool. And that is so beautiful and I can tell it took a really long time to make, I expect – so detailed, but thank for showing us that and I think that'll be really good for just to change up the viewing a little, people who ar e seeing that. But I was wondering, so you make these regalia and I know that you said that you mentioned a big part of it is family, making it with family, and that's a way that you, you're able to connect. And I was wondering if when you, do you actually use the regalia that you make in traditions with your family or rituals or anything like that? And if you could speak about that a little. Lorissa Saiz: Not with my family, but I think, like I said, my family is really disconnected from everything, but I think it's kind of nice when I go and be like, Hey dad, I want to make this, or Hey grandma, I want to make this. And they don't know what it is or what it's for or anything like that, but they're like, yeah, yeah, we can make this. It's their way of supporting me in reconnecting. They don't really know what's going on, but they're like, yeah, we'll support you anyways, kind of thing. So I think that's nice just knowing that I have my family's support, even if maybe they don't want to walk down this road or they don't really care that they've lost anything, that's fine, that's their business. But just knowing that they support me with trying to find this information and find these answers, that's a good feeling. Annesha Dey: Yeah, I can totally understand that. That makes sense.

00:25:23.000 - 00:28:24.000

Alika Jimenez: Do you feel like art and building is the main way that you can reconnect indigeneity in your family? Because you said they're a little bit more distant on concretely, I guess, exploring that. Do you feel like creating that regalia is the biggest connection you have there? Lorissa Saiz: Yeah, I think so. My grandma also really loves the dance part, but she's turning 90 this year, so she actually, it's hard for her to make it out to actually see the Danza, especially because the Calmecac is based out of north side and I'm in Southeast, so it's kind of far and a lot of the times the events are kind of long, so it's hard for her to be sitting out there in the heat or whatever for the whole time. But I'll record videos and then I'll show her. But yeah, I think definitely making stuff is probably the easiest way for me to share everything that I've learned with my family. And I think also as far as just indigeneity is concerned, the food – explaining the origins of the food because my family likes food. So listen it, Alika Jimenez: You've mentioned Danza quite a few times, and I kind of want to hear more about when you started, and I don't know if you could explain a little bit about what it's like to participate. I know you explained the creation of the regalia and how that's important, but if there's anything more you want to add, I'd love to hear. Lorissa Saiz: Yeah, so Danza for me has been the main way that I've done all this reconnecting because I literally knew nothing. My family knew nothing. I had to find someone who knew something. So the way I did that was like, Hey, I want to dance. I contacted Abuela M’api and she was like, all right, yeah, sure. We have practice at these times, you can show up. And then basically just started going to practice twice a week. And then they have ceremonies and stuff like sweat lodge ceremonies for the solstice or the tlatloani are important emperors and stuff that ruled during the Aztec Empire. So one of them is Nezahualcoyotl, and he is kind of the patron of the sciences and learning and stuff like that. So that's usually in April. So we have ceremonies to honor them, and we usually do that around the Dia del Niño because I think: something having to do with especially the kids, getting the kids to learn and stuff like that.

00:28:24.000 - 00:32:35.000

Lorissa Saiz: So there's ceremonies for that. Ceremonies in December we have the solstice. Huitzilopochtli is usually the deity that we're honoring during that time. And those are my favorites. And then we also have the spring equinox, which is coming up, so that's also one of my favorites. It's just flowers and sharing knowledge and celebrating – like, Mexica New Year is in March during the spring equinox because that's when all of the barrenness and death that comes with winter is changing into rebirth and growth and stuff like that. So we celebrate new beginnings and stuff like that during March, and my birthday's in March, so that's usually one of my favorite times too. Lorissa Saiz: So I just started off just dancing, and then they were like, oh, we're having this art show. You should put your art in there. So I did and they were like: Oh, we're having sweat lodge, or we're having ceremony, or Hey, this elder's coming, you should come meet them, kind of thing. So over the years I just started going to stuff and then it's been kind of harder recently because I'm getting further along in my PhD and I have a lot of work to do, but I've been trying to go to practice at least once a week and show up as much as I can. But yeah, that's kind of how I got into everything, and that really opened the door. I think now I feel like I don't have to prove how indigenous I am – before I felt, I always felt like I wasn't indigenous enough, not Mexican enough, not American enough. But now I'm just kind of confident in where I'm at. I feel like I don't have to prove anything anymore. Annesha Dey: Yeah, it's great to hear that and I think it's difficult not feeling like you fit into any really one category that's given to you, but being able to create your own through danza and just expressing yourself, I think that's really cool to hear. And it's really cool that you've hit that point and I guess you're just seeking more now, so that's awesome. I was wondering if you, through danza, have you been able to make a lot of friends and stuff like that that are different from people that you interact with at school and things like that? Lorissa Saiz: Yeah, for sure. I think most of the people that I know through danza are people that I would never have talked to if I hadn't gone. So I think it's really cool because you kind of get to hang out with people that are from all different walks of life and it kind of reminds you we're not just one kind of people. We are not just doing one kind of thing. So it's nice to know that. And I think it's also cool because recently we've gotten another UH student that's joined, but he's an undergrad and he asked me questions and stuff about, oh, graduate school and everything like that. So it's cool because I get to share where I'm at and I get to provide him with a little bit of guidance that maybe he wouldn't have gotten otherwise. If he wasn't in danza then he wouldn't have known me and maybe he wouldn't have gotten that information. But yeah, I think it's really cool just to be able to connect with all sorts of different people and you never know who you're going to meet. I met Lucilla and I never thought that I would be meeting her through the danza or elders from other countries and stuff like that. And I think that's really cool. Definitely not something that I would've been able to do by myself.

00:32:35.000 - 00:36:32.000

Annesha Dey: Yeah, I can totally understand that. And UH is also a really big school, so it's cool that you're able to meet people outside of that. And it's funny that someone from UH is there. That's awesome. The next category I kind of want to talk about, and I know you mentioned a little bit about how your family likes to cook, and I get the sense that you have a lot of stories to share with food. So we just want to invite that conversation about different ways that you've been able to connect with either: your background, your culture, your identity, yourself, family, and what food really means to you. Lorissa Saiz: Yeah, I think food has been part of that reconnecting journey as well, but not in that I'm learning new information, but in that I'm applying new information to things that already existed in my life. So there's a lot of things like tamales, like rice, stuff that my family makes that I didn't know were indigenous until more recently and stuff that's been passed down. My Tia has a molcajete that is very, very used. I have one that's pretty much brand new because my friend gave it to me a couple years ago for my birthday, and I never would have expected the difference that I can see clearly between a seasoned molcajete, a brand new one. I'd much rather have the seasoned one that was passed down from grandma to daughter to granddaughter. Lorissa Saiz: So I'm having to learn that from my mom's younger sister. So my mom actually left home at 18, straight out of high school, and she moved to Houston to go to UH for hotel and restaurant management. So she was basically right out the house, didn't stay long for nothing. And then she met my dad over here and they got married and she ended up staying in Houston. So she doesn't have all the recipes and stuff like that that my family – that her family has – and she didn't really learn them. So now if I want to learn them, I have to go to her younger sister because she stayed and she was actually my grandma's caretaker for a really long time. Lorissa Saiz: I learned how to cook rice from her. My other Tia I learned how to make tamales from, and there's other stuff that they make: hot cocoa for sure. I don't know if y'all know this, but the Nahuatl word is where we get the word xocolatl from. So that was also something that I was like, whoa, wait, wait, wait a minute. This is indigenous. I didn't know that. I just thought that we were making hot cocoa kind of thing. So there's that stuff that I know how to make. And it was funny because we actually had Friendsgiving, but make it indigenous heritage month last year, and we invited Abuela M’api and the Danza crew and everyone to come, and we made a bunch of food that's indigenous ingredients, and one of the things that I made was the hot cocoa, and everyone's asking me like, oh, is this “Abuelita hot cocoa?” And I'm like, Abuelita wishes that she was this good!

00:36:32.000 - 00:39:10.000

Lorissa Saiz: So yeah, that's some stuff that I'm really proud of because I found that I'm actually pretty good at cooking. My parents used to make fun of me a lot because I would experiment with something and it would go horribly wrong, but I wasn't taught, no one sat down and taught me how to do it. But now I'm kind of listening to my tia a little bit and figuring stuff out. So now I can cook pretty good and I can cook better than my mom at some things now. So I'm really proud of myself for that. Yeah, Annesha Dey: That's definitely a milestone to hit for sure. I don't know if I'll ever hit that, but that's really impressive that you've really taken so much initiative in trying to teach yourself how to cook and seeking out recipes and instructions and stuff. What is the dish that you're most proud to make or you enjoy making the most? I guess. Lorissa Saiz: Recipe is a very loose term because my tia cooks with feeling, right, so she'll like, oh, you put this much in there. And I'm like, but how much is that? She's like, until, so one thing that she's been having me do is when she's teaching me how to make something, she'll make me taste it while we're going, if it tastes like this, then that's enough and you can move on kind of thing. So that's kind of how I've started learning how to cook with feeling and not with the recipe. The rice is probably the thing that I'm most proud of because I didn't realize how much of a labor of love it was until I started making it. Because with Mexican rice, you kind of have to toast it. You can't just cook it straight up. So toasting the rice, especially if you're making a big batch, it takes a long ass time. So just sitting there – and you can't leave it there either. You have to be constantly tossing it over so that it doesn't burn on one side and it's still wet on the other side. That's the thing that I'm most proud of because I can make it pretty similar to what my tia makes, but not quite exactly there yet. So the rice is probably what I'm most proud of. Annesha Dey: Awesome. And is there a favorite dish that you have just in general, whether it's like you’ve made it or your family's made it for you?

00:39:10.000 - 00:42:18.000

Lorissa Saiz: We do like the tamales. My family started making them in different flavors. So there's pork, there's chicken, there's bean and cheese, jalapeno cream cheese and stuff like that. They just started getting really creative with the flavors in the past couple of years, and that's something that I really enjoy. And I always get sad when I don't go for Christmas, then that means that I miss it. So my family has it to where we switch holidays. So for example, this year I was in San Antonio with my mom's side of the family for Thanksgiving, and then for Christmas we were here in Houston with my dad's side of the family. So whenever I am here for Christmas, I'm really sad. I don't get the tamales and I don't get to make them with everyone either. Annesha Dey: Yeah, that sounds awesome. Cool. The next thing we want to talk about is kind of shifting back a little bit to your experience in going to school and academia and your community more about that. I guess we're wondering: how has community played a role in your life, whether that's in danza or in the club that you're president of or in your academic community I guess as well, but what are those communities to you? Lorissa Saiz: So I will say, I think a lot of my colonizer mindsets, I guess, come from my schooling. Lorissa Saiz: Especially now learning what I have learned about history and stuff. Like say just Texas history, for example. Looking back on what I've learned in class about that history is so far removed from what I think is the actual truth. So I'll give you an example. In Texas history, you'll learn: oh, the Karankawas, the Apaches, the Comanches, oh yeah, they're extinct. They don't exist anymore. That's false. That is false information. So just thinking about, dude, our kids are learning this crap from the public school system makes me really angry now. And I think there's also maybe a sense of superiority that I felt before I really started thinking about, Hey, you don't know as much as you think. So I had to learn how to be humble real quick, and I had to learn how to just, yeah, maybe you have bachelor's, you're on your way to a PhD, but that doesn't mean that you know everything. Just because these elders don't have credentials and letters after their name, that doesn't mean that they don't know anything.

00:42:18.000 - 00:46:07.000

Lorissa Saiz: That doesn't mean that they don't have knowledge that you need. So that was one thing that I really had to unlearn, and that's one thing that I think academia as a whole needs to unlearn because traditional knowledge is important. In any field, but I'm in biology, and that's a really big one, especially when it comes to ecology and conservation and stuff like that. Why not listen to the people that have been the caretakers of this land for thousands of years? That just seems like a no brainer to me. So just kind of learning that I needed to unlearn some things was a big wake up call when I started this journey. But I think having the Danza community and having my SACNAS community has really helped because especially when you get to the PhD level, for example, I'm one of three Latinas that are domestic students – not international students– in a program of 120 people trying to get a PhD, and I'm the only one that identifies as indigenous. Lorissa Saiz: So having a community that is going to support you, even if the other people in Danza aren’t in academia, they're like, you're going to crush it. You got this, don't worry about it. You're smart, you got this, don't worry, kind of thing. And then with SACNAS, it's just we're open to everyone. So it's not just like, oh, you have to be indigenous or you have to be Chicano to be in here. It's like if you're looking for people to support you, you can be in here. Cause we’re about to go to bat for each other regardless of your background or regardless of how you grew up or where you came from or anything like that. So I think that's really important just to know that people have your back. That's been really helpful. There have been a lot of times where I'm just like, I could just stop right now. Lorissa Saiz: I don't even need to do this. But having people cheer you on, and I know a lot of people have been saying to me like, oh, it's so rare that we find an indigenous person or a Latina that's doing a PhD. I know some people that have done masters, but not a PhD. That's crazy. Someone called me a unicorn one time – I did an interview for something else and she called me a unicorn . I was like, this is crazy, but if I finish this, then maybe some kid is going to look at me and be like, whoa, if she can do that, I can do that too. So maybe it'll help. I can be a role model for other people to be like, you know what? I can do this too, if it's been done already. Alika Jimenez: Hearing about your academia has made me kind of curious, especially since you were saying you're one of three Latina domestic students, you're the only indigenous one. How has that experience been, being received by other Native people and non-Native people while you're in academia? Going through this journey of reconnection and also trying to get your PhD, has it been difficult? What type of treatment have you felt?

00:46:07.000 - 00:50:18.000

Lorissa Saiz: I think, I don't know if I'd call it a benefit, but I grew up basically in white academia. So I already know how to navigate that space. I don't need to figure out how to navigate that space. I've been here, I know what's going on already. It's the indigenous spaces that I'm having to figure out how to navigate. So I don't feel like I've faced discrimination or anything as far as academia is concerned because I've gotten where I needed to be regardless of anything else. So I'm really grateful that I haven't had to face any of that hatred or anything. But I think if you think about the fact I'm the only one too much, it becomes really isolating. So I try not to necessarily think about it as a bad thing, but as a good thing. How I was telling you guys, if I'm here and I'm holding space, then hopefully that means next year, the year after or five years from now, there's going to be two people or there's going to be people. Because, the kind of the work we do for SACNAS, and people have said this to me before. Lorissa Saiz: I think the way that we need to make these spaces more inclusive, make these spaces more diverse is to start people young. So if we're doing this work and we're going out into the community and showing people, “Hey, this is an option for you. You're smart enough, you're good enough to do this.” Then you put that seed, you plant that seed when they're really young, you're talking to elementary school kids or whatever, then later on those seeds are going to be growing. They're going to be like, “oh yeah, I'll pay attention more in science class. Maybe I can do this when I grow up.” Kind of thing. Instead of just assuming, “Oh, I'm going to clean houses, or I'm going to be in construction, or whatever they want us to do when we grow up, I can actually do something. Someone came to my school and told me that I'm enough and that I can do this.” Alika Jimenez: Hearing. You talk about talking to elementary schoolers and just opening your mind to other opportunities. How would you want to pass on the knowledge and experiences that you've gained? Because you've worked really hard to learn about all of this: kind of by yourself. How would you want to pass on what you've learned and also open experiences that; what is your idea of how this would work? Lorissa Saiz: Yeah, I mean, usually I try when new people join, there's a lot of people that join for the same exact reason that I did. They don't know nothing, and they want to reconnect. So I try my best to I'm, I'm not a teacher or nothing. I'm not an elder in any sense of the word. I don't know most things, but I try to share what I have learned and try to get people started. And then with SACNAS, I kind of take those teachings that I've learned from danza and from ceremony and share them with other people. Even if they're not indigenous, because just having that perspective I think is really important, and being able to make that space and have those teachings around, even if there's not an indigenous person around, that's really important. Because I know one thing that's been an issue that I've talked to other indigenous professionals about is if we're not in the room, no one's speaking for us.

00:50:18.000 - 00:53:48.000

Lorissa Saiz: People forget about indigenous people's needs and wants if we're not in the room screaming about it. And I think if you get people started thinking about it, then it's just like, okay, well, we can't be in every room. They're not letting us in every room. But if you have a white person that's an ally and you start teaching 'em about those perspectives and those things, and when they're in the room, they're going to be like, hold on, wait a second, maybe think about this kind of thing. So that's kind of how I'm trying to spread the knowledge and stuff too. Alika Jimenez: Sorry, give me a second. I'm processing what you said. Thank you for sharing with, you're talking about sharing your knowledge and experiences with allies so that you can hopefully more people who have more knowledge can broaden perspectives and people will be less, just more knowledge is more important. I'm kind of curious as to how your spaces with dan z a are. Is it very much like people from different tribes? As long as you're somewhat connected to indigeneity and you're just learning, it's open, and how is that experience? Lorissa Saiz: Yeah, I mean, even if you're not indigenous, there's white people in our group too, and as long as you have good intentions and stuff, usually Abuela is pretty open about teaching anyone. It was funny, actually, we have a girl that's Italian in our group, and it was so funny. It was before I joined, I think, but they were advocating for the removal of the Columbus statue and somewhere in Houston, and she was like, we got an Italian girl out here calling for the removal of this Columbus statue. So that's the kind of advocacy that you get if you're sharing this knowledge. And I think that's really important. Like, okay, if you have 10 indigenous people screaming at some representatives or senators or whatever, it's like, okay, well they have not ever listened to us. Why are they going to start listening to us? But if you have a white person yelling at them because they decided to broaden their perspectives and learn about indigenous ways, then that is different. Like, “Oh, this white person is saying something now.” So it shouldn't have to be like that, but sometimes that's the way it is. And I think if you're willing to share that knowledge and help people think about things in a different way, then it's positive for everyone. Alika Jimenez: That's a really good point. We're going to shift gears a little bit to talk about broader health and wellbeing. So if you're comfortable sharing, it's okay if you're not. Have you had any struggles with mental health through this experience and how is that being challenged by culture and identity and stuff like that? And again, if you don't feel comfortable sharing, we can just move on to another question.

00:53:48.000 - 00:57:05.000

Lorissa Saiz: Yeah, it's fine. I've struggled with mental health for quite a while. I think things really started getting bad when I was in high school, but I have a family history of mental health struggles as well. So my brother actually has OCD and he started showing much earlier. Something that I have learned is that biological females or people who are born female tend to mask better or tend to look at what everyone else is doing and be like, “Oh, hey, that's normal. I should do that kind of thing.” But males typically don't do that. So if there's something amiss, you're going to typically see it earlier in males than in females. So my brother started having problems when he was 14, and he's three years younger than me, and I was having problems too, but my parents were more focused on him because he was having a meltdown. Lorissa Saiz: So when I got into college, I had a really hard time transitioning from high school to college and something broke. So my mom took me to therapy and I started going to therapy, and I've gone to therapy pretty consistently since I was 18. So I did not, however, get properly diagnosed with anything until two years ago. So that was seven years of, they told me I had anxiety and depression and I was put on antidepressants and stuff like that, but it didn't really change anything. So I was actually talking to one of my therapists and describing my frustrations in describing what I was feeling, and she was like, “Have you ever thought about getting tested for ADHD?” And I was like, “A ctually, no, I've never thought about that before. Let me see if I can do that.” And I don't know if you guys know this, but it takes forever because there's a waitlist at every doctor. So I got on a waitlist and two months later I got tested and sure enough: I have ADHD. So they started me on stimulants and that helped. So here I am a couple years later, I'm still trying to make it work. So that has been extremely difficult. And I think out of my academic struggles, that's probably been the worst one is just figuring out that I had A DHD in the first place and then figuring out ways to work around it. Lorissa Saiz: But yeah, that's my mental health situation. Annesha Dey: Thank you so much for sharing that with us. I know that's kind of a difficult topic to talk about, but I think it's really helpful to see how people are able to cope with it and people go through the misdiagnosis and how challenging and confusing that whole period is. Did you say seven years that you were unsure?

00:56:59.000 - 01:01:08.000

Lorissa Saiz: Seven years, yeah. That's insane. But I can totally understand. That's super frustrating and I'm really glad that you were able to get a therapist that could give you the right diagnosis. But I'm just curious more about what that process looked like for you. Was it, did you visit multiple different therapists and then they were saying different things? Lorissa Saiz: Well, so I did not really, since I did not grow up indigenous. I know there's kind of an indigenous general distrust of the white man's medicine, so I didn't grow up with that. I went in pretty hopeful, and my first therapist was really good. My first psychiatrist sucked ass, so I did not feel comfortable going to her. And I didn't really have a choice in the matter because I was still on my parents' insurance and my parents were still kind of dictating what I was doing. So I gave up pretty quickly on the antidepressants. I was like, “I don't feel any different. My mom's saying that I am acting different, but I don't feel any different. I don't feel any better, so why the hell am I spending money on this and taking this?” So I gave up pretty quickly. I stuck it out with therapy and I stopped going to the psychiatrist. Lorissa Saiz: So I was doing cognitive behavioral therapy with my therapist and I had to switch therapists at some point. And it's also kind of hard to find a therapist that you click with someone who's actually going to understand what you're telling 'em and try to help you work through it. So I had some trouble finding a new therapist, but I found a new therapist that was the one that ended up telling me to get tested, and she ended up changing jobs. So it was right at the tail end that I was seeing her, that she told me to get tested. So I got tested and I had a new psychiatrist, and that was seven years between psychiatrists. So I found this new psychiatrist and I was like, wait, okay, these people know what they're doing. These people know what they're talking about. So I had a psychiatrist only for a while, and then a couple months after I started my meds, I found a new therapist and started working with her. Lorissa Saiz: And I think this has been really, you can't just have one or the other. Therapy by itself was okay for a while, but it wasn't fixing the problem until I had medication and therapy. So now I'm in a pretty good position where it's like I have my medication if I need to tweak it at all, increase the dose. Today, I just went to the psychiatrist and I was like, “Bro, this medication's not lasting as long as it needs to.” And she was like, “Okay, well you're on extended release now, but I can give you a little booster, immediate release tablet, and you can take it at 2:00 PM so that you can make it through the rest of the day.” And I'm like, “That sounds great, actually, let's do that.” So whenever I need, if I feel like something's not working, I can just say, “Hey, I'm having trouble with this, and then there's people there to guide me and help me figure out what I need to do. ”

01:01:08.000 - 01:04:20.000

Annesha Dey: Yeah, that totally makes sense. And thank you for recollecting back and taking us on that journey really helps to see of how you've gone to the place that you are. And I know that that summary statement doesn't really do justice to those long seven years. So I just want to say that's really inspiring that you were able to get to a place where you're so comfortable talking about it and things are better than they have been. For sure. Lorissa Saiz: I will say also that I'm a really strong proponent of the more you talk about it, the better it is because I think part of the problem is that people don't talk about it or they don't want to share. And I feel like if someone had talked to me about ADHD and what that actually was, I would've known or I would've suspected a lot sooner than I did. So one thing that I try to do with SACNAS is I am very open about my mental health situation. And I remember actually a couple years ago, we had some students that were visiting because they were thinking about to for graduate school, and I just put it out there, like, “Man, I need to go pick up my meds later today.” And someone asked me, “Oh, what meds? What do you mean? I'm like, oh, my ADHD meds.” Lorissa Saiz: And I had a conversation with that guy and he was like, Man, I have ADHD too. I've never heard someone so open about it and chill about it. ” And I'm like, Yeah, man. It's not like we're diseased or something.” It's not like someone's going to catch it if you talk about it, right? It's just a thing. It's just something that happens, something that's part of who we are. And he felt really good about that. And part of that I think influenced his decision to end up coming here because it's like, I can be cool about it. I don't need to hide it. I don't need to pretend that don't have a disability. It is a disability. I don't need to act like I don't have something going on. Annesha Dey: Yeah, I think that's totally a really good way of looking at it as not separating yourself from having A DHD, but kind of just taking it into yourself and as just a part of who you are and moving on from there. And I think that's a really good way to make it feel like less of an isolating experience for other people too. So thank you so much for sharing that with us. And I do have one question. So I know that you mentioned this could be redundant, in which case you can just let me know, but I know you mentioned you didn't originally have any, you didn't feel any type of way going into therapy about therapists being western medicine versus indigenous - based medicine and healing. And I was wondering if that was ever a consideration for you because, just because you mentioned that you were going through a period of time where you just didn't feel like you were getting better, if that's something you ever thought about exploring or maybe why you didn't. I'm just curious about that.

01:04:46.000 - 01:08:30.000

Lorissa Saiz: I think there's good doctors and bad doctors when it comes to western medicine and when it comes to indigenous medicine, there are quacks in both camps. And I think it's just trying to figure out who knows what they're doing and who doesn't know what they're doing. Because I've had terrible, terrible experiences with Western doctors. I haven't yet, fortunately, had a terrible experience with indigenous medicine men or women. But I do watch the news and I have seen that there are people with not great intentions that consider themselves medicine men or medicine women – mostly medicine men. But we'll leave that at that. Lorissa Saiz: So I think now I have a pretty good mind frame as far as, okay, well if there's something wrong with me, I just need to figure out what it is. And if this person can't help me, then I need to find a different person to help me. And the longer I wait, the worse it is. And I think with mental health specifically, it's been good to have a little bit of both because Abuela M’api is a big proponent of sweat lodges. And there was one time where it was actually when I applied to graduate school – I really wanted to go to Baylor College of Medicine, and I got rejected twice from Baylor College of Medicine. So I was really, really, really not in a good mindset after I got that rejection. So I did go to therapy about it. I did all of that, but I also went in the sweat lodge about it. Lorissa Saiz: And how it is, is that your ancestors come in with you and you're praying in there, you're taking care of yourself in there, and everyone else is also taking care of themselves. But Abuela M’api was doctoring someone else in there that was having some troubles with her life. But she came and she asked me, do you want me to doctor you? And I was like, alright, got nothing to lose in here. So she was kind of like, they tap feathers on you while you're in there. S he was doctoring me, and she was like, “Ancestors, tell your daughter that she's enough. Let her know that she's good enough and that she's doing great things out here and stuff like that.” And I had never in my life shared that I was feeling that way. So it was just like, “Whoa, my ancestors are telling her right now that that's how I'm feeling and that this is what I need to hear kind - of - thing. ” So that was really powerful. I definitely, I went in feeling like garbage and I came out feeling really, really good. So I am a proponent of both types of healing. Annesha Dey: That sounds like a really impactful experience, and that's really interesting to hear about your utilization of both as needed and being open-minded to trying different kinds of therapeutic practices. And I think it's really cool that you've been able to find a balance between traditional indigenous practices and westernized healthcare. And kind of–

01:08:30.000 - 01:10:39.000

Lorissa Saiz: I will say too, there's not necessarily a distinction between the two. So for example, if you take aspirin, where does that come from? It comes from willow bark. That's indigenous medicine. Western medicine utilizes indigenous medicine. So the line between the two isn't necessarily as hard as people like to think. Annesha Dey: Yeah, that's a very good clarification actually. Thank you for saying that. Alika Jimenez: Yeah, that was actually a really interesting point. A few of the other people we've spoken to have raised that about how there are plants growing around us that just get commodified and then sold. I don't know if you have thoughts about how there's kind of a commercialization of things that you can get in nature through healthcare or not really. Lorissa Saiz: Yeah, I mean, I definitely have a problem with the US healthcare system. I think it's great that we're able to, for aspirin for example, we're able to have an easy way to get that medication to people. That's awesome. I think that's awesome. I think the way that pharmaceutical companies and stuff have made it to where “You will pay exorbitant prices for this or die ” is a problem. So if we can get it where it's like, yeah, we're growing these plants, we're making them into pills, and people are able to get easy access to them without going broke, that would be amazing. I don't think that there's any problem with, maybe it's controversial, but I don't think there's any problem with commodifying things as far as making it easily accessible to people who need them. But making billions of profit off of it is where I have a big, big problem.

01:10:39.000 - 01:14:50.000

Alika Jimenez: Yeah. I think you raise a really good point there, and I just thought it'd be interesting to talk to you and get your thoughts on that. Kind of around nature and how that affects your wellbeing. Are you able to find ways to spend time in nature in your daily life, and would you say that's an important part of your health or your happiness? How does that play into your life? Lorissa Saiz: Yeah, I think being outside is really important to me. It's become more important I think after I went to Galapagos, the first time, just because I feel more at peace outside. I love the phrase “touch grass.” So true. Sometimes you just need to unplug yourself and go outside and realize how beautiful the world is. And I think we doom scroll and we think about all the negative things that are happening in the world, and it's really easy to get caught up in it, but it's also really easy to put it down and go outside. And I think appreciating the other life that's around us, like the plants, the bugs, like the birds, birds especially. I had a professor that was really into birding. He's actually on my thesis committee, and he loves birds, and he instilled that love of birds in me. So I'm an avid bird watcher now, and I'm always like, if I'm driving and I see a bird, I'm like, “Oh my God,” fixing to crash. Lorissa Saiz: “What bird was that,” kind - of - thing. So I think just the scientific mind being like, “Oh, that's this species, this genus, that species.” And I have friends that do that with plants as well. Like, oh, this is these plants. And I think on the one hand it's like, yes, that's very western science, but on the other hand it gets you to appreciate the plants and the animals and stuff that are around you and out there. And that's kind of how I learned to start really going into nature and really respecting nature is, I don't know if you guys know about the book Braiding Sweetgrass. It's a book by Dr. Robin Wall Kimmerer who is an indigenous ecologist and it's really good. And one of the things that she kind of points out is that as indigenous people, we think of plants and animals as relatives. Lorissa Saiz: In science, they kind of think about it as lesser than in the hierarchy of whatever, lesser than humans. But the indigenous perspective is to think of them as relatives. That's our brother, that's our sister, that's our cousin type of thing. Oh, you hear there's an indigenous influencer, his name's Che Jim, he's Diné and you'll always see his videos and he is like, “Aho! Brother deer!!!” B ut it's true. That's your relative. So now when I go out I'm like, oh, that's this bird, but that's my relative right there. That's my cousin right there. So I think… I love hiking. That's usually how I get out there. And I think also, so that's kind of how western sciences influences me : going outside has been just like, oh, I really found that during research, I like being in the field, so I'll go outside instead of just being in the lab all day. Unfortunately, I haven't gotten there yet because I work in the lab right now. But in the future I really hope that I can do partially lab work, partially field work.

01:14:50.000 - 01:17:42.000

Lorissa Saiz: And then as far as danza is concerned, usually we're outside when we're doing ceremonies and stuff like that. And when Abuela was teaching me how to carry fire, you have to go to the roots of a tree. You stand under a tree, you get on your knees and you're there with the tree and the roots, and that's where you let your fire. And it's very, you have to concentrate. You're not thinking about all this other stuff. You're thinking about where you are, you're thinking about what you're doing and kind of centering yourself. And I think that's really important as well, is just when you're outside you have to feel like this appreciation. You're not just outside, you're among relatives, you're a part of something bigger. Alika Jimenez: Yeah, I mean it's nice to hear that you're able to enjoy the outside. Even in Houston, I know it can be kind of oppressive here half of the time with the weather. Lorissa Saiz: There's good, I think out of a lot of the places that I've been. Houston is a great place if you want to go to state parks and stuff like that because a lot of state parks very close. And I think if you go to Memorial Park or if you go to the Houston Arboretum , there's places where they're protecting nature, where they're preserving it within Houston. And I think that's also really important. I think one of the places that we've done ceremony is Antonio Marron Park on East Side. And it's like when you think of East Side, you're like, oh, trains and industry and pollution in the air and stuff like that. But we went down to the bayou and we were just honoring the water and stuff like that in the middle of downtown Houston. And I think that's something important to keep in mind as well. It's like there is nature here. We're not protecting it as well as we could be and we need to honor it and we need to acknowledge that it's still here even though we've built around it. Alika Jimenez: Yeah, I think that's a good point. Even though we're in Houston, such a big city, there's still natural spaces that we need to continue to protect and appreciate as long as we can have'em. Kind of connected to this, but more on spirituality, if that's something that plays a role in your life, could you tell us a little bit about that, if that's something that you partake in any way?

01:17:42.000 - 01:21:34.000

Lorissa Saiz: Yeah, so like I mentioned before, my family's very Catholic and I'm not. So, I feel like I've kind of grown up with some religious trauma because it was just like, “Oh, this is how it is. Don't ask questions.” And that science part of my brain was always like, but why though? How? And I never got answers for those questions. So I remember when I was in high school, so when you're around 15 or 16 and you're Catholic, you get your confirmation. And I remember I was like, I don't want to do this man. And my mom was like, “Okay, I'll make you a deal if you get confirmed and you just don't want to do this anymore, you never have to come to church with this again after this.” And I was like, “Bet.” so I did it. I got conferred and I was like,. Lorissa Saiz: “I'm never showing up to church again.” And I think that really made my parents and my grandma really upset. I don't think they thought I was serious and they would try to bribe me to come. It kind of sucked. It was like my family would go out to dinner after church on Saturday. My parents started saying, well, if you don't come to church with us, then you're not coming to dinner with us either. Not only would I be making the decision to not go do something that I didn't believe in, but in doing so I would also be sacrificing time with my family. And that was a sucky decision to make. But I was like, I'm not doing this. I need to show you guys that I'm serious that I'm not doing this. So for several years after that, they would go to church and they would go to dinner and I'd be by myself at home. So that kind of, I think Christians, Catholics, generally Christians, weaponize their faith a lot. Lorissa Saiz: And we are seeing this in politics now too. This is how it's supposed to be and everyone else is wrong. Not every Christian, but quite a few of them. So I was really turned off to all spirituality and stuff for a long time. I don't know if I've believed in a God or creator or anything like that. I do believe in afterlife, kind of. I do believe that my ancestors are here for me and I do believe they're watching over me and they're here for me when I need them. So if I need help or advice or comfort or anything like that, I can ask my ancestors about it. Again, I don't know if I subscribe to the idea of God or creator or anything like that, but I do believe that my ancestors are here for me. Alika Jimenez: That sounds really isolating, that process of just trying to choose what makes more sense for you and then having to sacrifice other family time in the process. I'm sorry about that. Were you able to connect to other people in your life or other community during that time where you were kind of choosing to not be a part of the Catholic part of your life?

01:21:34.000 - 01:25:44.000

Lorissa Saiz: I think that was in high school and just generally, high school was a pretty isolating time in my life. Not a fan of high school, not a fan of public school. So I guess the long and short of it is no, that was a really dark time in my life and I didn't really have a ton of people to go to. But I'm here still, and I'm on good terms with my family still. So it didn't demolish my relationship with my family. And they've come to accept maybe not my grandma, she's always like, “You're going to come back, you're going to come back.” I'm like, “Yeah, grandma, you keep thinking that.” If that makes you feel better, go ahead and keep thinking that. But all that matters is we're hanging out, we're cool. There have been times where she's like, “Oh, I have this thing for church. Can you help me carry stuff?” Or whatever. And I'm like, “Yeah, sure grandma, I got you.” But I'm not going to sit in mass or anything like that. And my partner right now, she'll try to get him to come to Mass and stuff like that. And he's like, “Yeah, sure, I'll come to mass.” He's not Christian either. He's like, “Yeah, yeah, sure, I'll come.” And then she'll be like, “Well, why is he going to come and you won't come?” And I'm like, “He doesn't have religious trauma. And I do.” Lorissa Saiz: He can come whenever he wants, but he'll be going by himself. I'm not going. Alika Jimenez: That's totally fair. I think that was the last concrete question that we had for you, but if there's anything else that you want to talk about that we didn't bring up, this is your time. Lorissa Saiz: I think since we're talking about Texas specifically, it was funny because one person in our group is Lakota, and he said one time, “Man down here even know that y'all are Native. At least on the rez, we know that we're Native, but y'all don't even know that y'all are Native down here. ” And that's really true. And I think there have been so many labels thrust upon brown people in Texas that we have an identity crisis and it really sucks. But I think it is hard to try to reconnect, but it's really worth it in my opinion. And if someone's looking to do it, I think they should just put theirself out there and do it. And we don't have to be in one category. There's no reason for me to say I'm just Mexican or I'm just American. This is all part of who I am. And just because of colonization and everything, there's no one who's a hundred percent native and there's no one who's a hundred percent white. So just kind of, acknowledging that and honoring the past, learning from the past and moving forward in this world that we have now where no one's just one thing I think is really important. I just don't think that there has to be one label.

01:25:44.000 - 01:29:24.000

Annesha Dey: Yeah, that's a really good way of thinking about it and navigating some of these really complicated identity challenges that you face, and a lot of people in Texas today are facing. So I think it's really great that you're bringing really direct attention to it in real history. I guess the last final question I have is kind of building off of everything you're just saying, but more directly speaking. If you could give yourself maybe 10 years ago or whenever you were in high school, whenever you were at your lowest point of navigating your own identity and the pressures that come with family and from different people in your life and the pressure to fit into a category –w hat advice would you give yourself and to people that could be listening to this that could probably feel similarly in some way or be going through something similar, what advice would you give to them as a final thing to leave us with today? Lorissa Saiz: I think there's two advice. So the first one I think would be: Don't put so much weight on people's opinions and people's thoughts. There's a saying : “Don't take advice from someone that's not living the way that you want to be living.” Lorissa Saiz: So if you have people that are like, “That's what I want to be,” then it's like, okay, maybe you can listen to advice from them. But if it's someone who's not living the way that you want to be living, it's like, why are you even listening to that person? Why are you taking opinions from people that don't even matter? In the grand scheme of things, when you're in high school, it's like you care about what everyone thinks about you. And it's like 90% of these people, 95% of these people you're never going to see again after you graduate. So why are you paying so much attention to what they think about you? It's useless. And then someone gave a general piece of advice to us the other day: be selfish. Put yourself first. And that's something that Abuela taught, teaches us as well. You think you have to take care of yourself first, then you take care of your family, then you can take care of your community. Lorissa Saiz: If you're not where you need to be, if you're not where you need to be physically, mentally, then you're not going to be able to take care of your family. And if your family is not where you need to be, then you can't put that love out into the community. So I think it all starts with yourself. So if you're not where you need to be, then you can't spread that. You can't benefit everyone around you if you're not where you need to be selfish, take care of yourself. Figure out what it is that you need to do for yourself, whether that's therapy, whether that's getting in the sweat lodge, whether that's taking fewer classes or changing your major or dropping out of college altogether because that's just not where you need to be. It is what it is. Don't do something because you think someone else thinks it's good for you, do what you think is good for you.

01:29:24.000 - 01:29:58.000

Alika Jimenez: Thank you so much for sharing that. That was very valuable. And since this will, with your consent we uploaded, I hope that everybody retains that knowledge and advice, but we're going to stop the recording unless you have anything else to add and then we can go over next steps. Does that sound good? Alright. Annesha, is it over? I don't have control. Annesha Dey: Yes.