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Hi, today is January 30, 2021. My name is Emily Ma, and I'm here with Pat Lindsay Catalla-Buscaino for the Houston American Archives at Rice, Houston Asian American Archive at Rice.

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To start, where and when were you born? I was born in Los Angeles, California, and I was born in the year of 1984. Nice. And do you have any siblings?

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Yes, I have one sibling. She's younger than me. And how would you describe the household that you grew up in? I grew up in a four-person household.

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It was my mother, my father, me, and then my sister. Awesome. And how would you describe the neighborhood that you grew up in? Hmm. The neighborhood I grew up in was…I–I wouldn't quite

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say—it was in the city of Los Angeles, obviously, right? But it wasn't–it wasn't in like downtown, per se, it was more of like an urban area.

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And the–the best part of my neighborhood was that we lived on the same street as most of my family members, different houses, like let's say across the street, down the street,

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you know, in the same complex. And yeah, so it was a very tight knit community on that street, which was my neighborhood, my community. And specifically, the area that most people

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know this area in is like Culver City area. And it was really before it became gentrified . It was–it was, you know, it still is very diverse neighborhood. Awesome.

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So kind of going off of that, like, how would you describe the demographic of like where you grew up? Mhm. Besides the fact that my entire family and extended family lived there, we were all Filipinos, there were several other Filipino families living on the block, and then there

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were also Latino or Latinx houses, even like I–I remember one apartment complex that had at least 30 tenants in there, and a good majority were Latinx.

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I know there were a couple of African Americans, some other AAPI’s, like a Japanese, you know, family, and then some white families as well. So it's kind of mixed housing on the street, there were houses, there were, you know, apartments, there

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were—or like small apartments, and then large apartments, so single story homes, two story homes. So it—there was different types of people living on that particular street throughout the

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80’s, even before the 80’s. My complex, the apartment that we lived in, was built in the 40’s. That’s really cool, it's pretty old, yeah.

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Could you maybe describe some favorite memories of your childhood? Yes. So my fa—I guess my favorite m-memories growing up are the fact that we spent a lot of time

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with our extended and—extended family or relatives, mostly on my paternal side, and we would always celebrate like anything and everything, from birthdays to holidays, and we would go to each other's

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homes, you know, specifically my matriarchal aunt, to her home, and everyone would potluck and we would eat, all the holidays. Beyond even that street, we had other like extended relatives who

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lived like on another street or another part of, I guess, the neighborhood or the town. And my most favorite memories growing up was during Christmastime, because there was a slew of

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birthdays, specifically my own sibling. Her birthday was on December 24th. But we also on top of that would celebrate as a whole Filipino family and we would, we put on a, essentially

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a holiday musical production on those days for nearly 10 years. So I grew up from like the age of, I don't know, like five, or even less than that, probably four or five

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years old, all the way until I was in high school. And each of our families would be its own, like theater troupe. And we would perform and compete against each other. And there was about five families and

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then other relatives and family members and friends would come over and watch, and they would be our audience. We would also have judges . And the judges were usually friends who were not Filipino

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. So–so they would be like, you know, would either be my cousin’s boyfriend, or their co-workers, many of them were non-Filipino, and so we'd have like, an unbiased perspective. And so at the end of it, there was different awards, like who had the best show, who had the best

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costumes, the best music. So my holiday Christmases, and you know, that goes into New Year's, my parents had an anniver—their–their wedding anniversary is on New Year's Eve.

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So you can imagine that Christmas into New Year's Eve, New Year's Day, like was all just, you know, family parties and gatherings and leftovers. So I had a very happy childhood doing

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that. That sounds like an awesome stretch of time, just like complete fun . Yes, yes. And let me add before that, we are also very Catholic. So in the Filipino Catholic faith, they have something called Simbang Gabi, where you do a nine day,

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essentially like a nine day mass leading up to Christmas, and my family would sing in that. So, you know, singing and music and performing were a huge part of the entire Christmas holiday season.

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And so you're making me realize that now as I'm talking . That’s great. So kind of similar to that, what were some values that your parents emphasized in your upbringing?

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Well, education was of utmost importance. And that was seen through the way my parents put us through private school, specifically Catholic private school our entire life. And they have to pay, you

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know, to put us through school. And I believe at this point, for me and my sibling, we—it's–it's been a guiding North Star, you know, for our lives.

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Hence, I think, probably encouraging me, motivating me to get my doctorates degree, you know, to this point. So education is one, and the other thing is also like in the Filipino culture, you know, respecting the

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culture and respecting the elders is kind of synonymous, right? So, you know, following and abiding by, I guess, Filipino traditions or Filipino ways. That's probably another important thing.

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And I think that's how me–me and my sibling are able to understand and, for the most part, speak the language. Not necessarily 100% fluent, but definitely we–we can do better than most

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children who are born here in America, ‘cause we're born here in America. And most Filipino-American children don't really speak or even understand the language.

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So I think that was evident, you know, with me and my sisters growing up. Yeah, that's awesome. And kind of going off of education, so let's talk a bit about like your education growing up, so where did you attend elementary school?

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And what was that like? So I–I mentioned to you, I—we went to a private Catholic school starting when I was in pre-K, kindergarten. And I went through all of that through—all the way up to eighth grade. It was a diverse

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community now that I think about it, growing up, I was so blessed and so privileged at the same time, to have many Filipino-American classmates. So I grew up not only in a neighborhood full of my family, but

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I also grew up in essentially a cohort from kindergarten all the way through eighth grade of Filipino-American kids. There's of course other kids in the class too, you know, that were Latino, Latinx, Black, white,

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etc, so there–there were different folks in–in the school, and I was a very active child growing up. I was very quiet in the first years up until I reached like, fifth and sixth grade when they started encouraging

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extracurricular activities. I wasn't into sports, unfortunately . I tried it, wasn't too great at it. I was more of a musical theater,

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choir singing kid, and so yeah, I was very active in that, I was–I was very academic as well, in the Academic Decathlon, and I won some speech impromptu competitions, and that

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kind of really projected my future into speaking. It started at that age. Awesome. And could you talk about like, any, like specific jobs or extracurriculars that you

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participated in, maybe during high school or middle school? Okay, so in high—yeah, in high school, I also went to private Catholic school as well, it was, it was an all-girls school.

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And there, I really flourished in terms of my identity, especially as a feminist. I think that really, that was part of solidifying all the way into college. And I was even more active in high

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school than I think I was in–in grade school. I was very religious and spiritual at that time as a youth. And as well as I wanted to be in some leadership positions, so, you know, there was one year I

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was in Student Council, as I think I was—yeah I was the vice president, I think of our sophomore year. And then the following consecutive years, I became the president of the liturgy club, which was focused on like, creating the mass and the, you know, when we would have mass

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and church at the coll—at the school, I would do that. I was also part of the choir growing up in high school, just like I was in grade school and in my Filipino community.

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And then the most memorable things that I did in high school in terms of my activities was being in the school plays. Because I had a talent and a knack for singing, I always got some kind of singing

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part that would lead me to my senior year, and I got the leading role my senior year, of that play, or that musical. And yeah, I–I loved that—I loved being in those musicals, in those

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theater productions, and just being an overall good student . And perhaps, as I think back, perpetuating a lot of model minority

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stereotypes. I was kind of hard on myself as I think about it, because I felt like I had to, I had to behave or appear a certain way, I had to be the best at everything I could possibly

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be, and be focused on school and, and not really be focused on let's say, boys . That was something my parents also like really, you know, told us, like focus on school, you know, boys can come later on

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in life, you know, after your college is what they said, after college you can deal with that. So, yeah, so that really propelled me to be an active student leader, and I gained a lot of confidence, you

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know, through that. And my cla—yeah, and my classmates also, I was also privileged, again, to be surrounded by other Filipino-Americans or other, other

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Filipino-Americans, as well as I started having classmates who were of different ethnicities in the Asian-American community, like Korean, Vietnamese, you know, Japanese. I didn't, I honestly didn't

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even know that existed until I went to high school. So yeah. Awesome, that sounds like a really good community to like, immerse yourself in, yeah. Um, so. Yes, yeah. It was good. It was a–it was a privileged school.

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The other thing about my high school is it—there was a lot of wealthy children. And I didn't come from wealth. I mentioned to you we lived in

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apartments, specifically a one-bedroom apartment. I didn't have—we didn't have our own bedroom, we don't have our own room. And so there was a huge disparity, a stark contrast of

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where I lived, and where I went to school. And so my parents, you know, paid for us to have this privilege.

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You know, we could have–we could have gone to public school, we could have, you know, just went that route, but they wanted to give us the best, at least in their eyes. Yeah, that’s really meaningful.

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And it's–it's good that you were able to like attain this education. That's really good. So, I want to move on to college, but before that, can we talk a bit about your parents? So do you know when your parents immigrated to the US and what motivated them to do

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so? Yes, so my parents immigrated separately, they didn’t meet each other in the Philippines. They met actually here in the United States. They separately, you know, immigrated here in

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the late 70’s. So between like 1978, 1979-ish, you know, it is post martial law in the Philippines at this point.

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And it's like just the beginning of the 80’s is when they got here. And for my–for my paternal side, it was through the matriarchal sister that immigrated here first,

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and established herself for probably, you know, half a decade to about a decade beforehand, working here in America and then starting to petition my grandparents, my paternal grandparents, and then my father, you know, here

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to–to the—to America, specifically to Los Angeles, California. And then on my mother's side, same sa—almost identical. Her—one of her matriarchal sisters

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immigrating here to America, working first in the Midwest, and then moving down here to the South, in Texas and raising a family, and then petitioning my grand—you know my maternal grandfather and then

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even my mother from there and coming out here. And so that's, they're—both my parents’ lives were happening in parallel through immigration, but they didn't actually meet each other until my mother

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traveled to California for a vacation. Awesome. And have your parents told you about experiencing challenges when they arrived? Like any spe-specific instances of cultural shock or discrimination? Yes, there are a couple

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that kind of come up in my head, I think it's, it was definitely, it's definitely a cultural shock, you know, for–for–for both of them. Like in terms of the food, my parents never understood at that a—like at that time, my dad, I remember him saying, like, you know,

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before, he didn't understand all the different types of diverse foods, like let's say Mexican food and burritos or, you know, how big the, the french fries were at McDonald's,

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or for my mom, it was like, you know, not realizing that the microwave wasn't a TV, it was something to heat up food, you know? So there was different things, like different cultural shocks, I think for them, but because they had siblings

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and family here that helped them acclimate to the situation. I also know that, you know, my, both of my parents experienced some type of discrimination, they've experienced also violence, you know, you

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know, crime, I guess. My mom, you know, when she was working—we were already here, we were already born, she experienced, you know, essentially a robbery. I mean, a–a—somebody tried to steal from her

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and her coworker, and they succeeded. And that, you know, that's very traumatizing. You know, for my father, I remember a young—when I, we were very young, and Burger King still had a salad bar at—and

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we loved salad, my dad loves salad bars. And so there were these two white boys who saw my father. And you know, Cul—you know, the area we lived was kind of predominantly white, at least the main parts

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of–of the area, were still very white. And so those two little white boys started throwing tissue paper on my dad's plate. My dad's a little more heavyset, he's obviously Brown. So, you know, I didn't know at that

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time what that meant, but I think back now, and I realized that was discrimination or racism, you know, on my dad, and probably on my family. So they experienced that even at work.

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You know, a lot of the times in the work that my dad did, as a–as a blue collar machinist or construction worker, sometimes there were, some of the ethnicities were pitted up against each other and would have arguments and fights.

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And so I knew things of that would happen for my parents, and I know it's a struggle, especially being paid. My mom said, you know, starting off being paid like $2, $3 an hour, you know, although, yes,

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inflation is now more, but back then, I mean, that's, that was not very much. And my parents were both college graduates. So, you know, there was definitely, you

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know, they see you differently, you know, when you work here coming from your–your home country. Yeah, that sounds, that sounds really tough, but I–I think it's also impressive that they were able to get through that, and hopefully things have improved a

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bit. So moving back to you, could you describe like what subjects you were interested in studying during college? Yes. Okay. So like getting to college, I–I wa—I did have a guidance counselor at

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the high school I was going to, but I didn't really have much guidance per se at home with my parents. Like, they didn't know like, okay, what—how to apply, and you need to do your SAT’s, like, they weren't helicopter or

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tiger parents in any sense. They just, you know, relegated all of that to the high school. I mean, they were paying a lot for the high school, so the high school better be telling you and teaching you what you need

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to do. And so, in hi—in high school, I had decided, you know, or not even just high school, when I was young, I said I want to be a doctor. And that was kind of my goal ever since like, I think I was like, in

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third grade, I was like, I'm gonna be a doctor. And that was kind of said throughout all this. I had no reason why I wanted to be a doctor , I had not really an interest in science, even in grade school.

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In high school, you know, I made it a little more serious, and I–I really enjoyed biology when I took it, you know, with the teacher that I had, God bless her, she passed away from cancer already. But you know,

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that was–that was a good class, I really enjoyed that. I enjoyed my English and literature classes. I look back now, those were definitely my strong points, because I did well in my AP, when I took AP English

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and literature, as well as when you take the AP exams, you know, I was able to pass the English portion so that when I went to college, you didn't have to take it at least the first semester. So writing, I mean, I

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didn't really enjoy reading too much, but I read a lot in–in–in high school. So I realized that those were–those were good subjects for me. I was always more of an artist, now that I think back, you know, I

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liked of course, you know, anything that was artsy, anything that was performing, singing, musical. The sciences were tough. Even though I did my best, I–I rarely got bad grades per se

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in high school. Math was my toughest. And it was , I think even through–through college, but I had to work my way through–through that. So I guess I assumed at that point that science was going to be my major into

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college. But even then, I wasn't quite sure. Because when I filled out my applications for college, I didn't, like for—there's like one

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master application for, like, this university system where I went to–to college. And like for some of those colleges that I picked up, I chose different colleges at the university that were not

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necessarily STEM related. Because I didn't know that there was, you know, the College of Humanities and Social Science. So I thought, oh, there's science and social science, so that okay, maybe this is where I need to be. So I

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would check it. So the college I ended up going to, I was actually misplaced during orientation in the wrong major, I guess you could say. And I was like, I–I need to study biology.

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Why am I here, and they're making me sign up for, for like, anth—you know–you know, anthropology or something, like I don't even know what that is. So I was like, I think I'm in the wrong section.

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So then they sent me to, to the science area. But even then, the first year, I was undecided. Undecided like I didn't have a major decided, I guess. But I knew I wanted to be a doctor, a medical doctor, only because of this, going

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back to that model minority stereotype, I felt like I had this pressure as either maybe as the eldest or to always be the best, and saw being a doctor as the career that was the best, specifically medical doctor.

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And, but honestly, I really should have been a humanities major. Because I ended up, I ended up first being a biological science medical track major, and then I decided last

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minute to change into biology because I really didn't want to take the genetics class, I wanted to take a, like a nice easy last semester as a senior, and I decided to take other fun stuff like an Asian American class, and a costume

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construction class, and then finish off like another, like a poli- class or something like that. I also ended up minoring in Women's Studies, as well, kind of like you, like to show, to show a little bit

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more of my like diverse background if I were to apply to medical school. Like, I'm not only just like, into science, I'm also into some of the humanities. But I ended up actually really enjoying Women's Studies.

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And I think that kind of really solidified a lot of like my, I guess a lot of the thoughts that I have. So that's kind of what I enjoyed, I think, in high school.

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I went right into college, I didn't even realize. That's totally fine. Yeah, kind of going off of that, for many people college is like the time when they're inspired to choose a path for their future that they hadn't necessarily

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considered earlier in life. When would you say, like, was the point when you first began to maybe consider going into Filipino history and culture? Did that happen in college or maybe later?

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That is such a great question. So that moment happened in college. So as I was in college, you know, there's kind of a little bit of an identity crisis, changing from high school

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into college, I think that goes for any student. And in college, I decided my first year, because my parents, my mom, and my aunt had said, like, don't get active in school, focus on your classes in college, ‘cause it's

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hard. So my first year in college as a freshman, I wasn't involved in anything. I eventually became involved in like the latter half of the year in one thing.

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But I think that was not good. Because I was a student who always came from like being in extracurricular activities, doing something, being a leader in something. And so the year after, my

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sophomore year in college, I decided, no, I want to be more involved, I want to be more active. And during the college fair, you know, that they have every year at the beginning of the school year, I was

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walking around with my friends. And then there was this one Asian-American boy who turned out to be Filipino. And he said, “Hey, come to my meeting.” You know, it’s something about youth.

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I was like, okay, so I just, you know, you just write your name down on all of these, you know, student clubs. And this person ended up emailing me and saying, like, come to our YCOP meeting.

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And I was like, YCOP? Because they’re police? Like what is happening at this event? So I go, and the meeting is in the Asian Pacific Student Programs department, they had an actual, you

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know, office space and like–like a common area room. And I went to this meeting not knowing even what was happening. It turned out YCOP— standed for Youth and Community Outreach Program. And that was my first kind of like, take on organizing

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amongst Asian or AAPI students, and specifically, that program outreached to high school students who are AAPI in the local area. And so we would go into the

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high schools, and essentially host Rap sessions, which were just like workshops, or little seminars, or little activities, to help the different high school Asian-American clubs to understand their own AAPI identity.

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So that was–that was amazing. And I spent the next couple of years, you know, after my sophomore year, being an APSP student leader or coordinator twice, for a—and I ended up being the student coordinator,

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along with other college students, as the coordinator for two years. So I ended up enjoying that, you know, we would host—we essentially, as college students, create the program. And, you know, and put it

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on, and it was on the weekends, and it would be different topics about being AAPI. And so that really, I guess, woke me, woke up my AAPI consciousness of the things that we are facing. ‘Cause my entire life, I felt like I didn't know what the word privilege was at that

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age. But I felt like I lived a very protected and sheltered life, that I didn't really feel like I went through anything hard in comparison to I guess my other classmates.

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But that was me thinking at that point, because I didn't understand, I had no concept of privilege. But I look back now and think I had a lot of struggles growing up, because we came from such a stark, like, economic background in

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comparison to my classmates that I went to, you know, unfor—you know, the–the white rich students that went to school, and so I didn't even know that–that was the difference.

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So I started kind of realizing more I guess in college, you know, who I was, who I am, and really spending more of my Asian-American identity than my Filipino-American identity. I also got involved a little bit more in

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student, student life, they call it student life, or being part of the–the summer orientations that you would host. I'd be into that, I was in like other clubs as well. And I was

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playing more music because the Asian American mentors I had inside APSP, they played the guitar, so I played the guitar and the piano, and I would sing. So it was, you know, I felt a sense of belonging in

00:30:27.660 - 00:30:44.940

college. And I also, once I get in college, I was—it was a little complicated, I was and I didn't also feel like I was part of the Filipino-American student association that was there. There was, there was one

00:30:44.940 - 00:30:59.520

there, and I had friends who were in it, and I was kind of in it I felt, I ended up being also in a lead role in the PCN, they call it Filipino, Pilipino Cultural Night, PCN, and those are huge in the West Coast.

00:31:00.390 - 00:31:14.910

It's like, it's akin to like GoodPhil Games here for Filipino-American Texans. And I was in the lea—I was a lead role again, in that production, and that continued to solidify,

00:31:14.930 - 00:31:26.980

like, you know, my developing my identity being Filipino. So I was really lucky, ‘cause the university I went to was like, over 50% Asian American Pacific Islander,

00:31:26.980 - 00:31:39.870

I would say maybe even like, 60%, 40—between 40 to 60%, you know? Most colleges out here in Texas, you'll be lucky to even have a 10% you know, Asian American, you know, population demographic.

00:31:39.870 - 00:31:52.190

So, I had that tie my entire life. And then coming, you know, here, which we'll talk about I'm sure, you know, to Texas, that really was a shock

00:31:53.130 - 00:32:07.830

to me, I guess that's when I started realizing, oh, not everyone is all Filipino or Asian. I had to like, reconcile that. Mhm, yeah, it sounds–it sounds like college was like a time where you began to like,

00:32:07.830 - 00:32:22.990

em—almost embrace your iden-identity I guess, and find your own path, so that’s really awesome. One last thing is, as a science student, I did all the checkboxes that you needed as a science student to try to get to medical school.

00:32:23.710 - 00:32:38.110

I even had clinicals with my then best friend, who's now my husband, we–we would go to clinicals, we would–we would do all the things you needed on paper to look like a good science STEM student to go to medical school.

00:32:39.580 - 00:32:51.350

The–the only problem was, the science classes were so hard for me. And it was, it's not that I didn't study, but the material was just so hard to understand.

00:32:51.880 - 00:33:07.130

And you don't really hone into your study skills until maybe like you’re a senior, really. So by the time you're a senior, you're finally know like your study skills, and you're like, oh, so this is how hard I have to study. So throughout my sophomore, and junior, and even

00:33:07.130 - 00:33:19.760

through my senior year, it was really hard to be a science student. And I, I really didn't, I-I thought I really wanted to be a biology student. But I didn’t. It

00:33:19.830 - 00:33:33.150

really wasn't meant for me. I tried my hardest, but as I was enjoying—like, the other things were coming so much easier, being a student leader, you know, doing Asian American Pacific Islander programming,

00:33:33.380 - 00:33:47.750

and writing, humanities, performing. Those were my strengths and my forte. And if I, you know, could go back, I would probably tell myself, maybe you should switch majors, you know, and like, maybe

00:33:47.750 - 00:33:57.890

focus on, you know, we had ethnic studies at our university, you know? And we had top leading researchers focused on ethnic studies, focused on Asian-American studies.

00:33:58.420 - 00:34:12.730

I–I could have easily majored in those, and probably should have, but I don't really regret it, ‘cause I'm here, and I got to where I needed to be. And, you know, science is still very important, and it really opened my eyes to everything.

00:34:16.310 - 00:34:30.090

But it wasn't, it–it, I was doing a lot of robotic steps—actually wait, model minority, even though at that age in college, I started, I was told about model minority and I knew what it was, but I didn't realize that I was in

00:34:30.090 - 00:34:41.110

myself internalizing it, as I was in college. Yeah I think–I think that's definitely very relatable, yeah. Especially like in the Asian-American

00:34:41.110 - 00:34:55.900

community, like following that model–model minority, like, path. Are there any like professors or mentors that left a lasting impact on your life during college? You don't necessarily have to say any

00:34:55.900 - 00:35:07.500

names, but just like— Yes, absolutely. And a lot of them were Asian American Pacific Islander. When I was in my

00:35:07.500 - 00:35:21.880

women's studies course, one of—because I really thought that was gonna be a joke. I literally took a women's studies class just because it hit two birds with one stone, so y'all know how that is, like it’s an elective but it also covers like a general course or whatever.

00:35:22.570 - 00:35:32.360

I took that class, it was a woman and citizenship class. And I wasn't taking it seriously until like, probably the latter half. And my teacher started asking some really poignant questions.

00:35:33.080 - 00:35:43.410

And she was an African American lady, actually. And she says, you're really good at this, like, this is some good stuff, and I was like, yeah, this is women and citizenship. I never thought about that.

00:35:43.410 - 00:35:55.960

Like, what's the point, you know? And then she essentially encouraged me, or at least I was encouraged to take another course, and was like, maybe I should like minor in this. And then one of my favorite classes within the women's studies was

00:35:56.120 - 00:36:08.200

women, gender, and technology. And my teacher was a Japanese-American woman. And at first I wanted to take the class, like I'm a science student, and a women's studies minor, that's

00:36:08.200 - 00:36:21.330

a great class to take. Women, gender, and science. What I find out, the class wasn't like about like STEM specifically, it was about, it was essentially a social, a sociology kind of class, like, you know, how does technology impact,

00:36:21.690 - 00:36:35.860

you know, women, or how women are seen, or how do these technologies impact the way women behave, and started learning about more things, like more female oriented science, things like an IUD, or birth

00:36:36.180 - 00:36:47.790

control, and contraception, I didn't know any of those things at that age, and how that impacted women. So I was just like, wow, this is really cool. And I–I—that was one of my favorite classes ‘cause I did a

00:36:47.890 - 00:37:05.060

project, my final project was on skin discoloration technologies. And it was, in the Filipino culture, skin whitening, as many cultures are, they're really into skin whitening, and I grew up using skin whitening

00:37:05.220 - 00:37:19.300

technologies like soap and lotion, and we even use alum rocks that we would, like, you know, we would rub on our elbows, you know, because any dark melanin spots were considered dirty. And so even to this

00:37:19.320 - 00:37:33.790

day, that's a conception that a lot of women or the culture holds, you know, so you utilize some of this. And so I did a project on that, finding out that you know, using these products actually harm your skin

00:37:33.790 - 00:37:49.780

and harm your health. And so that–that class really helped intersect my identity, my you know, academics, and even science, you know, seeing science in a more humanity way versus just like, oh,

00:37:49.850 - 00:38:02.830

here, here's an organic formula you need to convert into a catalyst or whatever you need to do. So that was one of my favorite, you know, one of my favorite classes to take with a teacher who guided me through that process.

00:38:04.000 - 00:38:15.230

I also have a couple of professors, you know, who taught me in the Asian-American course. He's very famous in the API sector in terms of research. And he even reached out

00:38:15.230 - 00:38:31.730

to me when I was already living out here in Houston, ‘cause he came out here to present one of his books in one of the Asian-American organizations. And then more specifically, my most favorite mentors were in Asian Student Pacific—Asian Pacific Student Programs, in

00:38:31.730 - 00:38:43.990

that department. Half of them were Filipino. So that also helps. So it was the first time I ever saw like, older Filipinos who spoke only

00:38:44.070 - 00:38:55.830

English, and they weren't like my parents who were native, you know, Tagalog speakers. So it was–it was really—I looked up to them, even to this day, I look up to them.

00:38:56.300 - 00:39:08.240

And one of my mentors, he just retired from the university. And we–we all, his former students all sent, you know, messages to him. So I feel very blessed that I had those folks

00:39:09.640 - 00:39:24.410

there. And I've stayed in connection with one of them, who was my mentor for when I was in YCOP, when I was in the youth community, she eventually became a doctor, a doctorate in–in her field as well. And we met up at a

00:39:24.790 - 00:39:38.860

higher-ed conference, you know, as essentially colleagues, but really, I saw her as a mentor and she, you know, we have to have mentors in our lives, especially in like college. Like that's such a revealing time

00:39:38.860 - 00:39:49.840

for–for a lot of people. So, if you don't have a mentor, go find one. Yeah, I think that's really good advice. And it sounds like these classes and these professors left a

00:39:49.840 - 00:40:01.400

pretty big impact on you. Good to hear. So kind of moving past college, can you describe the general academic path that you followed under—after undergrad?

00:40:04.740 - 00:40:20.280

Yes. So after–after undergrad, I had more work-life experience. After college, I was hired on by the university, in–in–in one of

00:40:20.540 - 00:40:34.190

the, I guess, administrative departments. And it was a little slow for me at first, ‘cause I–I think I didn't really have, I didn't know my purpose. But as I started helping around and doing

00:40:34.190 - 00:40:50.220

things, I was like, okay, this is interesting. But I was, I think I was craving my artistic side at that time, I was writing music, playing my guitar, singing, I had this vision that I wanted to do, like, I wanted to

00:40:50.220 - 00:41:03.450

pursue my music, I wanted to sing, I wanted to write music and do open mics. And I had told the—that boss, my first, I guess, official supervisor for the job. They sh—they were all like, okay, all right.

00:41:03.520 - 00:41:15.760

I think they were hoping to keep me on staff. But–but that didn't happen. Because I eventually moved here to Texas, essentially a year after I graduated from college, and I

00:41:16.890 - 00:41:29.560

had to start all over, or like, start from the beginning trying to figure out okay, what is it that I want to do, so it was a nice, fresh start. So going back to my creative side, I was like, I–I always wanted to open up a bakery.

00:41:29.560 - 00:41:43.340

And so I was like, oh, I want to—let's–let's, you know, experience this. So I took some pastry classes, but I was out of state, so that cost a lot of money. So I had to stop pastry school, and I ended up working at a pastry

00:41:43.340 - 00:41:57.720

shop. And I worked at a boutique hotel, a very posh hotel, out here in Houston. And that opened my eyes, because I got paid more working in higher ed than I got paid working

00:41:59.130 - 00:42:12.240

essentially a minimum wage job, waking up way too early, and not seeing the light of day kind of thing, and the same thing. So it–it was a lot, you know, it wasn't very glamorous being a pastry cook, even though it was very creative and

00:42:12.240 - 00:42:26.890

really fun. At that point, I decided, I am going to continue going back to higher-ed. So I applied to–to a local institution. And my first job was essentially

00:42:28.270 - 00:42:40.580

being a college recruiter and going out to high schools to recruit students to come to college, or community members. So I already had that experience, going out into the high schools or the community in college, because that's

00:42:40.580 - 00:42:55.370

what we did in, you know, in my Asian American program, right? So I was able to essentially do well with that, and rise up in the ranks and, you know, be able to advance in different

00:42:55.410 - 00:43:07.260

managerial positions, administrative, you know, positions. And yeah, that–that was almost a decade of my life. And I really grew to love higher-ed

00:43:07.260 - 00:43:22.150

from there, realizing how much fun I had in college, doing that kind of work, working at a college, and realizing I could get paid to do this for a living. And I did. I did for a decade.

00:43:22.260 - 00:43:37.760

And so while I was working at this institution, you know, it wasn't enough to just have a bachelor's degree. The unspoken word was like, you need to advance and get your master's degree if you want to

00:43:37.760 - 00:43:49.800

become, you know, a, you know, in a higher position. And my supervisors at the time were very supportive, and they themselves were trying to pursue higher education. So it's always an environment

00:43:49.860 - 00:44:03.540

where pursue, pursue your higher education, keep going, and–and don't stop. And I was a young professional, so I didn't, you know, necessarily have major obligations, except for my education.

00:44:04.010 - 00:44:22.080

So I decided—I had just become a manager at that point, and I decided to pursue my master's degree. And I went to an institution who was looking for a—their

00:44:22.150 - 00:44:33.510

first online cohort, because online schooling at the university level was still kind of very new, you know, and so I was–I was that, I was the first cohort, and it was very successful.

00:44:33.610 - 00:44:47.850

And I enjoyed that program, learning more about higher-ed, and the fact that it was online was so convenient, ‘cause I could work and go to school at the same time, and then—and do that.

00:44:48.280 - 00:45:00.310

And I paid everything out of pocket, because I didn't want to have to deal with more student loans than I had to deal with in my bachelor's degree. And then afterwards, after I graduated from my master's degree, I decided I

00:45:00.310 - 00:45:14.090

need a break. I needed to take a year off. So I took a year off. And in that year off, I continued managing, and then I–I was able to once again apply for a doctorate’s

00:45:14.090 - 00:45:28.690

program, and what was great about this doctorate’s program, the institution would be able to pay a partial—could pay my tuition partially. And so that was always a win win, you know, in choosing, and so that was also a local

00:45:28.690 - 00:45:44.910

institution. And–and that wasn't online, that was face to face, so I had to dedicate my time to going to school, also managing like, you know, full time, you know, supervisor and manager, you know, work.

00:45:45.520 - 00:45:58.950

And I did that, that was for a couple of years. And then I knew I wanted to focus on something Asian-American, Filipino-American on my dissertation, that, you

00:45:58.950 - 00:46:12.990

know, going and getting my master's degree and my doctorates degree were a partial reason not only to, you know, fulfill my own personal goal, my only—own dreams as well as my parents or my family, I thought getting my degree was a way

00:46:12.990 - 00:46:28.760

to give back to the Filipino community and the Asian-American community. Because during my time when I was at that institution, before my master's degree, I had created an educational program for

00:46:28.760 - 00:46:42.830

Filipino-Americans1, youth and their parents, alongside FYP, which is Filipino Young Professionals. I was a member at that time. And so I decided to combine my expertise in the work that I did, along with my

00:46:43.090 - 00:46:55.660

community service work. And we created this programming, and we had several dozens of students go through the program, you know, learning more about their career paths, and showing them the different

00:46:55.700 - 00:47:08.960

options that you can become as a Filipino, not only just as a nurse, because Filipinos are known to be nurses, they could do so much more. So I knew that my degrees, my master's degree and my

00:47:08.960 - 00:47:22.460

doctorate’s degree, were going to be things I would contribute to the community, it wasn't only just for me. So that's kind of how it got me through my entire degree path and how I, you know, really decided and chose I really want to

00:47:22.460 - 00:47:32.170

do something with the Filipino-American community in my dissertation, because no one really is doing that out here, at least where I was living here in Houston.

00:47:32.850 - 00:47:44.810

And so I knew I wanted to do something special. That's awesome. Sounds like you were finding like your own path in life, and then also helping other people find their path in life, which is pretty cool. Yes I was.

00:47:44.810 - 00:47:59.090

I was advising, helping students, getting them from the beginning of college all the way through the end to graduation, and transferring out to universities, and then even seeing them at that point. Some, many of my students are much—are older now.

00:47:59.860 - 00:48:13.020

They're married, they have families, they've graduated, they've even continued on to graduate school, and are probably at this point finished or finished up. So yeah, I'm a huge proponent–proponent of education,

00:48:14.790 - 00:48:27.860

because it does change people's lives and it changes, you know, family trajectories, you know, who—especially the students that came our way, a lot of them were first generation, many of them first generation college students, as

00:48:27.860 - 00:48:44.450

well as first generation immigrants or second generation immigrants coming from families. So, you know, college was–was a reach for many of them, and we had to motivate and encourage them the entire way. Yeah, you—I think you definitely had a big im-impact on these

00:48:44.450 - 00:48:56.280

students’ lives, so that's really good to hear. Thank you. Yeah, sure. So for your career, could you describe your current role as President of the Filipino

00:48:57.080 - 00:49:11.870

American National Historical Society here in Houston? Yes, so I’m–I'm very proud and honored to be the President of Filipino American National Historical Society, the Houston, Texas chapter.

00:49:12.910 - 00:49:27.540

I am not the first, I am the second president, because our first president, Ms. Christy Poisot. She founded it and started it in 2015. And I was one of the founding

00:49:27.540 - 00:49:40.380

Charter members at that time as well. So I've been part of FANHS essentially for, since 2015. But in some of those years, I had to like lay low because I was in my doctorate’s program.

00:49:40.980 - 00:49:53.210

So you know, when you're full time, or when you're a full time worker and student, you have to focus on school. So, and as a FANHS—so now that I've graduated from school and–and

00:49:54.250 - 00:50:09.210

focusing on this, I was appointed, you know, as the President last year in 2020. And so you know, the FANHS is a very important organization not only locally, but

00:50:09.680 - 00:50:22.790

nationally. So on a national le-level, the Houston chapter is part of this national umbrella, FANHS. And they have been around, the organization has been around since 1982.

00:50:23.380 - 00:50:39.180

So even before I was born, and the–the goal is to, you know, promote, to preserve, to raise awareness about Filipino-American lived experiences, essentially

00:50:39.180 - 00:50:58.640

the history of Filipino-Americans here in the United States. And you do that through programming, through publishing books, and archiving artifacts, and essentially preserving your history and your

00:50:58.770 - 00:51:16.630

culture. And as I'm doing that now—so, you know, we're–we're doing multiple things, as the President of, you know, a nonprofit, you know, you have to split your time with the creative and creation, along with

00:51:16.730 - 00:51:37.220

the administrative and essentially like the business side of things. And so for these next couple of years, our goal is to build real strong infrastructure in terms of, you know, making sure we have a strong membership, making sure we have strong

00:51:37.280 - 00:51:54.580

leaderships, you know, people in place to continue this work in the next couple of years. And so we've also developed a–a program agenda for the whole year, a calendar—essentially an event calendar for the year, so that we know

00:51:55.370 - 00:52:11.370

what we will be offering to the community. And we have goals, future goals, which we have planned out in this tenure, to really establish a very strong nonprofit for at least the next five to 10 years, where,

00:52:12.130 - 00:52:27.970

you know, we can–we can start applying for grants hopefully, and start really growing the staff and the infrastructure so that we can do even more for the community. In terms of what FANHS has done in the past, we've hosted events where

00:52:28.010 - 00:52:40.440

we've brought in Filipino American authors, and hosted essentially, you know, authors to, you know, present their books or do a writing class.

00:52:41.220 - 00:52:58.600

We've also done—Filipino American History Month is celebrated every October. And it is FANHS, the national nonprof—national organization, that was able to get it passed in Congress, so that

00:52:58.640 - 00:53:14.600

you can have an actual National History Month in October. So this organization is making some big moves in the Filipino community. And, you know, I–I'm very proud to be a part of that, and to

00:53:14.600 - 00:53:28.990

continue to shape this organization. And not to mention that even if I have a title and the rest of the team that is part of, you know, leading this group, we are all on our own

00:53:29.350 - 00:53:42.950

journey. We're all on our own personal growth, and ethno-racial identity development, that FANHS is beyond the administrative work that we do as–as leaders, right?

00:53:43.190 - 00:53:59.880

It–it's part of growing us as people as, as our identities as Filipinos, or Filipinx, or Filipino-Americans. And because maybe I–I was so privileged, I like think back

00:53:59.880 - 00:54:14.210

now, I've been talking about it now out loud, I'm realizing how privileged I was to have such a strong Filipino-American upbringing, even up to college, and being surrounded by other AAPIs.

00:54:14.210 - 00:54:30.300

That may–that may not necessarily be the experience here in Houston, Texas, for Filipino-Americans. And so I feel like FANHS and the other organizations that I’m part of really make–make that

00:54:31.360 - 00:54:45.540

whole for–for the community meaning, like, the things I had at an institution and at the college, you—right, or even growing up in my neighborhood and having, you know, these–these networks of Filipino-Americans and Asian American Pacific Islander communities.

00:54:46.100 - 00:54:56.590

That's here too, but it's not really institutionalized per se at the college or university level across the board in the state of Texas. In the state of California, it is.

00:54:57.640 - 00:55:06.910

So it's the norm. Here, it's not, you know, there is not really an ethnic studies, you know, we have only one institution and locally here in the university setting

00:55:06.910 - 00:55:21.000

that actually has an Asian American Studies Department, you know? So I feel like moving here, even though it—the infrastructure, let's say, isn't as strong as what I had back in California, ‘cause Filipinos are

00:55:21.060 - 00:55:35.590

in the masses, because California is the state with the largest population of Filipinos, we come in about like third or fourth on the census. So I always say that the struggle is here in the South.

00:55:36.370 - 00:55:48.870

And it's not bad, it's actually really great. Because it allows me in my position, as now a doctor, right, of some title , right, or even being a community

00:55:49.470 - 00:56:05.540

leader, I have the capacity to be in power and empower others, to learn more about their identity and to utilize who they are and where we come from, for the better of our community.

00:56:06.100 - 00:56:18.370

And I always felt that I guess, as a youth, as a young girl growing up, like, if I have power, then I want to make sure I give it back to those who are in need of–of a voice or to stand up for themselves.

00:56:18.770 - 00:56:33.990

And I believe through FANHS as we document who we are, and the experiences that we go through and continue to do so, as we are doing now, today, this is how we speak up. And this is how we are visible in the community.

00:56:34.660 - 00:56:43.420

This is how we represent. Yeah, that's a–that's a really important role. It's like powerful and empowering. So it's really good.

00:56:45.430 - 00:56:56.310

So you've mentioned online that you started documenting your family history because like of the time you spent with your paternal grandmother. Could you maybe talk a bit more about that relationship and how it

00:56:56.510 - 00:57:10.710

inspired you? Yes. So when I was a young girl, in my young teens, in school, right? I told her I was reading, we were reading all these books we needed to, ‘cause I was in like AP Literature or

00:57:10.710 - 00:57:26.800

something ridiculous. One of the books we read was a multi-generational female perspective. And this young girl had a mother and a grandmother, I believe, and she was like, you know, experiencing her

00:57:26.920 - 00:57:36.590

life through this lens. And I think she was like, interviewing them or listening to their stories or just observing. And I realized after

00:57:36.590 - 00:57:52.260

reading that book that I have my own, like, multi-generational female lens. And that the oldest person in my family was my maternal—my paternal grandmother at the time. And I thought, she's the link to

00:57:52.300 - 00:58:12.860

history, to the past, to what was before in the Philippines, and her own life, and oh my gosh, I'm talking about her because today is her death anniversary. And so realizing that now, I’m getting a little emotional, that

00:58:14.290 - 00:58:30.480

it was because of her, and her story and the life that she went through, I was interested in finding out more about her, because I knew that she was going to pass away one day, you know, to have to be confronted with death at

00:58:30.480 - 00:58:41.930

a young age, then I guess that's when I realized, my grandma's not going to be here forever, taking care of me, wiping–wiping my butt, feeding me. And you know, being a–a great doting grandmother.

00:58:42.460 - 00:58:54.700

‘Cause she helped raise us too, essentially, growing up. So I did everything in my capacity to record my grandmother. Now at that time, I

00:58:54.700 - 00:59:10.140

didn't have a cell phone, we didn't have cell phones that you can just record, or YouTube, you know, anyone. So I would just, when I would take care of her or spend time with my grandma, which was many times, a lot of my time was spent with my grandmother, I would just ask her questions,

00:59:10.140 - 00:59:17.770

about what's your—what was your life like in the Philippines? What's your favorite color? What—who were your boyfriends? Who were they? How did you meet grandpa?

00:59:18.630 - 00:59:31.340

And so I would ask the same questions over and over again, and I would write it down. And so I would write them down on anything that I had. At one point, I had like a paper bag, just writing,

00:59:32.430 - 00:59:44.620

you know, about my grandma's life on a paper bag. And eventually I typed it up when I eventually had a computer or I was able to type it up in school or something. And I currently have them right now.

00:59:45.520 - 01:00:02.120

It's not necessarily digitized, but I think it's very important that I do, that's kind of a project that I have, and I feel really blessed that I was able to find out my new things, like you know, when her birthday is, who her siblings were, who her parents were, where she came from, where she was

01:00:02.170 - 01:00:14.940

born. And I guess I’ll always have that with me. I was always the grandchild who was very interested in it. I don't think any of the other kids or grandchildren were interested in it.

01:00:15.280 - 01:00:31.920

But I feel like I have a piece of her always with me, always in my heart, always—not only in my heart, also written down, which also expanded to me trying to interview other relatives, you know, because I grew up with my paternal side,

01:00:32.370 - 01:00:47.660

we were very close to them. I started interviewing some folks as well, like other relatives. And yeah, I–I—it's nowhere near, you know, the Houston Asian American Archives at all, by all no—any means.

01:00:47.660 - 01:01:04.240

But, you know, writing it down and having it documented, I think is just something that's so important, because those stories are proof and living evidence of, you know, the life

01:01:04.800 - 01:01:17.270

of Filipino-Americans and the struggles that they went through. You know, my grandma would share stories about World War II. I mean, I didn't know she was joking, because she would–she would make light of it.

01:01:17.700 - 01:01:29.280

You know, she would say like, oh, you know, they would run to the mountains, that she saw, I think, either a rela—like, either her sister's baby or someone's baby thrown up in the air.

01:01:29.490 - 01:01:46.450

And then the–the Japanese would—what is the word? What is that called again? The–the–the guns with the knives at the end? I forgot what they are. Bayonet, yes, they–they would

01:01:46.490 - 01:01:59.310

throw the kids, and they would kill the babies with bayonets. I mean, they were killing everyone and anything in sight, you know, they lived in a village. And so they had to run to the mountains and hide in the mountains, because I guess the Japanese

01:01:59.310 - 01:02:15.320

wouldn't go up that far. And, but I didn't, I never got full–full details, because it's hard when you're older, right? And to relive that trauma. So even just mentioning that, even though she was trying to be funny, or make a joke

01:02:15.450 - 01:02:26.280

out of the ridiculousness of that kind of death, I know it happened, you know? So, yeah, so when–when she passed

01:02:26.280 - 01:02:41.340

away, before we—before I moved to Texas, really that year I moved to Texas, before we moved in 2007, you know, she—I—we spent as much time as we could, you know, with her getting her–her–her story.

01:02:41.340 - 01:02:53.960

We even interviewed her on video, I think at one time, and she would get tired sometimes, like, why are you videotaping me? But it's—this is important, you know, we're gonna have this forever. Yeah, I think that's really–that's really powerful.

01:02:54.800 - 01:03:08.420

And I think your grandmother would be really proud to see, like, how far you've come, and also like her role in helping you. Yes, I was so lucky to have my grandma come to my bachelor's degree—like my graduation from

01:03:08.420 - 01:03:23.790

my undergrad. So, you know, she went to that and saw me graduate, I was able—actually, I was able to sing the national anthem at that–that particular graduation, so I got to perform too, so you know, it was

01:03:23.790 - 01:03:37.520

great. And I wish she was still alive for my master’s and even my doctorate’s degree, because, you know, no–no one in my family has been able to receive this particular level of education. Not that they can’t, but

01:03:39.020 - 01:03:53.030

I know it's something that the family can be proud of, like that someone—where–where my parent—my grandparents came from, as my grandma didn’t graduate from college, she didn't even–she didn't even really graduate grade school, from what I know, like, she probably went all

01:03:53.030 - 01:04:06.010

the way up to seventh—eighth —seventh grade, you know, became a seamstress, and eventually a farmer, you know, in–in her life, and a homemaker. And, you know, to come from that, to come from

01:04:06.010 - 01:04:18.280

people, you know, who–who work the land to what I'm doing, you know, it was—it’s a huge generational jump in terms of economic status and even social status.

01:04:19.430 - 01:04:33.040

Oh, yeah, that's–that's insane. I'm glad you have her and like her stories, so like you can remember her by that. Thank you. Yeah. So when you were a young child, do you think

01:04:33.250 - 01:04:48.490

you could have ever imagined yourself in your current career? Uh, no . No, because when I was a young child, I only knew of one path and that was to become a doctor, a medical doctor, or something in the medical field.

01:04:49.080 - 01:05:04.500

You know, because Filipinos, many Filipinos are in the medical field, and most especially here in Houston, Texas because of the Medical Center. You know, medicine, allied health is–is a great way—is a great

01:05:04.500 - 01:05:20.510

career path. But it's not necessarily the path for every Filipino-American. And I think that's what motivated me working at, you know, at a college institution helping, you know, youth as well as

01:05:20.510 - 01:05:31.520

adults figure out what they wanted to study. And many a times I had to be a mediator for parents and Filipino kids who are trying to figure out their majors and–and what they want to do in life.

01:05:33.510 - 01:05:49.380

So, I didn't see myself being a community leader for the Filipino community, you know, as–as something, but I guess I realized that's what I wanted to do after college, like I want to be, you know, something in

01:05:49.380 - 01:06:06.850

the community where we're helping and giving back in any way, shape or form. So I wish I–I wish we could have children believe and think that I could be like, you know, a community organizer, activist, as

01:06:06.850 - 01:06:21.200

an actual career and as a job, you know–you know, we do this for the love of our community, FANHS is 100% volunteer, membership driven organization at this point. You know, it may change in the future,

01:06:21.200 - 01:06:35.140

which is part of my goal in terms of my leadership, I would like to see more than just that. I want to have jobs for Filipino-American youth or, you know, post college students who want to be, let's say, an

01:06:35.350 - 01:06:52.270

Executive Director, and actually has a salary, and this is a viable career, you know? So—because it's—this work is so important. I keep–I keep thinking in my head, and I wrote this in my dissertation, you know, if I don't write about this, or if we don't do this, then who

01:06:52.270 - 01:07:06.860

will? And so I can only hold myself accountable, I can't make or force anyone to do anything. So I know that I feel charged to do this type of work in my community in any way, shape, or form.

01:07:07.620 - 01:07:23.740

I'm not going to save the world, but I'll try to do my best, you know, to contribute and give back. So that there's–there's resources for my community, because people are not creating purposely for my creative community,

01:07:24.350 - 01:07:37.440

you know, and I keep asking, if not us, if not me, then who else will it be? So I-I’m—I think that's what I'm working on. And not only in

01:07:37.690 - 01:07:54.130

FANHS, but just even in my future goals. You know, like, how can we now get the young Filipino, you know, kids and youth, my nieces and nephews to say, like, yeah, this is work I want to be and I want to do, but in order to get to that, your childhood,

01:07:54.460 - 01:08:10.930

your growing up needs to be filled with not only just positive Filipino-American experiences, but also ways where you get that challenge, and you learn more, and you dig more. And so, you know, we don't necessarily have that, in terms of

01:08:10.930 - 01:08:19.980

like, you know, school institutionally, where you know, Filipino kids can go to. We don't have, like a Chinese school, ‘cause Chinese–Chinese, Mandarin, Cantonese schools, like those are popular, right?

01:08:20.130 - 01:08:28.650

There's a lot of those. Well, in the Filipino community, we don't have that here in the South. You know, there isn't a school to go to, to learn the language, to learn the culture and be connected.

01:08:30.270 - 01:08:44.140

It becomes the responsibility of the family and the parents, but many parents and families don't have time to teach their kids that, because they're working, you know, they're–they're trying to survive, they're living an immigrant lifestyle, you

01:08:44.140 - 01:09:00.400

know, trying to–trying to work their way through, and so I feel like that's kind of part of my calling, I guess, so to continue doing things for the community where we can, you know, advocate and empower all ages.

01:09:00.940 - 01:09:14.470

So FANHS is–FANHS is that and we're hopefully you know, going to, to expand it as–as we grow in terms of the people who are–are in it, and we can expand our programs as well. So, no, I–I didn't think I

01:09:14.470 - 01:09:28.600

was gonna be in this position. Honestly, I–I really thought, and I probably could still be, you know, I really thought I was gonna continue in like the college institution portion, but I-I've been noticing, you

01:09:28.600 - 01:09:45.250

know, I think nonprofit has been a good calling for me, as well as, you know, just carving my own path. Because people with a doctorate’s degree are doing probably one of two things usually, they're either teaching or they're doing administrative work, or they're like

01:09:45.490 - 01:09:59.060

researching and writing papers and–and books. And all those things are great, you know, and it's not to say that I can't do those, I could, you know, do those. But I feel like my calling at this point is to really, you know,

01:09:59.940 - 01:10:14.640

continue community organizing with FANHS, and then also even just in my own, fulfilling my own personal goals that will help the community. Yeah, that's awesome. And that sounds like a really powerful like grounding principle,

01:10:14.680 - 01:10:27.710

kind of. So in terms of like the community besides FANHS, can you talk about some other organizations or programs that you've been involved in, either currently or in the past?

01:10:28.640 - 01:10:42.940

Yeah. So I briefly mentioned to you that I was in–in Filipino Young Professionals when I first moved here, and that was like the first organization I was a part of. And actually, I was one of the

01:10:42.940 - 01:10:57.010

founding members of the organization. And essentially, it was a multi-generational, young, professional organization. People tend to get a little hung up on the word young.

01:10:57.700 - 01:11:12.390

But it was–it was young at heart, and–and anyone who essentially was Filipino, it really served a role that was in between post college, and

01:11:12.430 - 01:11:26.360

before, like our parents' organizations, because they're Filipino organizations that were created by what I call our parents generation, or the I guess it's the—what do we call this? What do we call our parents

01:11:26.360 - 01:11:42.350

generation, the boom, I don’t want to call—I don't want to say anything I guess–I guess–I guess the boomer generation . Yeah, you know, everyone who's retiring right now, essentially. So at the time, you know, there's–there's these

01:11:43.240 - 01:11:57.940

long standing Filipino American Houston organizations, and there's always some kind of youth component to it. But many of those youth would go to college, and then they would have their college Filipino student, the college student experience,

01:11:58.340 - 01:12:07.180

being in those associations. And then after college, there really wasn't anything unless you continued, you may be hanging out with your parents and their organization. But it's not like you were gonna take over the

01:12:08.060 - 01:12:19.390

organization, you were just kind of there as part of the community. FYP really, I feel at that point, you know, came in as a space for a lot of people who were in between that age range.

01:12:19.390 - 01:12:28.530

Between, let's say, 25, and 45. Right, there really wasn't anything, there wasn't a FANHS chapter, at least here in Houston at that time.

01:12:28.550 - 01:12:40.220

So—and that's where I was able to really establish myself as a community leader in the Filipino community was through that. And like I mentioned to you creating the educational workshops, which we

01:12:40.290 - 01:12:55.570

also like, held a festival in as well. So I did that. My family, like I said, is also Catholic, and they're in a Catholic, Filipino religious

01:12:55.570 - 01:13:10.380

community. And I would also sometimes volunteer my time in terms of singing for the choir, my parents, you know, before COVID, very–very active in their prayer meetings, as well as the choir. And so that was

01:13:10.380 - 01:13:25.340

also, you know, because of my—by way of my parents, we were associated with that. And then, more recently, of course, there's FANHS, and then there's this new artist organization, Filipinx

01:13:25.460 - 01:13:38.890

Artists of Houston. And essentially, FxAH is a collective of artists from multi-backgrounds, you know, anything artistic, related, you know, and you're Filipino.

01:13:39.420 - 01:13:51.370

Essentially, it's just a free and open collective group. And so I know a lot of people through that network as well. And also, you know, there's also this

01:13:51.370 - 01:14:07.530

very big and strong Asian American, Pacific Islander nonprofit called OCA Greater Houston. And so I've known about OCA since my early days here in Houston—I,

01:14:08.490 - 01:14:21.480

because I was doing so much work, I guess, at that–at that time, I was awarded by OCA Greater Houston as like an outstanding API employee at that

01:14:21.480 - 01:14:36.500

time. And so I was able to get to know OCA at the time and and get to know some of the people there and, you know, help out now with some projects that OCA Greater Houston is doing. Specifically like working on,

01:14:37.360 - 01:14:50.380

you know, some diversity, equity and inclusion programming and kind of helping with that. So, those are a couple of, I guess, organizations I'm a part of and then

01:14:51.450 - 01:15:05.870

because the Filipino community is essentially pretty tight knit in many ways. I'll get pulled in to you know, like, "Hey, you know, do you want to help out and be a, you know, an emcee for this or a panelist for this or speaker for this?"

01:15:06.290 - 01:15:21.240

So I wouldn't necessarily say I'm not part of those organizations, but I'm always kind of helping or assisting the Filipino community like niches, you know. ‘Cause there's so many, there's like, over 50 organizations out there.

01:15:21.390 - 01:15:38.380

And–a-and yeah, so if like if Unipro, for example, is another, it's a new, young, fast growing Filipino American organization here in Houston. And yeah, so they've asked me to help for some things like, “Oh, can you be a

01:15:38.380 - 01:15:52.580

graduate, you know, commencement speaker.” Like, "Yes, I'm so you know, honored to do that." So, I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in that organization, but our organizations all work together. And I think that really combats like any

01:15:52.580 - 01:16:06.170

idea of crab mentality. You know, it's just kind of working in alliance with many of the organizations from different backgrounds, an-an-and generations, and even in different cities. So like, you know, we have a

01:16:06.170 - 01:16:20.440

brand new member who lives in San Antonio, and this person is very active in that community and with their chamber and has invited me as a FANHS leader in Houston to participate in an event, you know, that

01:16:20.440 - 01:16:36.670

they have. So, yeah, ther-ther-ther-there's a–there’s a lot that–that I have gone through, I mean, there's probably a bunch more on my CV or my resume that I can't think of, but I think I've said—I've shared the most

01:16:36.730 - 01:16:49.370

essence of–of–of it all, because I'm thinking, is there anything else? Um, yeah, I mean, there was a lot of–a lot of it is like, just like, I guess, people in the network. Even sometimes when we host events, like

01:16:49.370 - 01:17:02.040

back in the days and like, when I just moved out here in 2007, 2008-9-10-11, even through those years, we were organizing events, not through a nonprofit, we were just like, we need to come together and raise

01:17:02.040 - 01:17:11.800

funds for let's say, a hurricane that happened in the Philippines. So it wasn't necessarily, "Oh, we're a nonprofit, or we're a group. We're just like, we're Filipinos who need to come and organize together.

01:17:12.190 - 01:17:26.410

And, you know, do something good for the community." Yeah, that's awesome. And I'm not sure if this is like tied to an organization. But could you describe your involvement with the book Filipinos in Houston?

01:17:28.390 - 01:17:42.920

Yes. Okay. So Christy Poisot and Jenah Maravilla are, I think they’ve both been interviewed through HAAA, already, they are the main writers and editors of the book.

01:17:43.440 - 01:17:56.790

And my role, along with several other folks was, you know, to help contribute to the book, whether that's encouraging other Filipinos to submit pictures, as well as quotes along with those pictures.

01:17:57.820 - 01:18:09.240

So I tried to help with the best of my capacity because I was in like, deep in grad school at that point with my doctorates degree, trying to finish off my dissertation.

01:18:09.720 - 01:18:23.700

So I was focusing on that. But while I—but in the meantime, I remember hosting, because Christy and Jenah would host on the south side, they would host like scanning photo

01:18:23.700 - 01:18:34.690

parties. Sounds weird . Like they would scan photos, they would get the community come together, bring all your photos, and you would scan it because that's the premise of the book. The book essentially is a visualization of

01:18:34.780 - 01:18:50.470

pictures of Filipinos as early as the 1960s, 70s all the way to present day. And so I–I wanted to do one for my community. I live on the–on the opposite side

01:18:51.710 - 01:19:03.910

of Christy and Jenah and so I just felt like there wasn't any representation on this side of town. So I decided to host my own little thing at the—with the local Filipino restaurant because I knew the owner there.

01:19:04.240 - 01:19:18.110

They're friends with my parents in the–in the religious community. And so I hosted it there, we had a couple of folks, you know, bring out their photos. And that's how I contributed alongside with maybe some historical

01:19:18.110 - 01:19:36.250

things like I had found something on the news about Filipinos in essentially what was like the World Fair. There was something called No-Tsu-Oh Carnival here in the early 1900s in Houston, and essentially it

01:19:36.270 - 01:19:51.610

was a cross between like Mardi Gras and a World Fair, like at St. Louis in–in–in Missouri, and so they had that, and they brought over from the Philippines,

01:19:53.030 - 01:20:09.910

Fil-Filipinos who were Igorot. And Igorot Filipinos were—are–are darker complected, and they were visualized, or they were represented as tribal

01:20:09.910 - 01:20:27.640

savage people in the entire Carnival here in Houston. And they were, like, the main event, because, you know, they would—they–they had—they made them wear tribal co—the tribal

01:20:27.640 - 01:20:44.830

costumes and like eat dog and essentially behave as if they were primitive. But many—the funny thing is, many of those folks who came here through this Carnival, they

01:20:46.380 - 01:20:57.320

had just gone through, you know, Spanish colonization. And so it's not like they were primitive, they were forced to have to behave as if they look like they were, like native

01:20:57.320 - 01:21:10.580

savages, but they weren't. There's not very much history, per se, about those Filipinos, who came here on this carnival. But there was a picture that I saw—seen in like a news article.

01:21:11.200 - 01:21:24.640

And I had suggested—I gave it to Christy. I was like, "Hey, look at this, you know, we've got something as far back as 19—" I forgot the date. It was like the early 1900s, like 1911 or something between 1909

01:21:24.640 - 01:21:39.820

to 1911. And they were like, it was like a postcard size. And I think they took that information, and they went to the direct source at the library in Houston to kind of find it and–and you know, do that, but I put that image in my dissertation as well,

01:21:39.820 - 01:21:52.500

because that's not something we talk about or that even Filipino American Houstonians, you know, know about that, you know. The first—one of the first Filipinos at the turn of the century were here as

01:21:52.500 - 01:22:07.840

essentially zoo exhibits. You know, and so, yeah, so I thought that was critical. I'm glad to help contribute, and I honestly, it was really Christy, Jenah and some other folks like Lieszl

01:22:07.960 - 01:22:17.280

Compas and Anthony Guevara. They contributed so much to the project. Many of those pictures are from their families and their communities.

01:22:17.740 - 01:22:31.190

I'm not a native Houstonian, right. So I don't have roots as far—well, I do have roots as far back as like the 1970s because of my aunt. But they were born and raised

01:22:31.190 - 01:22:42.850

here in Houston, so they had a—they have a lot of that documentation. So that was–that was my contribution, you know, to it. And then you even now, we still have books.

01:22:42.930 - 01:22:56.640

And so as part of FANHS now as the president, because it was a project under FANHS. You know, we still promote and sell the book, you know, and we're hoping in the future that we can create, not just a future, hopefully

01:22:56.640 - 01:23:09.060

soon, we create a curriculum around the book so that we can teach, essentially the book and the stories or the–the–the chronological timeframe that's in the book. Yeah, that sounds like a really interesting book.

01:23:10.170 - 01:23:21.740

I definitely did not know that about like the festival. That's kind of disturbing, but important to know. Yeah. It is distur—It is very disturbing. I–I want to do more research around it.

01:23:22.310 - 01:23:33.980

It's been a little bit difficult, but there is at least a picture, a day, I mean, yeah, a date, and who the people were. Yeah. And so I—it's really interesting.

01:23:34.580 - 01:23:50.070

And on a side note, the first Asian American that graduated from Rice University was a Filipino American gentlemen. So you know, he's–he graduated from your school, from Rice University.

01:23:50.460 - 01:24:03.080

So he's also in the book, as well. And the book is it it's–it's an easy read. Think it's like an adult picture book is essentially what it is. It's family photos that are beautiful.

01:24:03.680 - 01:24:15.290

From–from ages—from different, you know, generations. And so, yeah, if you have a chance, or maybe one day we get to meet, we can show you the book or it's at your library. It's at the Woodson research center-centers

01:24:15.480 - 01:24:26.190

exactly. So you could always see the book. Oh, that's awesome. Fondren like Fondren library. Yeah, and the Fondren library. So inside right inside the Fondren Library, there is the Woodson

01:24:26.230 - 01:24:37.880

Research Center. It's like glassed off. And but it's probably closed right now because of you know, because of what's happening. But I'm in there with Amanda Focke.

01:24:38.530 - 01:24:52.290

She is the head archivist there and they house the, what's the name of your yearbook? The camp—I think it's the campanile or campanile. Camp— Yes. Okay.

01:24:53.300 - 01:25:04.600

Campion or something–something like that. Right. In those–in those yearbooks is one of the first classes and his picture is in there like the Fili—That's where the picture inside are the–the

01:25:05.180 - 01:25:18.640

Filipinos in Houston book. That's where they got it from, from your resource center. And they took that picture. So, yeah, so there's history of this man, right? One of the first Filipinos at the turn of the century

01:25:18.640 - 01:25:29.980

who was living here and is very educated or like went to a very prestigious school, you know, so they have–they have some—y'all have some information on his life. So it's pretty cool. Yeah, that's really cool.

01:25:30.340 - 01:25:46.010

I'm–I'm actually going back on campus pretty soon, like February 14. So I can—if the library is open, I can check that out. So kind of moving back to like focusing on you. How do you identify yourself?

01:25:46.010 - 01:26:03.890

And this can be like ethnic identity or just like any other describers. I identify as Filipino American. And within that, I will also either written or verbally, I will say a

01:26:03.890 - 01:26:10.680

couple things. I'm Filipino. I'm Filipino American. I am Filipinx. I'm Filipina. I'm Pinay.

01:26:10.680 - 01:26:20.960

Um, I don't really usually say I'm Pinoy. Because Pinoy, you know, is–is a general term for Filipino Americans. But I

01:26:21.300 - 01:26:37.890

would rather call myself Pinay because I'm a female Filipino. Yeah, recently, Filipinx has been a name that's been coming up, at least in–in the academic sense, kind of taking or lending from Latinx.

01:26:39.610 - 01:26:53.650

That terminology, so putting the x at the end of Filipino. I think at one point in my life, I was also saying Pilipino, like with a P instead of an F. But I identify as Filipino American.

01:26:53.650 - 01:27:06.840

And my pronouns are she/her/hers or Sha, S-I-Y-A. Sha, is essentially like a gender neutral word for them in the Tagalog language.

01:27:08.500 - 01:27:20.230

And, yeah, that's—I think, and I'm also second generation. In terms of coming here. I didn't come here to America, I was born here in America, but come from an immigrant family.

01:27:20.580 - 01:27:34.590

But I am a first generation college going student. And just explain that a little bit, how that can be confusing, because I mentioned earlier that my parents both graduated from college, but they graduated in the

01:27:34.590 - 01:27:43.980

Philippines, and the education in the Philippines, it's good. It's great. But it's different from here in America. And my parents,

01:27:44.560 - 01:27:58.800

essentially, their college experience was different from my college experience. American students have choices. Back then for my parents, they didn't have a choice in terms of what career or major their parents

01:27:59.260 - 01:28:12.260

enrolled them, and decided what they were going to study. And so the entire process was different. So I call myself and I call my students who are Filipino, and they're the first ones to go to college here in America as first generation.

01:28:13.230 - 01:28:26.870

That's important, because when you're trying to apply for financial aid or scholarships, right, you have to list you know, if your parents or who've gone to college. Well, there's more than just saying my parents

01:28:27.220 - 01:28:39.410

went to college, but they went to college in a different country, not in the American system. And so, it's as good as saying, my parents don't know anything about the college system here in America as immigrants.

01:28:39.530 - 01:28:54.350

And so I think that's important to note. I think that's all of the things that I identify with. And also even just in terms of, I guess, sexual identity as well as gender identity, I identify as female.

01:28:55.790 - 01:29:05.720

Cis-female. Is that—yes, cis, is it, no, yeah, I think so. I'm just like making sure I'm thinking cis versus homo- and heterosexual essentially.

01:29:06.100 - 01:29:21.030

So and I'm yes—and of course I have a partner and yeah, so that's kind of how I identify myself moving forward. Hopefully I have other–other titles you know, as I get older and hopefully grow a family.

01:29:22.120 - 01:29:35.400

Definitely, yeah. Do you have any like memory-memorable stories or experiences of when you faced challenges with embracing or reconciling with your identity, or your identities? Yes.

01:29:38.210 - 01:29:51.040

Even though I grew up in a very Filipino American family, my parents like you know when you get into arguments or—and you're trying to reason with your parents.

01:29:51.920 - 01:30:03.870

Am I okay? Like ‘cause I see something spooling, okay. You know, my parents would–would be like, "Don't reason, don't talk back. You know, don't reason out." Because of the Filipino culture, you don't talk back to your

01:30:03.900 - 01:30:17.730

parents, or you don't give them any reasons. But in the American culture, you know, you—it's okay to essentially defend your stance and to debate and to explain where you come

01:30:17.730 - 01:30:27.040

from so that the other can understand; that's kind of the premise of our democracy. Right? So, um, but for them, there is no explaining there is no, you know, justifying.

01:30:27.700 - 01:30:43.070

And so they would say something to the effect of, "You're a Filipino, not American." And so, but the thing is, I was born in America, right? I was born in America, and I am Filipino at the

01:30:43.130 - 01:30:58.870

same time. And so when you're going through that, as a youth and growing up, you don't realize that there's a tension between your, you know, ethnic identity, and your nationality, which is being American.

01:31:00.260 - 01:31:18.500

So I knew what my parents were saying when they say, "Be Filipino and not American." They're essentially saying, you know, follow the Filipino ways. Which is the ways we're teaching you, not what

01:31:18.770 - 01:31:32.880

the Americanized, which is huge. The word Americanized is like a huge thing in our community, like, "Oh, that's too Americanized," and Americanized means white. And I guess the other word is like too

01:31:32.880 - 01:31:49.100

independent or not of the collective, you're an individual, you're not part of us, is the implication of Americanized. So there's a couple of values that we have in our community, which is you have to be part

01:31:49.100 - 01:32:00.840

of the "us", you're part of the community, you can't be the other, you know, and so in order to be one of us, or one of the Filipinos in the community, you've got to follow like the Filipino ways. So we grew up knowing that

01:32:01.090 - 01:32:14.860

and that's, I think, why we, you know, learn Tagalog or learned the language or watched the vide—we watched movies, listen to music. And that was further solidified, I think, when my cousin's from the

01:32:14.880 - 01:32:28.630

Philippines, moved here when we're at a turn of our teenage years, so we were preteens going to teenage years, and they were straight from the Philippines. And they came here and they spoke Tagalog, and a

01:32:28.630 - 01:32:39.830

little bit of a—like, you know, good, decent English. But we learned a lot more from there. And I think that's what solidified my Filipino culture because those Filipino cousins came here, and they brought their

01:32:39.830 - 01:32:49.100

culture to us. And we learned so much. Before that I knew I was Filipino. We danced Filipino dances, we could

01:32:49.100 - 01:33:06.130

understand. I had Filipino friends, classmates. We ate Filipino food, we still watch the TV. But there was a–there was a bit of shame associated with it. And I remember the shame specifically when I was

01:33:06.390 - 01:33:21.170

watching Filipino TV. They have Filipino TVs at the Filipino restaurants in California, because those were one of the very few places you could actually watch Filipino TV, because it's cable. You have to buy

01:33:21.170 - 01:33:34.730

it right. And we didn't buy Filipino TV in our home; that was too expensive. So we only got the free channels on–on the PBS stations or whatever it was. And so when I was at the Filipino restaurant, the one

01:33:34.730 - 01:33:48.730

I really remember was as a–as a young girl, getting my Filipino food, I was like watching this and I was just like, it was a variety show. And they were dancing and singing, and specifically singing and dancing

01:33:48.730 - 01:34:04.330

to like English music, like pop music that I was listening to as a young girl like at that time, whether it be like Britney Spears, or whatever it was, but they were singing and dancing just like them. And I thought, "Oh my gosh, these Filipinos are wannabes." That's what I was

01:34:04.330 - 01:34:18.570

thinking in my head. They're like, they're trying too hard. Like they're trying to dress and like, you know, pop culture outfits and singing. And I just thought, I felt so embarrassed. Not by me; I felt embarrassed for them.

01:34:18.570 - 01:34:32.540

The people on TV the Filipinos who were dancing and singing, like trying to be American or Americanized. And I think at that point, that's when I realized that there's a difference.

01:34:32.920 - 01:34:46.290

Those who are from the Philippines and then there's Filipinos like me who are here in America, who I guess I had the sense of righteousness like, "Well, I'm, I can speak English and this that's my culture, like listening to this American English music

01:34:46.460 - 01:34:59.610

without an accent." So I guess I felt that way, growing up until those cousins came, which I just shared with you, and that flipped it all over like then I started seeing the Filipino dancers as my idols.

01:34:59.880 - 01:35:12.360

I wanted to be those Filipino dancers and singers. And I ate that up. So kind of like a reverse. As–as I was, like, I realized now like those people are the real, like, not real

01:35:12.360 - 01:35:25.700

Filipinos, but they're Filipinos and they enjoyed singing and dancing just as much as I did as a Filipino American. And so the fact that me and my Filipino cousins, and me as a Filipino American cousin, we were able to bridge and

01:35:25.700 - 01:35:40.580

connect together, I think that's when I was able to reconcile a lot of my Filipino identity. If that didn't happen, I think I would have continued thinking the other way, which is having this kind of shame around being,

01:35:42.120 - 01:35:54.520

sur—being associated with those type of Filipinos, which is so bad, as I'm saying out loud, right now. Can't believe it's being recorded. That's totally fine .

01:35:54.990 - 01:36:05.910

Yeah, I think–I think that's really great growth to have, though, it's a great realization to have. And I'm glad that your cousins came over, so you could have that. Yeah, I'm sorry.

01:36:06.180 - 01:36:17.650

Emily, can I add one more thing? The added piece of being Catholic, Filipino Catholic is another layer that's not really spoken about.

01:36:18.310 - 01:36:30.130

A lot of Filipinos are Catholic, because it's a Catholic country. But it's also—there's also different religions, you know, in the Philippines, not just only Catholic, there's many forms of Christianity along with, you know,

01:36:30.320 - 01:36:41.340

Islam, and just many–many–many other kinds. But specifically, being a Filipino American, Catholic, young girl, there

01:36:41.520 - 01:36:58.150

was also—I see now that I was treated differently, or at least expected to behave differently than even my partner, him also being Filipino growing up as a male Filipino. You know, we are definitely sheltered

01:36:58.540 - 01:37:13.490

more, protected more, and expected to behave a certain way, know how to cook. Well, not–not to the best, but know how to clean for sure, you know, and know how to behave like a docile young lady, and they

01:37:13.490 - 01:37:24.920

call it be demure. You know, you just want to look pretty, but you don't want to speak up too much and cause a ruckus. And so at home, you know, we–we had fun with our cousins and stuff.

01:37:25.010 - 01:37:43.690

But even within that, you know, even within my cousins and stuff, the expectation was to stay like in the role of a young girl, which is to be like innocent and quiet and very conservative

01:37:44.610 - 01:37:59.450

and reserved. That was diff—I was different at school. I'm not saying I was louder, rambunctious. That was not the case; it's more like my behavior at school was the opposite. I was very much outgoing as a student leader.

01:38:00.620 - 01:38:14.580

And, you know, already knew how to give directions and even manage and delegate things to people, you know, so I think even that was kind of like a disparity in terms of like Filipino American, like gender

01:38:14.580 - 01:38:27.200

identity, you know, having–having to do that—I wasn't very, I still don't like chores, okay, let's not turn the camera and show what's happening around this area. But I, you know, so but there's always an

01:38:27.200 - 01:38:42.140

expectation, to do that, and to give back to your parents and to take care of parents and your family in a very nurturing way on top of also trying to achieve as a student and as a leader.

01:38:42.540 - 01:38:57.930

So it's a lot of pressure, you know, as I'm thinking back now and realizing it, and so I think there's a difference. I don't know if I can speak for the male, you know, a male counterpart, but based on comparing my experience with my partner, I don't think that was necessary the

01:38:57.930 - 01:39:08.410

same? Yeah, definitely. I'm actually like—I'm taking my first like, feminist theory class this semester. So I think like a lot of what you're saying, really, like makes sense.

01:39:08.500 - 01:39:21.990

Yeah. So kind of like going back to what you were saying about like the Filipino American community in Houston, and also maybe like more in general, the Asian American community in Houston.

01:39:23.310 - 01:39:36.150

In your opinion, what is it doing well, and also, how can it improve for the future? Well, I think the fact that there are more organizations popping up for specific niches, like for example, the

01:39:36.340 - 01:39:45.710

Filipinx Artists of Houston, it's a Filipino group for artists, right? FANHS, same thing. It's an organization for

01:39:45.710 - 01:40:01.610

people who, you know, believe in preserving Filipino American history, documenting living experiences and teaching more about, essentially, who we are and what we've gone through. So I think that's good because I had

01:40:01.610 - 01:40:19.550

said early in my interview, you know, starting off in FYP, that became a organization that kind of bridged that age gap between 25 to, let's say, 45. But since that timeframe, there's been more organizations, these two that I

01:40:19.550 - 01:40:35.660

just shared along with, let's say, UniPro. Um, and I'm sure there are others that I don't even know about, that are reaching out to people post college. But before retirement, you know, and so, I think that's what's good.

01:40:37.810 - 01:40:54.680

That's happening. And I think it's because there's already you know—organizations are doing things to raise awareness about Filipino American identity. And at the same time, if you notice the organizations that I've shared, they're not

01:40:55.380 - 01:41:11.420

focused on like regional locations, or specific, like subculture identities, and the Filipino community with what I call, like the boomer generation who have their organizations, many of those organizations are

01:41:12.500 - 01:41:27.590

focused on language, or the region that they lived in back home in the Philippines, or even here in Houston, like the location east, west, north, south Houston, let's say that—or they combined both your

01:41:28.310 - 01:41:43.640

location here in Houston, and your language, and like where you came from back home, you know, so many of the older generation groups are focused on that, because it was, you think about it–it was a way for–for them to identify

01:41:44.290 - 01:41:57.850

people have the same background, of the same demographics, or location from back home. You could say it was like their—it was their version of Facebook, back then, right.

01:41:58.900 - 01:42:16.000

But I'm, I think I'm seeing now just in my initial preliminary ideas, and even in my research, as I was thinking that organizations like FANHS, and Filipinx, UniPro, FYP, it's kind of a new generation organizations that are not

01:42:16.000 - 01:42:32.540

necessarily focusing on regional language, or site specific Filipino communities. It's focusing on like, broader topics, like history, or art, right, or community

01:42:34.770 - 01:42:52.870

betterment, not necessarily on, you know, just only from where your location. So I think that's the good part of this. But at the same time, this generation who are—who like me and younger or even a little bit older, who are–are joining

01:42:52.870 - 01:43:08.440

these more broad Filipino American organizations. Are they joining the other the–the boomer generation organizations, right? And so I’ve been questioning and starting

01:43:08.440 - 01:43:24.490

to question the viability and the sustainability of those organizations that have the we call them Titos, and Titas, which is aunt uncle, slash lolos and lolas, which is grandma and grandpa's, like those organizations that have been

01:43:24.520 - 01:43:38.520

here, let's say, since the 60s or the 70s, and the 80s, which were created a time when they were in their young professional ages. Right. But they're getting older, they're growing older, and their children may

01:43:38.520 - 01:43:52.900

not be taking up the helm. So I wouldn't call it bad, but it's more like, what are we as a community going to do about, let's say, the viability and the

01:43:52.900 - 01:44:12.860

sustainably-su-sustainability of those organizations. And I have a hunch that perhaps some of them will not last. They may not survive, if the youth which youth is everyone who's not, you know, in that age range,

01:44:13.480 - 01:44:30.870

so you can still be a youth and be 45 in their eyes. You know, if there's no way for the next generation to take up the torch, and I think that's a main concern, a problem, I think, you know,

01:44:31.470 - 01:44:49.390

which is the succession planning, and passing down because the legacy of that organization will not continue or–or–or–or even be known if it's, if there's nobody to take over.

01:44:50.030 - 01:45:05.950

Right. And have we trained, have we–have we molded and mentored the youth, the next generation to take over those organizations or are we at a point in the evolution of our community that those

01:45:06.000 - 01:45:25.320

organizations are no longer... what's the word? They're no longer as relevant to this generation of Filipino Americans, because of living in a Filipino American,

01:45:25.830 - 01:45:43.400

specifically Houston, Texas environment, right? Perhaps those organizations might be best suited for maybe folks who were born in the Philippines, in those regions, and they want to gather with people who are from their barrio or from their

01:45:43.400 - 01:45:57.410

township, right. So those may continue to survive and to live as younger professionals right from the Philippines, start coming here and raising their families. But I do think that–that's something we

01:45:57.410 - 01:46:07.980

still need to kind of look at. So that's why I think in FANHS it's so important that, you know, we, let's say, we work with these other Filipino American organizations,

01:46:07.980 - 01:46:24.590

especially the older generation organizations, to–to document you know, their history or to open up, you know, a box at the Woodson Research Center and bring their Gala books bring–bring all of you know, their agendas, and

01:46:24.710 - 01:46:40.710

all the things that, you know, they were doing in the 60s and 70s and 80s. So, you know, even if that organization doesn't live for another five years, let's say, they have a history that this existed, you know, because all that hard work, and that love and

01:46:40.710 - 01:46:58.330

that care that they put into in the last 20, 30, 40 years in the organization to build a Filipino community, that should never be forgotten. And so I think that's what's important. You know, I don't know if my community, I'll be honest, I don't

01:46:58.330 - 01:47:08.360

think they're even thinking that. This same question is asked, I think for–for another for another Filipino, they'd be saying, well, oh, well, you know, Filipinos are at each other's throats.

01:47:08.810 - 01:47:18.470

Or like, they're always competing against each other, there's crab mentality, you know, there's like, you know, I'm—this organization is better than your organization, and there's politics involved, etc.

01:47:18.470 - 01:47:32.460

And, to me, that's just a superficial and if anything, that's what's holding us back from actually thinking on a bigger, macro level, of the via-the viability of these organizations.

01:47:32.730 - 01:47:44.500

Because I—we shouldn't say that those older organizations are any less. They just, they work differently, right? Because they came from a different generation, they may not be using a computer to archive everything, right?

01:47:44.950 - 01:47:56.140

Unlike, you know, in FANHS, right now, we are using all the social media tools, and that automatically archives, what our digital flyers are, right? So if anyone ever wanted to know what we've done in the past, they just go to

01:47:56.180 - 01:48:10.350

Facebook, or our website and see, oh, wow, they've done all these things. But perhaps for those older generations, they don't have that access, and they don't know how to do those things. And then the other part is they want the

01:48:10.390 - 01:48:21.800

youth to help, right? But the quote unquote, youth, which is people like me or other generations, they're busy doing other work in the community, like we're doing right? And starting our own organizations.

01:48:22.370 - 01:48:37.330

And that's why, you know, these nonprofit organizations that we have all of is mostly volunteer based. There—I don't know, one Filipino American Houston organization that has paid staff.

01:48:38.700 - 01:48:51.980

So in other Asian American organizations, nonprofits, specifically, they have some paid staff, not all, okay, you know, because it takes a lot to get to the point where you have paid staff, but many of the ones that are gonna survive

01:48:52.150 - 01:49:08.280

another 50 years, right. They've–they've reached a point where they can actually pay staff to do administrative, technological things. Right. And so I think it's our generation, for those of us who, let's say, went

01:49:08.280 - 01:49:23.100

to college here have, you know, experience in the nonprofit or in the corporate world, we need to give back to our community and help those–those areas in a way where we can build sustainability for these

01:49:23.150 - 01:49:37.610

organizations, whether it's through human resources, or, you know, making sure we finance and budget for staffing, because right now it was many of these organizations were built out of building

01:49:39.080 - 01:49:51.530

a sense of belonging for social and network purposes, or maybe even religious purposes. Not necessarily because they were there to change the world. They were there to create a

01:49:51.530 - 01:50:04.650

community in their own world. We're now seeing the future. We're in the future now of what they had created in the past and we can't just let that history die.

01:50:06.300 - 01:50:20.210

So yeah, a part of me sometimes feel like I'm the only one who feels this way, I don't really talk too much about it. But now that it's gonna be documented, I guess it will be heard.

01:50:22.500 - 01:50:37.590

And I've shared this in private with several Filipino American organizers and activists, that I think this is a concern we should have. Because essentially, the histories of our grandparents

01:50:38.420 - 01:50:55.550

and our aunts and uncles who started these organizations, will cease to exist in our future history. And that's not the memories we want to have about our community. You know, we–we–we want to show that there was things before

01:50:55.990 - 01:51:12.150

me, you know, and I think that's what's important, as well, because we—there's a saying that we have no history, N-O history means no self, N-O self.

01:51:12.820 - 01:51:28.580

But if you know, your history and k-n-o-w, then you know, k-n-o-w yourself. So it's just a circle of life in these things. And I think that's an impending issue that I don't know even how

01:51:29.570 - 01:51:42.290

we're going to even address it, because it feels like just an evolutionary transformational kind of thing. But nobody really talks about it, because maybe it's not even valued. At the end of the day, it's just oh, there is another Filipino

01:51:42.290 - 01:51:57.270

organization just gone, or inactive or not doing anything, because everybody is essentially retired or passed away. Yeah, I think that's definitely a valid concern. And it's also something like I wouldn't have

01:51:57.310 - 01:52:12.470

considered otherwise. And, yeah, but I also think it's like, kind of like a cycle—I kind of like, it's always gonna happen, and we just have to prepare for it. Right, right. Last year, I went to a Filipino nonprofit like

01:52:12.470 - 01:52:25.280

summit. Before COVID, I was able to travel to go there. And they started talking about succession planning. That was the first time I ever heard of the word succession planning within a Filipino American nonprofit organization.

01:52:25.950 - 01:52:39.140

And that should be just as important as starting up an organization, right? Because if you start up an organization, but you don't know how it's going to end or how it's going to be moved on or passed on, then it's just as good as not

01:52:39.140 - 01:52:48.260

starting one. Because, you know, it means it didn't exist at that point. Or it existed for just a little sliver of time.

01:52:49.880 - 01:53:02.730

But the other problem is–is because people do this out of the kindness of their hearts, it's 100% volunteer, you know, and when you volunteer, you can't expect people to, you know, to work as if it's their full time job.

01:53:03.770 - 01:53:16.120

Some people may feel like it's their full time job, because they really feel passionate about this work. But that's not necessarily everyone, right. And so that's why I personally feel we need to create some

01:53:16.120 - 01:53:30.720

kind of infrastructure in the future, or perhaps a lar—a-an organization or have some kind—a structure of some kind, that allows us to finance more stability and more sustainability.

01:53:31.660 - 01:53:42.970

I don't know how, or how that's gonna happen. But I would hope at least in FANHS, we're going to try to do something to that extent, you know, to do that, because like, you asked

01:53:42.970 - 01:53:54.170

me, does anybody want to grow up and become a community leader? No, because parents will say, there's no money in it. You know, that's a waste of your time.

01:53:54.170 - 01:54:09.330

Why are you going to give back to the community, when you need to give back to your family, you got to raise your kids, you got to go to college, you got to do all these things for yourself. You know, but to have to give back to the community is–is in

01:54:09.330 - 01:54:24.780

line with Filipino values, which is giving back to where you came from, giving back to your elders, giving back and respecting your culture. So it's really interesting how that kind of like American Western philosophy, like take care of your

01:54:24.780 - 01:54:38.280

own, you know, comes into play when it comes to maybe some community service. Yeah definitely. I totally agree. So just for some kind of final, like wrap up thoughts.

01:54:39.640 - 01:54:51.690

I guess this is more kind of like the fun section. But if you could go back in time and give a piece of advice to your younger self, what would it be? Advice to my younger self.

01:54:54.870 - 01:55:09.760

You know, I–I think the advice I would have is to be strong, and to stand up for what you believe in. But what happens if you don't know what you believe in?

01:55:10.030 - 01:55:21.520

Right? I would probably encourage my younger self to listen more to my intuition, to that inner voice of me. And I think I did for the most part.

01:55:21.640 - 01:55:36.700

And that's perhaps why I had so much strength as being an active young child or student in, you know, the areas of performance, of music, of the arts and the humanities, and leadership positions.

01:55:37.510 - 01:55:52.740

I rarely told my parents until I already got the part or until I already got the award or something that–that happened. I would always test myself and prove myself first, before I even brought any information back home, they would just only find out, "Oh,

01:55:54.220 - 01:56:06.730

you're–your’re leader in this or you're the lead part of this?" They didn't even know that I applied or—so I already had an internal intuition. But I also think I held back from

01:56:09.550 - 01:56:25.990

probably saying my truth about my major right, I probably shouldn't have majored in the sciences or gone through the whole thing. You know, I, it would have been better that I should have explored, you know, the–the ethnic studies

01:56:25.990 - 01:56:43.240

or Asian American studies or sociology or something humanities. But I think that was because there was maybe not the resources from—on my parents end or in the community where, you know, is there a Filipino American

01:56:43.510 - 01:56:54.270

career fair? Was there an opportunity for me to see Filipinos in other industries, besides nursing? A lot of people in my family were

01:56:54.270 - 01:57:09.920

nurses, you know, or in the medical field. If not, they were in, you know, blue collar jobs, or self-employed. So, I think at that point in time, I would have told myself, you know, to listen to my intuition, follow my

01:57:09.950 - 01:57:24.830

gut instinct, but also research and look for other, discover other, ex-explore other options and opportunities, whether your parents know, or don't know, or your, you know, your community may or may

01:57:24.830 - 01:57:39.910

not know, you know–you know, and at that time, we didn't have the internet. So it's not like I could Google, you know, I had to—you had to go to your school, college library, a college counseling, you

01:57:39.910 - 01:57:49.720

know, a little library nook, right. And like, they had college videotapes and pamphlets of universities and colleges you wanted to go to.

01:57:50.140 - 01:58:06.270

So if I knew then, I would have told myself like, you know, create a Filipino American career fair, so that you could—you can find out what kinds of jobs and opportunities out there so that you can see the ate and kuya, ate means older sister and

01:58:06.320 - 01:58:17.120

older brother, but that's how—what we call just like people who are older than us, than our age. So you know, you could have found some ates and kuyas, who were in different industries. And I do

01:58:17.120 - 01:58:30.620

believe my life would be totally different if I pursued a life that was just focused on like, the arts, and the creative and the humanities. But not to say that I don't like what's happened now.

01:58:30.620 - 01:58:40.900

Because like, I realized, I can explore that now. Because I have a choice. And I can, you know, and so I guess that's what I would

01:58:41.080 - 01:58:53.930

te-tell myself–tell myself, I—tell myself to just be strong. Listen to your gut instinct, and also ask questions, you know, to get you the resources you think you need to get you to the dreams or the goals

01:58:53.930 - 01:59:05.650

that you want to have. So, I mean, I guess one thing did come true. I wanted to become a doctor . So I became one, but just not a medical one.

01:59:05.790 - 01:59:22.310

So it's just–it's just a difference in perspective. Yeah, that's awesome. And I know you kind of like alluded to this before, but if you decide to have children in the future, if they were to watch this interview video in the future,

01:59:22.550 - 01:59:34.490

what would you want to say to them? Wow. That's so funny. That's a question I ask people in their interviews or like in my grandma, or like my mom, my parents like what would you say to your grandparent, your

01:59:34.490 - 01:59:48.640

grandchildren, your future grandchild? Well, this is what I would say to my future grandchildren and future family. I want to say you are here, not just because of me, but because of my

01:59:48.690 - 02:00:06.450

parents, my partner's parents, our grandparents, and our ancestors. We—you are living in the way—you are living—the way you are living your life right now because of the

02:00:06.450 - 02:00:25.270

hardship and the struggles that they went through that we went through, but also the opportunities that they opened and gave to me and that hopefully we are giving to you. And so my message to them is to

02:00:25.270 - 02:00:42.160

continue to learn more about their Filipino American identity in their own way, by learning about their family history, learning about Filipino American history in general, and also to find ways to give back to your community,

02:00:42.930 - 02:00:58.870

because it's really through this community work that you find a life fulfillment that you can't really find, you know, necessarily in, you know, in a nine to five job, or even in, let's say, raising a family per se.

02:00:59.530 - 02:01:12.160

Right. So giving back to others, and giving back to, specifically, others who look like you, and have gone through similar experiences like you, I think is going to be a way for you to find a piece of life

02:01:14.310 - 02:01:31.420

satisfaction, contentment, happiness, and fulfillment. At least that's for my— based on my experience, doing this–doing this type of work, being in FANHS, or being in all the different Filipino American organizations and activities,

02:01:31.660 - 02:01:46.570

or even not, you know, even just giving back to the community, in general, I think is something that community service, and being a service to others, is something that truly comes authentically

02:01:46.570 - 02:02:02.970

from a place in yourself, that is not taking but giving. You know, you don't have to give money, you don't have to give, you know things. You just give your time and the talents and the skills that you personally

02:02:02.970 - 02:02:20.130

have. And that's enough to make a change and a difference in people's lives, which make up the community. Yeah, I think that's a–that's a really great message to share. And my last question for you, what are

02:02:20.130 - 02:02:33.640

your favorite things to do outside of your career? Great. Okay, so I—outside of my career, I like nature. So, you know, we're trying to be more

02:02:33.640 - 02:02:50.020

healthy in my family and so we really enjoy walking outside in nature, in the forest, or whether it's a park or a nice long waterway. Biking. I was so blessed.

02:02:50.160 - 02:03:04.610

We just, I got a bike for my birthday last year. Yes, you know, we have to do something during COVID times to stay–to stay healthy. So we we really enjoy the

02:03:04.610 - 02:03:17.570

outdoors when we can. We also are a family of food. So you know, we really love going out to eat but because of COVID times we've had to cook more at home.

02:03:17.650 - 02:03:34.930

So we, to a certain extent, really do enjoy cooking and cooking good food is–is–is–is fun. Other things I like to do. I know I had mentioned, I have some personal projects, like, you know,

02:03:34.930 - 02:03:45.970

recording my family history writing down their information. We even have this online platform where we put our family–family tree on there. So thank God that's there.

02:03:47.310 - 02:03:56.750

So I do enjoy that. So that's an outstanding project that I have. And I will be continuing I guess as I continue to–to grow up and to live.

02:03:57.400 - 02:04:12.440

So I have several people to interview just like this, but for my family. And then I also–I mean wow, a lot of my life is Zoom right now. Zooming meeting somebody like, what?

02:04:13.300 - 02:04:26.260

Oh, well, come on now y'all. Somebody's gonna have to have some, you know, streaming–streaming company on their tablets or something like, you know, Netflix, Hulu, you know, watching movies.

02:04:27.040 - 02:04:41.600

I mean, that's an extension of lived experiences, right, watching stories and motion film. So watching movies in epi-series, docuseries that–that was where

02:04:41.740 - 02:04:53.230

probably a lot of my time is spent . I'm sure a lot of people too. I really do enjoy watching movies, or–or mostly really like TV

02:04:53.230 - 02:05:09.750

shows, right? Like the TV shows that are episodic and you can binge watch the shows and I like all different kinds of stories. And probably that's why like, you know, there's period pieces and then like current times, and then documentaries.

02:05:11.480 - 02:05:24.260

Because I think at one point when I was in high school, I thought I wanted to do film. I entered into a film competition with my friends. My cousin was already studying film. And I asked him to

02:05:24.260 - 02:05:34.580

film us, right? We came up, me and my friends came up with the premise. And I wanted to enter, I wanted us to win the $500 prize, or whatever it was.

02:05:35.000 - 02:05:47.360

We work so hard on it, me and my cousin edited, or he edited, of course, but I was right there with him. And I think the teacher was pretty annoyed, because I kept asking questions.

02:05:47.440 - 02:06:00.790

And they viewed our film, to the school. And we won. Probably because of the persistence of asking all the time, but I guess we did a good

02:06:00.790 - 02:06:13.490

job. So yeah, that could have been—that could still be my life. I'm not saying you can't be but documentation is always, I guess, preserving stories and stories and narrative.

02:06:13.740 - 02:06:26.990

Oh, yeah, going back to my dissertation, the narrative inquiry, which is inquiring about the stories of people's lived experiences, specifically Filipino American students’ lived experiences.

02:06:27.650 - 02:06:41.370

So yeah, I like to write, I like to journal. Now, I don't have a steady diet stream of writing and journaling. But I keep that to

02:06:41.370 - 02:06:54.790

myself in terms of like, it's a–it's a part of my wellness now. And I've been writing since I was 13, I think. 13 or 14 or 15.

02:06:55.240 - 02:07:09.730

Young age. So I have a box of journals from that age, and I still have I still write even till today. If, yeah, I would definitely recommend people to journal.

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It's not something you have to share with anyone. No, it's–it's for you. It's for your own self. And sometimes I wouldn't even write for a whole year.

02:07:18.530 - 02:07:27.980

Like it'd be one entry. And then next page is the next year. But it just kind of depends on—I think writing has gotten me through a lot of like mental health, wellness.

02:07:28.610 - 02:07:42.270

And–and just expressing myself, it's really probably one of the best forms of art for me, is journaling. So journaling. I love to read on vacation, but as

02:07:42.270 - 02:07:55.180

do anybody, right. So I do like to read for fun, but not as voracious as many readers who say they’re readers. Yeah, I haven't read anything this year.

02:07:55.400 - 02:08:04.710

So, but I love to do all those things. I can't think of anything else. Spend time with my parents and my family. Like, that's all we do.

02:08:04.780 - 02:08:16.250

That's like spend time with family when we can, cook, sleep, and Zoom. That's all we do. That's awesome. Yeah, I definitely relate to like the Netflix part .

02:08:16.660 - 02:08:29.010

Yeah. Do you? We're gonna have to edit those out? Right? Yeah, like what–what are you watching right now? Yeah. Well, that's all the questions that I have planned.

02:08:29.010 - 02:08:42.380

But if you have anything else to add, you can. I think a significant portion of my Filipino identity kind of came at a crossing last year before COVID blew up.

02:08:42.790 - 02:09:00.810

I had a chance—a wonderful, amazing chance to visit the Philippines. Last January, February timeframe with my matriarchal aunt, and it was–it was an amazing experience.

02:09:02.100 - 02:09:16.410

And just going back and seeing the community and the people, and places where my family are from, I think that's another key piece to learning who you are as Filipino.

02:09:17.720 - 02:09:33.130

Now, some people are like either second, third, fourth, fifth or even farther generation out, I would say, Filipino and they may not know where they're from back home in the Philippines. But even just like going back there, and seeing

02:09:34.940 - 02:09:48.640

Filipinos in the Philippines, makes you stop and reflect about who you are as a Filipino American. I was different. But I was also the same in many

02:09:49.130 - 02:10:04.380

ways. You know, like they were surprised I could speak the language and understand. But I could tell that they could tell that I was not from there. And a part of

02:10:04.380 - 02:10:18.300

me also felt a little bit inauthentic. Because I rea—I was realizing that the Filipinos in the Philippines are, I guess what I was saying to myself the true real Filipinos because they were born there, this is how they

02:10:18.300 - 02:10:33.210

live. And I was so much more cognizant—this is the second time I went to the Philippines as an adult. And I was much more cognizant of my westernized Americanized thoughts. I didn't want to impose that.

02:10:33.210 - 02:10:50.210

But I obviously have a lens that I cannot separate out from my own personal beliefs and thoughts, right. So I knew that how I was viewing things, the first time when I went to the Philippines, which was about a decade before, it was too much of a culture shock.

02:10:50.700 - 02:11:07.870

And I–I knew I couldn't live without some of the amenities that America had offered. But coming back to it, and coming back to it this past-last year, realizing, you know, really how beautiful everything

02:11:08.900 - 02:11:25.380

is, and how I'm connected to all of that where my ancestors came from, you know, it's different. I'm a person who probably should have never came here, right.

02:11:25.450 - 02:11:36.690

Like, if my parents and other families never immigrated, we—I would have been born or raised there in the Philippines, my life would have been totally different, not necessarily good or bad.

02:11:38.030 - 02:11:51.060

And I think that's the thing a lot of the times you say like, oh, as Filipino Americans, right? We're saying like, "Oh, we're so blessed living here, we're living this kind of fruitful, rich life in comparison to the poverty

02:11:51.500 - 02:12:06.370

that is compared in the Philippines." But I went to the city and in the province areas, and yes, in the stand—the westernized standards of social economics, it is poverty, right.

02:12:06.890 - 02:12:24.090

But if you just live amongst the people there as a Filipino in that environment, you may not know anything differently. And that's your worldview. And I think I just took from that–that I have to respect different worldviews and where

02:12:24.110 - 02:12:40.190

people come from, and the Filipino lived experience that's happening in the Philippines. So I–I hope one day, you know, when things get better, I have another chance to go back to the Philippines.

02:12:41.240 - 02:12:54.050

I can take my partner who really hasn't been there as an adult ever. And my future children that will have like, I would love for all of us to go back to get connected to the land, get

02:12:54.410 - 02:13:05.070

connected to the people. And I also want to vacation, you know, like they've got some really great spots in the Philippines that I've never even been to. And so I

02:13:05.160 - 02:13:22.900

want to also be a tourist, I guess, in my–my ancestors homeland, you know, and to enjoy and to–and to respectfully enjoy–enjoy that. So, I guess that's kind of like my take on–on all of this.

02:13:22.900 - 02:13:39.250

You know, hopefully–hopefully, one day, hopefully one day—we're all changed because of COVID. This is going to change our—this is changing and has changed our community. We still don't know the impact

02:13:39.250 - 02:13:57.120

yet. Right? Because everything is in hindsight in retrospect, 20/20, which happened in 2020. All right, that'll be retrospect 20/20 and 2020. But I–I, you know, that the trip from last year

02:13:57.250 - 02:14:12.760

makes it even more special that I even had a chance, you know, to go and to spend that time and to learn more about–about the culture and the community and my family history. And not everyone has that privilege.

02:14:13.000 - 02:14:28.180

It's an expensive ticket to travel even without COVID you know, so we bring a little piece of that Philippines Filipino culture Filip—you know here in the work that we do. That's the foundation and the–the

02:14:28.180 - 02:14:42.960

framework, right? But doesn't mean we can't question certain things from that perspective. And why I say that is when I went to the Philippines, I really felt like an outsider or I started

02:14:42.960 - 02:14:57.580

criticizing in my head as a Western person of like, the images and the ads that I would see. There's a huge push for white skin in the Philippines, and all of the big billboards that are you know, even in Asia, right, just Asia in general.

02:14:57.580 - 02:15:14.420

The billboards are like skyscraper-high, and it's usually like a very pale beautiful girl who's very thin or whatever. And I was thinking, and I was starting to impose my own beliefs on that, starting to get angry and upset, you know, that, "How

02:15:14.420 - 02:15:29.060

dare you, you know, put this information to these– to the people here?" But you know, I also realize, like, I can't impose my beliefs, you know, on that; that's–that's the framework that they

02:15:29.100 - 02:15:43.050

live in. Right. But we can–we can discuss dialogue, and you can break it down, you know, and hopefully, maybe get people to think differently in

02:15:43.220 - 02:15:55.680

regards to that, because I know I do, you know, even now, I, you know, in terms of image, right body image, beauty image as a Pinay. So those things. Yeah, I don't know what I'm saying.

02:15:55.680 - 02:16:06.890

But essentially, that's what I wanted to add that I went to the Philippines, and it changed my life. And I think every time I will travel there in the future to come will always change my life and

02:16:07.110 - 02:16:18.460

people that I go with. That's awesome. Yeah. Fingers crossed that COVID goes away soon. So you can have that like experience with your partner and your children, sometime in the future.

02:16:19.520 - 02:16:32.270

Yeah, I think that's a missing link for many Filipinos, because they may not have gone back to the Philippines to see where their families come from, and where they still are. I have relatives who still live

02:16:32.440 - 02:16:49.510

in a province setting where their–their–their home floor is the dirt of the ground. You know, they live in a–in a hut, you know, and they have all the furnitures an American young girl would have in their

02:16:49.510 - 02:17:05.500

bedroom, but it's just in a hut and soil floor. You know, and that is, that's a culture shock for me as an American Filipino. Right, putting up—purposely putting American first before being Filipino because

02:17:06.110 - 02:17:18.510

that shock comes from being American. So, yeah. Yeah. So that's–that's it. This has been–this has been

02:17:18.510 - 02:17:27.060

such a great experience. I know. I've taken up a lot of time. This is a lot to transcribe Emily. You are doing so great.

02:17:27.520 - 02:17:35.570

Just cut it–cut it off. Okay, no worries. Thank you for doing this interview with me. I really appreciate it.

02:17:35.590 - 02:17:44.470

And also thank you for being like willing to be vulnerable. It means a lot. So thank you so much. Yeah, I didn't.

02:17:44.530 - 02:17:55.600

I knew it was my grandma's death anniversary today. But I didn't realize I was going to talk about her, you know, today, but it makes sense. It makes so much sense.

02:17:55.600 - 02:18:06.090

And it's probably her way of being honored today. That's the other thing. Like I feel like the work that I do, I have to remind myself that this work is important.

02:18:06.200 - 02:18:17.770

And on a greater transcendental sense, it honors my grandma or honors, my ancestors and my parents. And it really also honors our future.

02:18:18.250 - 02:18:32.950

Right? Because we care about this type of work, even what you're doing, Emily, right? You're paving the path, we are paving the path for our future–future families and community to reap

02:18:33.950 - 02:18:48.820

the benefits of this right as well as live in a better community, I'm hoping, you know, in the future, because it has, right like I just, I guess saying this out loud for the first time, you know, really–really is eye opening

02:18:48.820 - 02:19:03.830

to me. So, I had one interview, and I think about it for a dissertation for another Filipino American who had a dissertation. And I was, I guess, a participant of her research. And I did talk about my life a little bit,

02:19:03.830 - 02:19:20.010

but I've really focused a lot more on, like my work—like real work in higher ed. And– but this particular interview that you shared with me has really–has really opened up some doors that I never really thought about. So I really do appreciate being a part of this

02:19:20.010 - 02:19:25.130

amazing project. I'm so glad, thank you so much.