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Today is June 23, 2021. My name is Kevin Chen. I'm with the Houston Asian American Archive. And today I'll be talking with Ms. Alex Chester, who's an actor, activist, writer, and also a producer.

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So yeah, thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to talk with me today. Thank you for having me. So I guess I'll first start off with a few questions about some of your early experiences. I'm kind of

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curious to learn, like, I guess when and where you were born. So I was born in Tustin, California. And I guess, what was it like, in your household as a child? So I was raised by my mom and grandmother, who are of Jewish American descent.

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And so I was raised as a Jewish American woman. And I'm third generation on both sides of my family—so my dad's side is Japanese American. And then I had Russian Jewish on my mom's side.

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And I didn't have that much contact with my dad growing up not until a little later in life. So, you know, having both that like Jewish-American, Japanese-American like background, did you

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have any, I guess, like you would say, unique, like family or household experiences? Um, not really, you know, both sides of my family are very Americanized, just because of where we sit generation wise.

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So, you know, we–we try to keep—like my–my mom's side, we tried to keep the High Holidays, but we didn't have enough money to belong to a synagogue. And then as far as my Japanese side, you know, we wouldn't have like traditional Japanese food when we were

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with them, we would maybe go to a Chinese restaurant because it was cheaper1. Also, like my–my dad's side of the family since they were interned, I really think that they really tried not to be Japanese, if that makes sense.

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They really tried to assimilate as best as possible after–after being basically imprisoned. So my dad didn't speak Japanese, my aunt doesn't speak Japanese, I don't speak Japanese. So I guess— So like as a child,

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did you, I guess, ever kind of get interested in the–the culture aspect, or were you kind of, I guess, like, isolated from it because of like them? Yeah, I would say I was isolated from it, just because there really wasn't too much connections, if

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that makes sense. Like my–my dad's side of the family wasn't—o–other than that they are Japanese, they–they didn't really have like—like we didn't celebrate Boys’ and Girls’ Day, I don't have a Japanese name. And I feel like that because of the internment,

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there's just so much trauma there that it was just kind of like, “Let's not talk about it,” “We're gonna pretend it didn't happen,” “We're assimilated, so we're American.” So I–I really didn't—other

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than, you know, knowing that I looked differently than maybe kids at school or going to auditions and stuff that–that would be my only thing of being like, “Oh, huh, I'm not, you know, fully Japanese fully Jewish I–I-I'm mixed.”

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So that–that was more of my experience. I know that like for my dad later on in his life before he passed, he–he did start to get more into the culture, I'd say and–and like, he definitely instilled in me a love of Japanese food.

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He could not cook it to save his life. Like he made Chinese chicken salad in a garbage bag. That was how he'd—yeah. So he was not a cook. But yeah, I–I would say that,

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because of the time when I was growing up, it was—I was being constantly told by casting and my agents that I neither needed to be—present more Asian, or I need to present more white, I never really got to just be. So whatever—and to me at that

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time, Asian meant—it–it wasn't like a—it was considered a monolith, right? And it's still like something we're struggling with as well.

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But especially with casting back then Asian was just like everything. It wasn't just—it—they weren't like try to be more Japanese. It was just specifically be Asian or can you do an Asian accent? Whatever that means, right?

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I'm–I'm not sure that really answers your question other—but I didn't really—I've never been to Japan. We're supposed to go in 2020 but COVID, so hopefully next year. Yeah, good insight.

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And I guess you mentioned kind of like auditions and, you know, casting so I'm curious kind of to learn, I guess. How did you I guess kind of find the opportunity to, like perform at such a young age?

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Like were you recruited or kind of did your family look around for opportunities? 1 Note from interviewee: “I spoke with my mother, the Japanese side went to Chinese restaurants because they like it better than Japanese restaurants.” Well, my mom looked around for opportunities. She put me in dance class and voice lessons

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when I was like–like four, and my dance studio that I was going to actually gave me my first opportunity to perform on stage. And then, you know, like, I was such a ham as a kid.

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I be that kid that would like stand where all the mannequins are on—at the mall display pretend to model—I–I–I just thinking about it. Like, it's cringe worthy. And so people will come up to my mom like, “She should model” and so you know, it

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was—my mom picked up Backstage, which was the trade paper at the time, and still is. And I–I forget, there was another one, I don't remember the name of it. And I had–had an agent, so I was modeling. So it–it was—my mom would drive me around, and I loved it.

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I really loved it up until I'd say my teen years, and that's when I really realized that I was like, “Oh, I'm different, this is gonna be really hard.” It's, you know, on the top of—topic of that was, I guess, acting or

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modeling kind of always like a dream or did that and did that kind of change, as you grew older? It's definitely changed as–as I've grown older, but it has always been something that I have enjoyed

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and loved. I think that as I’ve become—as I grew older and not in—it wasn't just like, “Oh, this is fun, I'm going to audition and I'm–I'm a kid and like, I'm just having fun.” And then I started, you know, after a while when you do start to get rejection, it kind of—you start to realize,

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“Oh, huh.” And then you start getting the feedback, “Well, she's just not Asian enough. We love her, but she doesn't fit the family or, you know, maybe you dye your hair darker, so that, you know, you can be more Asian

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presenting. Or let's–let's add some highlights, and–and maybe you'll pass more white.” So that's—and I would say that was around when I was like 13, around that age. That's kind of when I–I realized, “Oh, boy, this is gonna be really

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rough,” but I was very passionate about being a performer. And it was something that always called to me, I would say it's definitely evolved at—since I moved to New York City and have met a new group of

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people and then just found other passion projects and other things that have really given me a different perspective on life. And just the fact that there wasn't much representation for the mixed API voice.

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And that's something that I really wanted to create for myself was to find that community and give that community to people that live in the Midwest that don't necessarily see other people that look like them. So that's—I would say that–that is kind of how my—it has all

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evolved. I hope that makes sense. Yeah, and, you know, you mentioned a lo—kind of the whole, like being Asian, being mixed, especially in the—like the performing industry, there are some issues like back

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then and like even now. So could you kind of touch on, I guess, how that attitude has evolved, and how much it has like improved throughout the years? I think it’s evolved in the sense that there

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is more work available. It's still slim, in my opinion. But at the time, you know, growing up, there was like what? There was Joy Luck Club that came out when I was

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little. And that was it. And then you had Mulan—the animated series, the animated-animation. Otherwise, it was like every once in a while there would be an Asian person on TV or film, but they

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would be playing a stereotype. It wouldn't just be a person. And they would kind of be the butt of the joke. So I think now

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we are seeing a transition of “Oh, that's not cool. We can't do that anymore.” And that's because, you know, the younger generation—my generation we're starting to speak up and not that the older generation wasn't speaking up.

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It was just that now I think we have social media platforms to help amplify that. It–it wasn't like there wasn't people trying to get be—have the work done. There just wasn't that amplification of social media and people retweeting and reposting and now we have that.

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So I think that's what's really helped improve the visibility of Asian Americans on TV and film. I do think—and I've noticed recently—that

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a lot of movies and TV shows surrounding maybe the Asian narrative have kind of gone a little bit backwards in the sense that we have to once again know martial

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arts, and we once again have to speak an Asian language. And we're also like, somehow, maybe a mystical creature that has superpowers. We just aren't playing people.

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So I've kind of noticed that the trend is starting to kind of backtrack in a way. But at the same time, we have made leaps and bounds. I do think with the Me Too movement, that really helped

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people, especially within the entertainment industry say, “Hey, you can't say these racist things to me or ask me these racist questions, or put this in your script.” And I think that–that also really helped amplify the Asian American voice.

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There's–there's still, I think, a long, long way to go. Because we're still always very much other even like, I know that—I mean, I have people come up to me, and I was like, "What are you?

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You're so exotic." And it's like, “Oh, my gosh, I am American, I think, third generation.” And then they're like, “Oh, you don't look that—you know, you don't–you don't look Japanese." I've had someone fight with me that they

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thought I looked Ukrainian. And I'm like, “I'm not Ukrainian. Thank you. I'm not, but why are you fighting me on this?”

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Yeah, it's-it's really like problematic to hear that it's still so rampant, like even today. And also, yeah, go ahead. I think it's wild, even here in New York City where like, I mean, there's been so much hate

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crimes happening. And I have to say, I acknowledge my privilege in being mixed, that I don't necessarily have to worry about walking down the street as an Asian American woman, because people don't necessarily know what I am.

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So I–I totally acknowledge that–that I do not have the same—won't have—encounter the same problems. I still have to worry about being a woman walking down the street, but not necessarily being involved in a hate crime.

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But it's just amazing that here in New York City, where there's just so many beautiful colors, people and representation here that we have that and I've–I've had people follow me literally screaming, “What are you?

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Hey, I have a bet. What are you?” Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, given, like you mentioned, like the spike in like anti–Asian sentiment and violence. I guess, do you have any suggestions for

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how people of like Asian descent, you know, either mixed or–or not, to kind of dispel the climate? I think, speak up. If you see something, say something.

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There's a lot of awesome, like classes being offered for free, within various cities of–of—how to intervene when you see a violence–violence happening in a safe way, like how to intervene safely, I would say take those

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classes. I would say speak up, that your voice matters. And it really is just a matter of speaking up, not being afraid to–to say something. I–I don't think we have to assimilate

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or be the model majority, you know, I think we can just be human beings and just say “No, that's not cool.” And–and just keep–continue to share our stories, because stories and—are–are what connect us to everyone.

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You know, I–I really truly believe that if we could all sit down like just—we all could sit down and have some good food together, I think everything would be okay. So I would kind of like to shift to I guess some—your

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education and kind of your career experiences. So I guess the first question I have is, you know, your early experiences like modeling for children's clothing lines and ads.

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As a child, what–what did you kind of think of these endeavors? I thought it was so much fun. I have always loved fashion. And so getting to try on clothing and take

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photos—God, I was such a ham, it's so embarrassing. I just loved it so much. So I was actually so sad when I hit 13 and I was told, “Hey, you're not going to be able to have a career anymore

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as a model. You're too short.” It broke my heart, because I just loved it so much. And I can remember—so I–I did a ton of work for Mattel like Barbie and all their other little toys. And I was a hand model for a few Barbie

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doll boxes. And I just—it was so cool getting to go to Mattel, and they would show me all the toys that they're designing. And I would get to play with them before anyone else. So that was—it was just really

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fun. I really had a great time with that. It was a–it was a really unique experience, and I'm really happy to have had that. And yeah, your experience is also extended into like music as well.

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Like I learned that you were a part of the girl group Dream for a short period of time? So could–could you kind of tell us a bit about that? Sure. So when I was, oh gosh, I think 13—same–same

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timeline—13. I—my vocal coach had found out that this woman, Judith Fontaine, was forming an all group—girl group. So I auditioned and I got in

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along with three other girls. And from that, we became known as First Warning. And then we got picked up by this other producing group called, I think 2620 I want to say.

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The—one of the main producers on that,Vincent, and then I forget his last name—which probably just as well—he was also Lady Gaga's producer—was our producer, probably one of the most abusive human beings I've ever

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met. He was our main producer. And then eventually, from there, we moved to P. Diddy, and I left just as they joined Puff Daddy. It was not a

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good experience. It was–it was really not. They put us on very strict diets, and we had a very strict exercise regimen.

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So we had to run six miles every day plus other like strength training and classes. And then we would also have like dance rehearsal for four to six hours. Plus, we were in the recording studio that entire time. And it really just messed with, I think, everyone's

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heads, body image wise. It was really the first time that like I became aware of my body in a negative sense. Yeah, so the–the producers were very abusive.

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They didn't feed us, they didn't love us, it was just terrible, very verbally abusive. And then they–they really tried to play up my Asianness. So they would put me in, for the lack of a better word kind of

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like—I hate—very stereotypical clothing, right? Which they probably didn't even know the traditional names of this–of this stuff—I didn't at the time. So—and they forced me to dye my hair black, because they wanted me to present more Asian.

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And they really just wanted to exoticize me. And then, so I got out of it, because they—the producers wanted us to sign with P Diddy. But they didn't want us to look at the contract.

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They–they said our lawyer could not look at it. And so my mom was like, “Oh, hell no, she's not signing a contract without us letting the lawyer look at it.” And so they were like, “Okay, bye” which honestly was the best thing and ever.

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Yeah, I mean, it's great that you got out of that, honestly. Yeah. I've been kind of in touch with one of the other girl—former members, and she said that she wishes she had gotten out when I had.

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We–we–we—you know, they really pitted us against each other at the time. Like, they–they wanted the drama between the girls, they wanted that competitive nature, they didn't want—it wasn't like “Girl power, let's uplift women, supporting women.” It was very much dog eats

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dog. And it's been kind of nice now having that closure of reconnecting of a few of the girls and–and being like, “Oh, hey, you had a terrible experience? So did I. We both had terrible experiences.

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They pitted us against each other. Let's be friends now.” You know. And so I don't know if the performing industry or music industry is like that now, but would you say

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that's, I guess, one of the dark sides of the industry that, like most people don't know about or, like hear about, especially? I would say so. I would say because these—they're like, you know, Mongols.

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They're like—like they they have such power, you know, they–they—that once again until like, really the Me Too movement, I don't think that anyone would have listened. I–I forget which artist it was, but she had brought allegations

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against her producers for a lot of misconduct. And she brought them to court and they like tried to silence her very, very terribly. You know, we—everyone knows, it's,—I think it's not a secret

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within the industry that it's dark, and that there's a lot of bad things that happen. It's just the “Well, if you want to make it you're going to do whatever they say you're gonna do.” But definitely to an

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outsider looking in, they just see the glamour or the photoshoots, you know, fancy–fancy clothing. They don't see the–the abuse that happens. You know,

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not to make this depressing, but I guess like on that, on that experience, like were there any times in your life where you thought like, “Maybe I should do something else?” Or were you always

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like “Gun-Gung ho, this is what I want to do?” I had for a while thought—I mean I grad—so I graduated high school two years early. So at the time, I was like, “I don't really want to go to college. I'm already doing what I want to do.” Maybe I'll go to

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culinary school. So I played around with the idea for a while and I actually recently revisited that idea and-and nixed it. So I feel pretty good at that decision.

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But there really wasn't anything at the time that really piqued my interest other than performing—it–it just—it was always something that, really, I–I wanted to do. And,

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you know, I learned that you've played in numerous musicals and plays. You're very—obvious-obviously very passionate about theater. So I guess when did you discover like theater as a

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passion? Well, my first show was when I was five years old, and I was the little girl in Gigi at the Grand Dinner Theatre. And then I played Molly in Annie, and at one point, I think when I was seven and eight, I worked on a cruise ship even doing Meet Me in St.

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Louis. So I–I just always loved being onstage as a kid. And–and even as an adult, I still enjoy I just—there's a lot of things I'm aware of now within the industry that make me kind of go “Ew.

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I don't know–I don't know how I feel about theatre anymore. There's a lot that needs to change around.” You know, the POC and the BIPOC narrative, and–and all that I think that needs to really change. It's such a white centric field.

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So I–I–I—and there's just a lot of anxiety surrounding—being in those spaces, now, for myself. And–and I know for many other actors, I have to

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say that like, having 2020—to kind of not have to hustle as hard for the auditions and just kind of sit and be was really a wonderful thing. It really gave me time to reflect about what my values are and what I will

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and will not do. You know, on the topic of theater, like, maybe could you take me through the preparation for playing a role, like in a play, and perhaps you could do it in the context of a play you were recently a part of.

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Sure, so I guess the most recent role, like a book play that people will be familiar with is the 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee. So I got to play Logainne Schwartzandgrubenierre who is usually

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played by a usually white person. So I–I think I–I tried to do a lot of research and find out—but I'm pretty sure I'm the first Asian American to play this role. So that was really cool.

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And I just—I–I love this part. So for me the—what went into that was coaching with my voice teacher on the music. Making sure that everything had sat within my voice in a comfortable way and that I

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wasn't pushing and–and it just—I learned the music that way. And also, I would watch like bootleg copies of different versions of the show, just to get an idea of the overall character

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other than what is on the book, just to see what other people brought to the table. And then from there, I just put myself into it a lot. Like, I really related to this character. She is a go-getter, and

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she has high anxiety. So I was just like, “Hey, I get to play myself for a change. I get to just—I can just be an anxious mess on stage and it's perfect.” So yeah.

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And it was just a lot of, you know, for me, memorization comes pretty easily. I—knock on wood—I've been always very gifted with that. So I like being memorized, usually, before I go into the rehearsal room, if I can.

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Or at least be very comfortable with the material so that way, I'm not scrambling. So I usually try to be very prepared, just so that I can then actually enjoy the process, and I'm not stressing too much.

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And also, it just depends on how long of rehearsal process you have, and what the timeline is. Sometimes, like, for instance, I—when I did Into the Woods, I knew I booked the part like months ahead of time, and I knew we only were going to have like five days of rehearsal to put

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Into the Woods on its feet, and that is an extremely technically difficult show to sing. So I made sure that like I learned all my music as best as I could prior to coming into the rehearsal room

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just because I knew there wouldn't be enough time to actually—”Hey, can you go over that again? Can you do that again? Can you count out my–my harmony there?” So I just really try to be as prepared as possible with that. Sounds like very intense.

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Would you say, especially during like rehearsal, there are a lot of like after hours work like your worked when— Oh, constantly. I mean, another thing I recently joined is the Randy

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Andys—it's a singing group inspired by the Andrews Sisters. So I was given 16 songs of harmony to learn and only nine hours of in person rehearsal with the girls, which is

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nothing. And that's including like dancing—I had to like watch the videos that they have recorded and learn–learn the dance moves from the-from the–from the recordings. So for me, I was, you know, I'm navigating all the Zoom meetings I'm doing for my magazine

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and festival and then, you know, auditions that I have to self tape for, and then trying to learn all this music. So I was probably going until after midnight a lot of times. I was like, “Okay, my cut off is at

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midnight, I just got to get this down.” And that's what I was doing leading up until the first show. So there's a lot of, you know, like–like you get this— you get paid, but if you actually break

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down how much time and effort that you put into the projects, it's like pennies that you're getting paid per hour. Blood, sweat and tears, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah, you–you really—anyone who goes into this industry,

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thinking that they're doing it for money, or the fame is–is going to be very surprised. And granted, there are instances where like someone's first audition for a movie, and then suddenly they're a star, like-like that

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does happen, but it's very rare. Yeah. And, you know, I looked at kind of your like resume on your website, and you’re skilled in things like fencing, ballet, like tap dancing, just to name a few,

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actually. So I guess what motivated you to pursue like training in these areas. And is it mostly like to help your career I guess? Yeah, so, if you're going to be in musical theatre, you have to have a background in

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ballet, tap, and jazz and musical theatre. I have a s—very small background in hip hop, it's—I'm not good at it so it's just—and I'm not really good at ballet either, but you have to at least have the

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basics. Especially if you want to pursue theater, you just do—musical theatre. Fencing was really for me. I always have enjoyed

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watching the sport, so I really got into it when I was 17 until I was like 20. They wanted me to join the team—be on the women's team and like start competing competitively.

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And I was like, “No, no, no, my life is already competitive enough with auditions, I just want to–I just want to stab people. I want to have fun,” I’m actually looking at, starting to learn—

00:27:23.660 - 00:27:37.900

It's so funny when I just said, “Oh, things are going kind of backwards where Asian Americans have to know martial arts.” So I've always been very interested in learning like how to sword fight, like with a katana. So I'm actually going to start taking lessons in that, coming up.

00:27:38.330 - 00:27:51.700

And that's just something I've always been interested in, I just—I haven't had the time. And now that I'm out of school, I was like, “Well, why not? Why not pursue that?” So I would say for training, yeah, you

00:27:51.700 - 00:28:02.250

definitely—if you're going to be in musical theatre, you have to have the basics: tap, jazz, and ballet under your belt and any other skill sets is even better. If you do gymnastics, wonderful.

00:28:02.250 - 00:28:15.060

Though I can honestly say no one really wants to be tumbling eight shows a week. I have many friends who were like, “Oh—” like booked a show because they tumble and then they were like “I should have never raised my hand when

00:28:15.060 - 00:28:28.790

I—when they asked if anyone tumbled. Oh, this is killing my body.” Yeah. Like speaking of school, I saw that you recently graduated with a

00:28:28.790 - 00:28:42.680

bachelor's in theatre. What pushed you to— I'm sorry, what? I–I–I it's a dance—I have a bachelor's in dance. Oh, okay–okay. Sorry.

00:28:44.450 - 00:28:56.740

So I guess what pushed you to obtain this degree in recent years or like why now? I was so close to graduating. I literally had 10 units, like was shy 10 units.

00:28:57.070 - 00:29:11.430

And I thought I should–I should just go back to school and get my—finish getting my degree. I had been at Cal State Long Beach previously. And I was doing the

00:29:11.620 - 00:29:26.100

Broadway production on Broadway tour of How the Grinch Stole Christmas at the Pantages Theater. And I saw that some of my fellow students were doing like the Halloween Horror Nights at the Queen Mary.

00:29:27.060 - 00:29:41.880

And they were getting credit for—like school credit for their performance as a monster. So I had asked, “Hey, I'm in this, you know, basically a Broadway show. Can I get credit?” And they're like, “No, there's no way we can grade you on this.”

00:29:43.110 - 00:29:55.200

And that was really frustrating. And then I was told I would have to take beginning movement for actors at the school, meanwhile, I've had this entire career as a performer and beginning voice as well.

00:29:55.200 - 00:30:06.520

And I tried to contest and I was like, “Hey, can I test out of this? You can see my resume. I'm happy to-to present something to you.” “No, you have to take this, don't you want a college experience?” I was like,

00:30:06.520 - 00:30:17.750

“No, I really just want my degree.” So one of my professors, Craig Fleming —love this man, he was an Imagineer at Disney for many years— really encouraged me to—he's like, “You don't need us.” He's like,

00:30:17.950 - 00:30:31.600

“If I were you, I would find a different avenue to pursue your degree.” So that's when I left Cal State Long Beach, and I heard about LEAP, which is an accelerated program specifically for dancers and performers at St. Mary's College in Northern California.

00:30:32.680 - 00:30:49.070

And so I joined that. And then I was doing that for a few years, like about a year-two years, and then I moved to New York City, and I went, “Oh my god, there's no way I can do school, and try to actually really pursue being a

00:30:49.070 - 00:30:59.470

performer.” It was just too much. It was too overwhelming for me at the time. So now—and now like I really felt—I feel very rooted. I feel really grounded.

00:30:59.840 - 00:31:09.380

So to—I guess, like a year and a half ago, I was like, “You know what, why not? Maybe I'll–I'll go back to school. I only have 10 units. Let's–let's just get it done. It's—why not?”

00:31:10.600 - 00:31:24.820

And I did. And I'm–I'm really happy. I–I was—I'm the first student of the LEAP program to win the Dean's Award for academic excellence and community engagement from St. Mary's. And I've been told

00:31:24.820 - 00:31:37.650

it's a big deal? I was like, “Oh, cool. I got this placard.” Thank you, and, you know, I made the Dean's list and honor student and like I—totally overachieving, but I–I–I wasn't

00:31:37.740 - 00:31:51.190

intentional. I wasn't trying to win any accolades. I just—yeah, they were really supportive of combining the work I do with my magazine and my studies, so I would have like independent study time. So for my

00:31:51.190 - 00:32:02.640

senior project, for example, I created a marketing plan specifically for my magazine. And that–that–that counted towards my senior project.

00:32:03.110 - 00:32:17.910

And then for my last project, I created another marketing plan for the festival that my company is throwing. And it was kind of nice, because I was killing two birds with one stone. So yeah, I want to talk a bit

00:32:17.910 - 00:32:32.880

about your, like your magazine. But before that, I have a quick question about roles in acting and choosing them. Have you ever turned down a role because you thought it

00:32:33.050 - 00:32:48.300

misrepresented Asians or Asian Americans? I turned down an audition, for sure. Usually, I won't get to that point where I book a show, like, I will read the script for an—the audition, and then decide.

00:32:49.190 - 00:33:06.820

So recently, there was a video game voiceover job. And it was very like “She's a big breasted, Asian, exotic woman.” And I was reading this description, and

00:33:06.820 - 00:33:19.070

then this monologue she had to say about having a threesome, and I just went, “No, no, no I am not auditioning.” So I call my—I email my agent. I said, “Hey, I'm really uncomfortable with this.” I know

00:33:19.070 - 00:33:32.370

this video game company. I can't–I can't say what it is just because—but if you would, they're well known for like, you kill prostitutes in our video game, stuff like that. And I just went, “Mmm...” I

00:33:32.400 - 00:33:41.420

said—unless—I said, “I'm sorry, I can't do this. This is just really uncomfortable for me.” And then my–my agent called me and he's like, “I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I submitted you for this.

00:33:41.510 - 00:33:49.660

I didn't even really look at the breakdown. I was just like, ‘Oh, 20s, sure. Asian American, I’ll submit her!” He's like, “I am so sorry.

00:33:49.740 - 00:34:04.640

Please let me know if that ever comes up again.” There's been a couple of other auditions where they wanted, you know, kind of like, “resh Off the Boat”, Asian accent and I'll–I'll–I'll just be like, you know, “Hey, I'm not comfortable with this.

00:34:05.880 - 00:34:16.740

Sorry, I'm not gonna audition.” And my agents have been very respectful of that. And a lot of times, you know, yes, I'm an actor. But sometimes it's very—especially because I am mixed.

00:34:17.090 - 00:34:27.650

I am third generation American. It's really—it just feels disingenuous to me. So I've gotten better about saying no, you know, granted back when I was younger,

00:34:28.520 - 00:34:40.430

you couldn't—you really just couldn't say no. If–if you did, the agents didn't understand, casting didn't understand. And you had to go with it. But things have changed, luckily.

00:34:42.190 - 00:34:54.210

Sadly, though, there are still these roles, the stereotypical roles out there, that you do have to go, “Ugh, am I really gonna audition for this?” I even had my agent—there was an audition for a nail technician. And I was like—he's like, “Do

00:34:54.210 - 00:35:01.910

you really want audition for this? You don't have to do this.” And I said, “Hey, does she have to have an accent? Does it say anything around that? No, she doesn't.” “Well, I'm gonna audition.

00:35:02.030 - 00:35:13.140

And I'll bring just myself to the table. And we'll see.” You know, didn't get it, but because I knew–I knew what they wanted—but I wasn't gonna do it. And I kind of went just to be like, “Hey, I'm not going to do what

00:35:15.880 - 00:35:30.200

you want.” You know, actually, were there any times I guess, in your early career, or even now where you face like outright discrimination due to ethnicity or race?

00:35:31.940 - 00:35:46.010

I mean, they're not supposed to ask you what you are in the room. It's illegal. Like it's actually illegal. But I've been asked in the room of an audition, the casting has asked me, “What are you?” And they can't ask me that.

00:35:47.220 - 00:35:57.720

So that I–I feel that's very discrimination. They're not asking a white person walking through and what they are. So they would say that or you know, “Can–can you Asian it up more?

00:35:57.720 - 00:36:07.650

Can you give us a little Asian accent?” And you're like, “What does that mean? What does Asian accent mean?” And I know what it means—we all know what it means. It means, you know, like, make your R's

00:36:07.880 - 00:36:19.610

L's and the L's R's and then they wanted something just so stereotypical that it means nothing. And I've had that in the room. Many times. It's luckily—now, they don't do that.

00:36:20.470 - 00:36:32.200

But I would say like five years ago, they still were doing that. Yeah, so moving on now to, I guess, your community involvements and like activism, I'm curious to

00:36:32.200 - 00:36:47.580

learn how you came to be like the creator and editor in chief of, you know, Mixed Asian Media. Sure. So I started off writing a blog when I moved to the city called “Me So Hapa.” I wanted to play on the words and kind of take back the power of you know, the–the stereotypical

00:36:47.580 - 00:37:00.330

phrase “me so horny.” So I was kind of playing on that and just being like, you know, “I'm going to take this power back.” And, you know, I—course now that there's a lot of—that has changed involved around the word “Hapa,” but we can get into that in a little bit.

00:37:01.210 - 00:37:14.140

And it just kind of became too much for me to run by myself. So I was fortunate enough to meet a ton of mixed API actors in New York. And I was like, “Hey, you know what

00:37:14.140 - 00:37:26.890

would be really cool—because there's nothing else out there like it—what if we started our own magazine, and it could just be a lifestyle magazine? We can cover basically whatever we want, we can interview people, and it'll just be something fun.” And so that's how Hapa Mag came

00:37:27.870 - 00:37:42.770

about. We have since rebranded to Mixed Asian Media, in part because of we—there has been, what's the word? The word Hapa has—it's kind of loaded.

00:37:44.400 - 00:37:59.540

And the word Hapa came about because of the colonization of Hawaii, right? Yes, it is a way that many mixed Asians do identify. But a lot of people don't necessarily know the origins of the word and the

00:37:59.610 - 00:38:12.320

history of the word. So out of respect to our indigenous Native Hawaiians, we have decided to change the word—change—not use that word within our magazine. I believe you can identify any way you would like, as long as

00:38:12.320 - 00:38:24.990

you're being respectful. You know, it—I think Hapa has been a way to unify the Mixed API community and it's—I personally think it's better than being called halfie. I don't like being called halfie.

00:38:26.380 - 00:38:42.840

And I don't identify as Hafu because I am not Japanese Japanese. And yeah, so Mixed Asian Media then came about because we wanted to be respectful of the word Hapa. And make sure that we weren't, you know, stealing a word to

00:38:42.860 - 00:38:49.100

speak, you know what I mean? We want to be sure we're very respectful of that. And also our brand has grown so much, we have a festival now.

00:38:49.120 - 00:39:04.010

We don't want to just be a digital online magazine, we want to be a media platform that has podcasts that has, you know, video content that can be so much more. So that was also part of the reason to rename to Mixed Asian Media.

00:39:07.770 - 00:39:21.890

Could you kind of go a bit more into detail about some of the content you guys post? I know you said it was supposed to be like whatever, but— Oh it's definitely it's–it's we've you know—if you go on to our website now and you

00:39:21.890 - 00:39:34.530

look back at our first issue it was like “Whoa, they were–they were very—they were newbies at this.” It's define-we definitely have—our skill set has evolved and I think we've definitely gotten better thankfully. So we

00:39:34.530 - 00:39:50.090

know—first we started off with like I—luckily you know being in the entertainment industry. I do have connections to like more well known actors or—and so was able to at least get for the first issue a couple of up and coming mixed API's for the—to interview and then we-we just had you

00:39:50.090 - 00:39:59.700

know, like, “What color lipstick looks best on mixed asians” and stuff like that—fun stuff. You know, skincare for mixed Asians, because it is different.

00:39:59.860 - 00:40:11.360

And I—my aesthetician is mixed Chinese, so she has a lot to say on that. So she was writing articles for us. It has since evolved now to the point where PR

00:40:13.310 - 00:40:22.780

companies reach out to us. We're not like begging them for interviews. They're asking us, “Hey, I have this person, this person, can you interview them? Are you sure you can't interview them?

00:40:22.780 - 00:40:33.740

We really would want you to interview them.” And we have to say no, sometimes, which is kind of cool. So it has evolved from like us sending out these emails being like, “Hi, we would really love to interview so and so.

00:40:34.180 - 00:40:44.870

You know, we're beginning out—” and now we can be like, “Hey, we've interviewed Jessica Henwick. We've interviewed Apolo Ohno. You know, Ja–Jason Tobin, and just—Japanese Breakfast, we would like

00:40:44.870 - 00:40:56.520

to interview your person.” And they're usually like, “Oh, yeah, wow, cool. Yes, we want to, please.” We were also,you know, getting to—gotten to the point where production companies or major-or major

00:40:56.520 - 00:41:10.810

groups like Netflix, and Disney are giving us money to set up photoshoots with their clients. And that's been really cool. It's been a really awesome, surprising thing that's

00:41:11.050 - 00:41:21.000

happened very recently. So now we're able to do–to do that, where we will be flying out to LA for a photoshoot, which I would never have thought would be possible.

00:41:22.480 - 00:41:37.440

Yeah. And I had to turn down, and I think it was Jason-Jason Tobin? I had to turn down an interview recently with someone, and I felt bad, but we had—just had him in our recent like two issues ago, and this one was only going to be a 10 minute interview and I was like,

00:41:38.630 - 00:41:50.570

“I-I'm sorry, unless you can give us like a photoshoot with him or something to go alongside, it's just—it's really not worth our time and energy.” So we're trying to be a little better and be a little pickier. Work smarter, not

00:41:50.570 - 00:42:05.300

harder, is what we're trying to do. Easier said than done. We did set up a paywall, which we are now taking back because we–we had thought that it would be a

00:42:05.300 - 00:42:20.400

good way to help pay for the expenses because we are all volunteer organization. No one gets paid, I pay for everything out of my pocket, website, taxes, studio rentals. So we had thought that “Okay, well,

00:42:20.400 - 00:42:36.800

maybe we can set up a paywall and-and that would be a way to get some income in to help, maybe, start paying our writers, because everyone works so hard.” I—so but that, sadly kind of—it didn't backfire, we had to try it out. We were being encouraged by many, many prominent people in our lives

00:42:36.940 - 00:42:48.120

that “You guys need to have a paywall, you guys need to have a paywall.” Well, we tried it, the numbers don't lie. So we're removing the paywall. And there's other ways we can monetize-monetize, and we're going to go

00:42:48.120 - 00:43:00.470

with that instead. Yeah. It's–It's good to hear that, you know, the magazine's getting so much like, good feedback, good exposure as well.

00:43:00.820 - 00:43:15.380

You know, it—we started with, we were mentioned in the 2020 Nielsen Consumer Report on Asian Americans. We were one of three online magazines listed, and that's really what kind of like blew us up. And we've been mentioned in like a BuzzFeed article.

00:43:16.240 - 00:43:29.360

There's a couple other articles we’ve been mentioned in as well. So it's–it's kind of like, “Whoa, we're actually you know—” I want us to be the number one leading platform for mixed API's and–and—knock on wood—so far we are.

00:43:32.060 - 00:43:45.700

And so would you say that the magazine's mostly targeted towards like mixed Asians? Like kind of that crowd? Absolutely. I mean, we say we—you know, everyone is welcome to read our articles.

00:43:45.700 - 00:43:56.400

And I think a lot of people can relate to our stories. You know, at some point or another, every person has had a moment of like, identity crisis. I don't care if you're full or whatever, you–you have those moments.

00:43:56.400 - 00:44:05.840

So I think our stories definitely resonate. And I–I definitely believe that we mixed people, bridge cultures and creeds and just basically everything is kind of our superpower.

00:44:06.900 - 00:44:21.980

And it's a good way to connect people and unite people. So I think that, yes, we are geared towards the mixed API experience, but I think that everyone will find something that they connect with what if they read our articles and interviews

00:44:22.010 - 00:44:39.920

of different people. And you kind of touched upon this, but do you have like a future vision for Mixed Asian Media? Um, you know, I have a couple different scenarios in my mind.

00:44:39.950 - 00:44:55.220

Like, we keep going on the trajectory that we're going and just get more numbers and then, you know, investors will want to invest in us advertisers will want to like show their products on our page. And that will be a way for us to get revenue

00:44:55.300 - 00:45:07.890

or another option I-I'm not opposed to is possibly being bought out by another bigger company, but I would still love to maintain, you know, the cr—control the creative side. And that's always, you know, kind of like sticky.

00:45:09.650 - 00:45:20.900

It's a–it's a—I'm open to it. So I would not be opposed if like Vice is like, “Hey, we want to bring you guys on.” But there would have to be like, I have a lot of kind of roles and stuff. Like

00:45:20.900 - 00:45:37.010

I'd want everyone to keep their place, and I'd want them—everyone to get paid and be under, you know, it—there's a lot of moving parts, but that's kind of what I would hope. And I guess I just hope that I would love for this to become my—it already is really my full time job,

00:45:38.400 - 00:45:55.460

but I would love for it to like money-wise be my full time job. Gotcha. And, you know–you know, as like an activist, like in the community, was there any like

00:45:55.460 - 00:46:10.500

circumstance or like specific period of time in your life where you're like, “Okay, like, I need to take a stand or I need to do something?” Gosh, it's so–so interesting to be called an activist because I don't really think of

00:46:10.520 - 00:46:25.500

myself that way. There are so many other people like out there in the trenches, pounding the pavement really doing the hard, brunt sweaty work. And I just try to amplify my community's voices on–on social

00:46:25.500 - 00:46:42.000

media and online. I would say for me—I mean, I guess I believe that making your presence known is a form of activism. And I always would say to my fellow Asian actors and BIPOC

00:46:42.070 - 00:46:55.940

actors, “Show up to the audition. Just show up, I don't care that it says only seeking white people show up.” That in itself is a form of like protest or activism saying “We are here and we're going to be seen.” I

00:46:56.340 - 00:47:06.980

think that's kind of how it started for me. But there are so many other people that really are doing the hard, hard work. And I just hope that my platform can help amplify their voices.

00:47:09.660 - 00:47:26.150

And, you know, I also learned that you are part of the "We're Not All Ninjas" podcast , which provides a commentary on, you know, Hollywood movies that star or involve like Asian American actors or actors of Asian descent.

00:47:27.460 - 00:47:40.130

Yeah, so I guess kind of tell me a bit about like— Melissa-Melissa Slaughter and Rachel Liu, were—Melissa Slaughter is the main producer and then Rachel Liu and I were also co–hosts on it.

00:47:40.610 - 00:47:50.870

And Melissa had this idea because she was like, “Hey, there's no podcast out there talking about Asian American representation infilm, TV, the arts—there just isn't.” And she was right at the time when we started.

00:47:51.260 - 00:48:04.800

There wasn't anything. So that's why we started it. Because there was nothing talking about it. We decided we were going to dissect like Joy Luck Club, Mulan. We wanted to do the Alo—like

00:48:04.850 - 00:48:15.370

Aloha that–that film with a—what's her name? Oh, gosh, what's her name? That's terrible. Who was like, “I'm part Chinese. Just kidding. I'm not, I'm just a white girl.”

00:48:18.280 - 00:48:30.910

She just played Cruella in Cruella. God bless, I can't remember her name. Anyways, so we didn't cover that. We were going to but we both were like, “Oh God, I don't think I can sit through this

00:48:30.980 - 00:48:47.140

and then dissect this film.” So we just really—I don't know—I hope that like us calling attention to, you know, Ghost in the Shell, and really talking about how this was Asian erasure. It wasn't just yellow face.

00:48:47.140 - 00:49:02.070

It was complete Asian erasure, that-that kind of helped spearhead, maybe, this movement to make Hollywood less white, and make yellow face not okay. And that's really what the podcast was for—was to just start amplifying our voices

00:49:02.090 - 00:49:12.790

and start talking about our stories and be like, “Hey, this—hey, Memoirs Of a Geisha. This was really kind of a shitty movie. You know, let's talk about it from a male centric point of view.

00:49:13.550 - 00:49:23.080

These–these women that were in the—” yeah. So we—I think we just brought a whole 'nother' level that wasn't there in the podcast world at the time. We have since stopped, which is fine.

00:49:23.110 - 00:49:31.560

I think we might eventually do like just a final episode of like, “Hey, thank you for listening for all these years. But we've all become so busy. Rachel has like blown up

00:49:31.660 - 00:49:47.410

as this major producer, and Melissa now is working for this major podcasting company. So we just don't have the time.” Are there any other like community involvements that I guess you'd like to talk about

00:49:48.400 - 00:50:06.320

or share? Um, as far as different organizations that I work with, or—? Yeah, anything, I guess, that you're involved with, or you would just like to talk about— organizations, projects,

00:50:07.150 - 00:50:22.190

anything like that. So I would say like we've been really fortunate that we have this amazing fiscal sponsor for the festival, Leviathan Lab, which is a BIPOC run theatre company. And they are our fiscal sponsor, and

00:50:22.190 - 00:50:33.850

they're a wonderful organization led by Ariel Estrada. And he's just been such an amazing supportive human being for basically any endeavor and project that I have done from when I was producing cabarets

00:50:34.760 - 00:50:50.000

in–in New York City to now the magazine to now the festival, he's always just had my back—and same with National Asian Artists Project. They've done a lot with the Asian American community and the child—like kids, they have amazing program for kids and Baayork Lee , who

00:50:50.940 - 00:51:01.560

is just—she's paved the path for so many of us in the theatre arts community. She'–she's quite the like living legend. She—her organization's wonderful, you know, there's Ma-Yi

00:51:01.560 - 00:51:16.290

Theater Company, there's NAATCO, I mean, there's East West Players is another amazing organization that I grew up doing theatre with. This new–this new organization called Strong Asian Lead, run by my friend David is wonderful, and I highly recommend it.

00:51:16.670 - 00:51:31.930

He's one of our sponsors for the festival as well. Yeah, there's just a lot of amazing groups out there that are doing really great work. And–and then The Mixed oh—The Mixed Space is also a really cool–cool project as well.

00:51:31.930 - 00:51:43.180

Lunar: Asian Jews—the Asian Jewish project is also another cool organization. It's just really awesome to see all these groups that are having their voices, like, heard and amplified.

00:51:43.850 - 00:52:00.540

I think it's so important to show that being Asian doesn't mean XYZ, it means you can come in all these different shapes, sizes and colors, you know. And I think it's really cool that these organizations are out there helping amplify that.

00:52:00.630 - 00:52:16.330

I'd like to shift a bit to more of your family and personal life. You know, at this point, it seems that like many of us can see the light at like the end of the tun-tunnel with regards to, you know, the pandemic. So when the pandemic was at its worst,

00:52:17.230 - 00:52:34.700

like a lot of people, you know, were struggling. So, I don't know, if you did anything to like cope with the pandemic, especially like during lockdown. Um, so the beginning part of the pandemic–pandemic was really hard.

00:52:35.180 - 00:52:46.120

My dad was dying of cancer at the time, and his oncologist and his doctors are like, “You can't—” I wanted to fly back for him—they were like, “You can't fly back because you can't see him.

00:52:46.330 - 00:52:58.030

We don't know, the contagion there”—you know, there wasn't testing happening at the time, really, unless you were like, full blown, had COVID. So I wasn't able to get back to my dad before he passed.

00:52:58.410 - 00:53:12.780

So that was really hard. Yeah, literally said goodbye to him the day before he passed by FaceTime, and he could barely hold the phone. He was at the hospital by himself. They wouldn't let any family members in because it was smack in the like—when

00:53:12.940 - 00:53:24.730

pandemic was at its worst. So my mom couldn't be with him, his sister couldn't be with him, his mom couldn't be with him. And I couldn't. We couldn't even have a funeral. We still—we had a Zoom funeral.

00:53:26.080 - 00:53:41.760

We still haven't really had a funeral, it's–it's weird. So that was really hard. I didn't see my mom and grandma for over a year and a half, which was really hard. Yeah, it was–it was–it was–it was really a dark time.

00:53:41.920 - 00:53:54.600

I lost out on jobs. Thank God that you know that the unemployment benefits kicked in. Which also then brought to light how backwards our economy

00:53:54.600 - 00:54:07.480

is and how backwards the system is, if many of us are as artists are making, and not just artists, just human beings are making more money from unemployment, and having a more livable wage now than we have ever had before.

00:54:08.390 - 00:54:22.150

And I think that is something that's really been brought to light as well. But it was–it was hard. It was very hard. If it wasn't for having school and having like deadlines of like, “Okay, you got to get this essay done. You got to get this reading done.” I thrive off

00:54:22.150 - 00:54:34.080

structure. I love structure, having my magazine. And our weekly meetings with my team that really helped to get me through the pandemic. It was scary here.

00:54:34.550 - 00:54:53.520

I mean, I'm sure you saw on the news how terrifying New York City was. So it was–it was not a good time. I'm so sorry to hear about your father. And, you know, the pandemic, there's—brought to light a lot

00:54:53.520 - 00:55:03.660

of issues like you said, and yeah, like I'm just glad we're past it now— And hopefully it stays that way. You know? Right?

00:55:03.960 - 00:55:13.970

Delta variant. I mean, if you look at India, what's happening there? I'm just like, “Guys, how—”I don't understand how communities of people can say that like COVID doesn't kill.

00:55:15.050 - 00:55:25.970

It–it looks like the apocalypse in India. And it looks like it here. Yeah. So I–I I'm trying to be optimistic,

00:55:26.040 - 00:55:37.270

but I'm also, I guess—my—as my therapist says, I'm a realist. So I don't know that—I'm–I'm not ready to be like “There's a light at the end of the tunnel.” I'm not quite ready for that yet.

00:55:39.610 - 00:55:53.760

You know, like, on a more–more positive note, I guess. Your website mentions that you're a crazy cat lady. So, can you tell me a bit about your cats, and I guess the influence they've had on your life?

00:55:54.470 - 00:56:02.390

Oh, I—so I have my–my cat Moget. He's literally on the floor right here—he's fast asleep. He's a–he's a little black cat. I found him on the streets of New York City.

00:56:02.820 - 00:56:15.730

He literally walked up to me, walked over and I was like, “I guess I have a kitty, now.” I didn't grow up with animals. Just because, you know, I was running around so much with my family to auditions and doing shows just—it would have

00:56:15.760 - 00:56:26.160

been ridiculous to have a pet and not fair to the pet. So I have a—I did get a cat back home, which is really more my family's cat, now. His name is Moogle. He's a terror.

00:56:26.640 - 00:56:38.090

He just screams all day long at my grandmother. Like bosses her around like, he wants the bedroom to himself. So he will scream at her until she leaves her room.

00:56:39.010 - 00:56:53.270

He's terrible. This cat is a—he can be a cuddle bug, and he can also be a terror, he'll bite you. He's my little feral kitty, but he's a love bug. So I–I say I'm a crazy cat lady just because like I

00:56:53.270 - 00:57:13.130

can spend hours on Instagram just looking at cat videos and be very happy with that. Like my husband and I will watch videos of cats all day, no shame. You're also sharing a recipe with us, your Jewish grandmother's

00:57:14.080 - 00:57:28.900

beef and cabbage recipe. So maybe tell us a bit about like why it's so special, and kind of its importance to you. So this recipe was brought from Romania, to Paris, and

00:57:28.900 - 00:57:38.420

then to the States. So it's been in my family for generations. And it's special to me, because my grandmother would only make it like for

00:57:38.570 - 00:57:49.910

fanc—like fancy special occasions, even though really this recipe is like peasant food. I mean, it's marrow bones, and beef and cabbage and rice, like how basic can you really get, right? But she would only make it for

00:57:49.910 - 00:58:01.890

special occasions, so that's why it's just like, “Ooo, my grandma's making this recipe. It's like, fancy dinner time!” Even though like it's–it's not at all—it's peasant food. So that's—the fact that she even

00:58:01.890 - 00:58:13.010

finally gave me the recipe was like pulling teeth to make that happen and–and trying to get her to write down like exact measurements. That's–that's not a thing. That's just not a thing. It's like you just put some

00:58:13.010 - 00:58:24.620

of this and you put some of this and it has to taste this way. And it's like, “Okay, I think I can do that.” Otherwise, like, yeah, I don't really have any recipes on my dad's side. Like I said he would make Chinese

00:58:24.620 - 00:58:41.380

chicken salad in the garbage bag, and no one wants that. I remember one time he made it in one of those garbage bags that like had like some sort of chemical in it, you know? Like, and we were like, “We can't

00:58:41.690 - 00:58:59.710

eat this, this will literally poison us all.” Yeah. Well, you know, the beauty about like family recipes is just like how there's—it's not like—there's no like straight like formula to it, right?

00:58:59.710 - 00:59:10.420

Like it's just passed down. Just do it. And, you know, comes out as a product. Yeah I think you know—I know I kind of—it–it will never taste exactly like how my

00:59:10.420 - 00:59:26.260

grandma's does, but I can get it pretty close, which is good. I've had a lot of practice, that's something I really love to do is–is cook my grandmother's food recipes, especially because they live so far away from me. And, you

00:59:26.880 - 00:59:40.240

know, I'd like to talk a bit about your identity like growing up. So I know that you mentioned that you're kind of isolated from like the Jewish and Japanese cultures. But, you know, as a

00:59:40.240 - 00:59:56.250

child, did you ever feel that you were different I guess like in a sense? And did you ever want to fit in or did that even like matter to you? Um, it's weird because like I grew up in a very predominantly

00:59:56.350 - 01:00:06.340

white school. So yep, we did—yeah, I don't—there wasn't—I think it was maybe like two other Asian kids in class with me and that's it. I was

01:00:06.340 - 01:00:20.690

the only Jewish kid. So I experienced a lot of anti-Semitism for being Jewish. Didn't—kind of got made fun of for like when I would have matzo or a rice ball for lunch,

01:00:20.690 - 01:00:33.660

stuff like that. My mom–my mom makes good Japanese rice balls, ironically. So they would, you know, make fun of you that way. I–I didn't—I didn't ever try to fit in because

01:00:33.890 - 01:00:46.810

I just kind of like, “Well, this is me.” I was always told growing up I was an old soul, so I kind of just ran with it. I'm not sure if that's necessarily true. But I had a hard time

01:00:46.810 - 01:00:57.190

relating to kids my age. I had a really hard time connecting with them. I could-I could connect with kids in the show business a little bit–a little bit, depending on the kid.

01:00:57.540 - 01:01:11.390

There's some—there were some brats . But it was just—I always felt more at home, like with around adults than I did with children. So when I was in seventh grade, I went—I was home—I–I became homeschooled just because

01:01:12.840 - 01:01:26.000

the teachers at that junior high were refusing to give me my school work when I was on set. Yeah. Which is, I think, illegal. And my mom was just like, “Do you—how would you feel about going being homeschooled?” I

01:01:26.000 - 01:01:36.660

was like, “Yes, please.” I was getting really bullied at school, just cause I was kind of different, so. I never dressed like a normal kid. Like, I was very edgy, always.

01:01:36.660 - 01:01:49.250

And maybe fashion forward, I should say, and I got made fun of that for that a lot. So I–I just didn't ever fit in no matter what. So I was homeschooled from seventh grade on.

01:01:53.290 - 01:02:10.450

And, you know, being homeschooled, you know, like there's in psychology, I know that, you know, a lot of your values or your beliefs are formed like from your peers, like as an adolescent and beyond.

01:02:11.460 - 01:02:27.850

So I'm curious to hear like, how do you think like being homeschooled kind of affected your values and—or like cultural values or just values in general? I honestly think it kind of sheltered me from the negativity and the peer

01:02:27.850 - 01:02:39.870

pressures of like high school. And, you know, and the racism that a lot of kids experience and the bullying, I think it sheltered me from that. I–I think, you know, I grew up in the theater.

01:02:40.320 - 01:02:55.950

So I was surrounded by the LGBTQ+ community. And I saw nothing wrong with it. So I can remember being in junior high, or even elementary school, and kids would already have these opinions of the LGBTQ+ community that were so

01:02:55.950 - 01:03:08.680

negative. And I was constantly fighting them about that, because I had my gay uncles, you know, I had a—I was just—it was just normal to me. It wasn't like, “Oh, this is like weird and bizarre.” No, that was just

01:03:08.720 - 01:03:23.070

life, it was just normal. And I—so I think in a lot of ways because I was homeschooled, I came out way more accepting of what most people did not at the time. So I actually think I was fortunate.

01:03:23.070 - 01:03:35.470

But that's also because, you know, my mom and grandma are incredibly liberal. So I think it would be different story if I was in a—was raised in a Christian homeschool situation, right? It'd be a whole ‘nother story with that.

01:03:36.090 - 01:03:48.700

But because I was surrounded by so many beautiful, unique human beings from theatre, and just my mom and grandma's influence, I think it–it allowed me to come at the world from a different place and be more

01:03:48.700 - 01:03:58.320

accepting. And just not even—it's–it's not even a thing of accepting. It was just—it just what—that was just life. That's just people. It wasn't like, “Oh my God, you're gay.” It was like, “Okay, and?”

01:04:03.990 - 01:04:19.110

So, you know, I guess like, when it comes to identity it's kind of like complicated, right? It takes years for people to develop, or kind of find their identity. So I guess what would you identify yourself as

01:04:19.400 - 01:04:28.350

in terms of like race? Would you say you're like, Asian, Asian American? Or does—do these categories even like really matter to you at all?

01:04:29.110 - 01:04:43.840

Um, they matter because it's what casting has put me as in a box, you know, as these sadly, my—a lot of my identity has been around the casting arena, you know, what it means to be an actor.

01:04:44.290 - 01:04:59.110

And I've actually had to really figure out for me what I identify as, and for me personally, I think I identify as a Jewish, mixed Asian woman. Yeah, I do like to say the word Hapa.

01:04:59.760 - 01:05:12.870

I just think it's a beautiful unifying word. But I say that with the utmost respect possible for that word. And it's not something I use lightly at all. But I don't–I don't like

01:05:13.300 - 01:05:27.250

Hafu, I don't like halfie. Because I'm–I'm a whole person. I think take—taking—therapy has helped a lot with figuring out my identity. I would say I–I had—I struggled

01:05:27.250 - 01:05:44.370

most with not necessarily my mixed identity, but my identity outside of show business, and what does it mean, just to be Alex, as a human being. Because for so long, I had been in industry for so long that that

01:05:44.510 - 01:06:04.730

really was my only identity. Yeah. You know, yeah, a lot of people struggle with identity, and also just in general, like feeling like within—like mental health, and there's like a big

01:06:04.730 - 01:06:16.130

like, negative, like stigma towards that, which is, you know, problematic. It is—I'm–I'm really—I'm pretty vocal about, you know, everyone should be in therapy. It's the best thing that ever happened to me.

01:06:16.380 - 01:06:31.440

And I–I encourage anyone that is struggling to seek a therapist, because where else can you just talk your face off and not have anyone judge you. It's really liberating once you accept that.

01:06:31.440 - 01:06:48.410

But not all therapists are equal and lots are expensive, and insurance won't cover it. So I do realize there is a lot of other factors that go into it. I have a question about kind of bridging together cultures.

01:06:49.260 - 01:07:01.440

So you mentioned you worked with like all kinds of bus—all kinds of people. Since you're in like the performing, acting industry? Do you have any advice for, I guess, bridging together cultures

01:07:01.520 - 01:07:15.980

or people of different backgrounds or beliefs or ideas? I think that “Shut up and listen,” is really powerful. That if you come across something you don't

01:07:16.160 - 01:07:26.550

know, don't understand. You can ask questions, but then shut up and listen, and take in what the other culture or people have to say. And–and really listen, not just superficially.

01:07:29.120 - 01:07:41.980

There's nothing wrong with asking questions. I think that that's the only way that people learn, the only way you're going to grow, and I think that-that's really my big advice. It's just, sometimes you're going to find yourself in a certain space,

01:07:42.240 - 01:07:49.670

and it's not your place to talk. And just learning that is very powerful. And just knowing when to like, “You know what, this—I'm–I'm in a new environment.

01:07:51.210 - 01:08:05.030

I, not necessarily, it's not my turn to speak, and I'm just gonna be quiet, and let other people talk to me for a change and tell me their stories.” And we'll go from there. So I have like

01:08:05.030 - 01:08:19.150

one last question. And it's about maintaining relevance in the performing industry, especially, you know, during like the pandemic, right, the performing industry was hit like especially

01:08:19.230 - 01:08:30.570

hard. So like, how do you how do you do it? Like, how do you maintain, you know, having a job basically? Well, you don't. There really wasn't any paying jobs to be had.

01:08:30.830 - 01:08:40.840

I mean, I was fortunate enough that I did book a TV show, which airs tomorrow. And hopefully, I'm not on the cutting room floor. But otherwise, like, there was no work.

01:08:40.920 - 01:08:53.020

There—I was—I'm fortunate enough to also be part of Model Majority, which is an—the first all Asian American sketch comedy troupe in New York City. So we had virtual sketch performances.

01:08:53.730 - 01:09:08.730

And, yeah, we don't get paid, but it was a way to at least have a creative outlet, and still stay relevant within the industry. So we would do those performances. One of my best friends, she—her–her musical was picked up by the Women's Theatre

01:09:08.730 - 01:09:17.420

Festival. And we—it was all recorded by Zoom. And we created musical videos together like she and I would get tested, we were like, in her little pod together.

01:09:17.880 - 01:09:31.060

And we would make music videos together for the Zoom. And that was created. So fortunate enough, like I had other creative outlets besides the magazine. But there was no work to be

01:09:31.130 - 01:09:45.610

had. I mean, I lost—we all lost out on a lot. And you know—and also it was okay, like if you didn't want to be constantly, “Hey, I'm here I'm here in here” because sometimes there's—it's sometimes nice just to sit too.

01:09:46.880 - 01:10:04.060

So at this point I just like to ask, is there anything else that you would like to share with the archive? Um, I don't think—I feel like this is so thorough. And the questions were very good.

01:10:04.060 - 01:10:11.150

So I don't really necessarily have anything else I could–could share. I just appreciate you guys taking the time to speak with me.

01:10:11.590 - 01:10:26.970

Yeah, so this is one last question. I just—I don't know if you like you plan to have kids or not, but I guess they usually like—I ask, like, is there a message you would like to provide

01:10:27.450 - 01:10:37.980

just to your descendants? Or if not just like a general message? That's so funny, I'm actually hoping to freeze my eggs. It's going to be a process, we'll see.

01:10:38.550 - 01:10:57.610

Actually, just—yeah, it's–it's actually very funny. I just hope that there's so much more now that we're aware of. I feel like this generation and future generations, and there's so

01:10:57.610 - 01:11:19.640

much vocabulary surrounding whether it's the power of saying no, whether it's feeling uncomfortable, and I feel like because of that, that hopefully, if I have a child, that they will grow up in a very empowered

01:11:19.640 - 01:11:35.520

environment, and feel empowered, that they have a voice, and that they can feel seen. Because if I have a kid, the kid's going to be a quarter Chinese, a quarter Japanese and half Jewish.

01:11:36.560 - 01:11:50.010

And—but they'll also be mixed Asian. So I'm just hoping that maybe with the work I've done within the mixed community, that they will—won't struggle with their identity as

01:11:50.780 - 01:12:05.670

I have. And they'll just be free just to be a human being without having to explain themselves. Thank you so much for sharing that message and for providing your oral history with us today.

01:12:05.670 - 01:12:08.100

Yeah, thank you. Thanks for having me.